Flip-flops are the loudest quiet shoes in the world. One minute you’re relaxing, and the next you’re walking through the house sounding like a lazy seal clapping. They flap, they flop, and they somehow still fly off your feet mid-step. No wonder Flip-Flop Jokes are just as loud and silly.
Flip-Flop Jokes take the sound, the drama, and the chaos of these sandals and turn them into pure comedy. From beach fails to flip-flop slaps, these jokes walk the line between totally weird and hilariously real. It’s the only footwear that deserves its own category of comedy.
Best Flip-Flop Jokes
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Phillipe Phillope.
What does an indecisive person wear?
Flip Flops.
Why do they call them sandals?
Because if you wear them to the beach, sandal get in your shoes.
Why can’t cows wear flip-flops?
They lactose.
What do you call a naked guy walking in sandals?
Flip-flop.
Yo mama so fat, she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops.
What is Hillary Clinton’s favorite type of footwear?
Flip-flops.
Flip-flops are okay.
But shoes help out in the long run.
What shoe can’t make up its mind?
Flip flops.
A child comes home and shouts from the hallway, “Mom! Mom!”
A scream comes from the kitchen, “What are you yelling for?! Come here and say what you want like a normal human being!”
The kid stomps across the apartment and walks up to her, “Mom, I just stepped into dog sh*t in front of the house, where do I wash my sandals?”
To whoever stole my camouflage jacket and flip-flops.
You can hide, but you can’t run!
Why does Santa wear Boots?
Because if he wore flip flops, he’d hurt his toe-ho-hos.
What’s the favorite chip of people who only wear flip flops?
Fritos.
What did the fish do to cross the street?
It put on it’s flip flops.
Did you hear about the flip flop that got stolen?
It was a real sandal.
My friend went bankrupt after inventing a sandal for people with only one leg.
It was a flop.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open Toad sandals.
What’s a flip-flop’s favorite type of music?
Sole music.
Two men are discussing their recent wedding anniversaries.
What did you get your wife? Says the first man.
“I bought my wife a 5-carat diamond ring and a new Mercedes-Benz. So if she doesn’t like the cut of the diamond, she can drive back to the store to exchange it. What did you get yours?”
“I got her a pair of flip flops and a new d*ldo. So if she doesn’t like the flip flops she can go f*ck herself.”
What do you call someone who can’t turn pancakes?
A flip-flop.
What do you call a socialist wearing flip-flops?
Bernie Sandals.
There were five distinctive wet little thuds against the garden fence…
That told me mowing the lawn in my flip flops may not have been a great idea.
What do you call a fat flip-flop?
A Chunkla.
What’s a flip-flop’s favorite game?
Sock-er.
There were two thieves who were also being crucified next to Jesus. One of them said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
Jesus looked towards the thief and said, “Truly I say to you, today you shall be with me in para…ARE THOSE MY SANDALS!”
Why did the Inventor of sandals take back his claim for a patent?
He got cold feet.
What do you call two left sandals?
Flip flips.
What did the man say when he could only afford a cheap pair of rubber sandals?
“I’ve hit croc bottom.”
Why does Jesus wear sandals?
Because his socks are holy.
What’s more lit than socks with sandals?
Crocs with candles.
Recommended: Summer Jokes
Why do elephants wear sandals?
So that they don’t sink in the sand.
Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.
What did the boot say to the sandal when it was bothering him?
“Shoe!”
What kind of sandals do parrots wear?
Birdkenstocks.
What do you call a celebrity who makes shoes for the beach?
Adam Sandaler.
If Sandman had plushie, what would it be called?
Sandals.
A married couple was on holiday in a remote part of the Arab country side. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside, they heard a gentleman with an Arabian accent say, “You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.”
So the couple walked in and the shopkeeper says to them, “I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They have special power. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel.” Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the shopkeeper claimed, but her husband felt he really didn’t need them, being the sex God he was.
The husband asked the man, “How could sandals improve my abilities?” The Arab man replied, “Just try dem on, Saiheeb. The sandals will prove it to you.” Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn’t seen in many years: raw sexual power!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Arab man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down the man’s pants and his own, and grabbed firm hold of the Arabs thighs. The shopkeeper then began screaming, “YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!”
Why did the flip-flop get rejected from the dance club?
It couldn’t find a sole-mate.
I lost one of my flip-flops at the beach.
Now I’m just toe-tally confused.
Why Croc sandals are like getting a bl*wjob from a dude?.
They feel amazing but you realize how g@y you are when you look down.
Recommended: Sock Jokes
Flip flops are fun. Every time you take a step….
….it’s like a high five for your foot.
What is a flip-flop influencer’s favorite game?
TikTok-toe.
Why don’t rogues wear flip flops?
Because they’re sneakers.
What’s a flip-flop’s dream job?
A foot model — born for it!
Do you have a funny Flip-Flop Joke? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!
