70 Funny Sock Jokes And Puns That Will Knock Your Socks Off

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Jessica Amlee


Hola, sock enthusiasts! Are you looking for funny sock jokes to express your deep love of shoes? Or are you looking for the best socks puns for your colorful socks-obsessed audience? If so, you’ve come to the right place on the internet.
We chose the most popular sock jokes and puns, which may have inspired many memes.

Best Sock Jokes

Have you heard that my sock collection is by far the best?
It is simply unmatched.

What will happen if you lose your left sock, your left shoe, and your left glove?
You’ll be all Right.

Yo mama tiddies so long, she has to tuck them into her socks.

One friend to another: Your sock has a hole in it.
Other friend: I know. How do you think I got my foot in it?!

Do you know that socks exhibit quantum entanglement?
As soon as one puts on their left sock, the other sock immediately becomes the right sock, and vice versa, regardless of the distance between them.

What’s the difference between a camera and a sock?
A camera takes photos and a sock takes 5 toes.

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?”
“In case they get a hole in one!”

What did the seamstress say and do when she noticed a hole in her sock?

Remember if you lose a sock in the dryer….
It comes back as a Tupperware lid, that doesn’t fit any of your containers.

What’s considered trashy if you’re poor but class if you’re rich?
No socks.

What did the foot say to the sock that was about to enter a race?
“You’re a shoe in.”

What did the socks say to the pants?
“Wassup, britches?”

Yo mama so nasty, everyone knows she’s on her period because she’s only wearing one sock.

Why do golfers have an extra pair of socks?
Incase they get a hole in one.

What school do men attend, to learn how to m*sturbate?
The school of hard socks.

Why do they buy some new socks when feeling down?
Cause you know what they say:
A hat warms the head,
A coat warms the body,
But socks warm the sole.

What do sock puppets eat?
Finger foods.

What do you call a faceless sock puppet?
A mitten.

How do you get a washing machine to shut up?
Put a sock in it.

Is a pair of socks an even or odd number?
Even. But they smell odd.

Recommended: Shirt Jokes

Why does Jesus wear sandals?
Because his socks are holy.

What kinds of socks do falcons wear?
A pair of green.

What do you call Spock after he goes to the bathroom?
Sock, because he got all the Pee out of him!

How do you say socks in Spanish?
Eso Si Que Es (S O C K S).

Yo mama so fat, she wears pillow cases for socks.

How to kill a sock puppet that’s planning to shoot up people?
Disarm it.

What do you call a crappy sock puppet?
Sock pooppet.

How many socks did the alcoholic want?
Dos Sockies.

How are socks like Popes?
They get really holey then they die.

What kind of socks do bears wear?
They don’t, they go bear foot.

How many socks does a mathematician have?
2n-1. No many how many pairs, you are always missing one.

What is a pirate’s favorite sock?

What did 50 Cent say to his grandmother when she made him a pair of socks?
“Gee, you knit?”

What sock do you put on last?
The one that’s left.

What do you call someone’s throat that has been transplanted with a sock?
An Esockagus.

Walk a mile in the shoes of a man with no legs!
It just socks.

Why the centipede is always late for school?
Because she has to wear socks.

How is going into your son’s room similar to going to Ikea?
You go in just to see what’s new and come out with 10 plates 3 cups and a pair of socks.

What is the difference between cellular division and a sock?
Nothing, they both involve mitosis.

Yo mama so dumb, when I asked her why it jingles when she walks, she said it’s because she invests in “Penny socks.”

How long should socks be?
Twelve inches, so you can fit in one foot!

What do you call it when someone is wearing socks and sandals?

What makes a sock depressed?
de feet.

How do shoes get creative?
They think outside the socks.

What’s more lit than socks with sandals?
Crocs with candles.

Why did the bride get cold feet?
She forgot to wear socks.

Why was the sock ripped?
He went to the gym regularly.

Why do people who don’t change their socks often get more bug bites than people who change their socks?
They’ve got musky toes (mosquitoes)!

Why did the Satanist throw away all his old socks?
They were too holey.

What’s an alternative pay structure that a footware company might use?
Sock Options.

What kind of socks can say hi in China?
Knee high.

What did the sock say to the ripped sock?
“Socks to be you.”

What kind of socks do you need to grow broccoli?
Garden hose.

Yo mama so dumb, she has to take off your shoes and socks to count to 20.

What do you call a philosophical sock?

A young boy and a girl sit in a bed, and the boy asks the girl, “Are you a boy or a girl?”
“I’m not sure,” she laughed.
“If you want, I can check for you,” he said with a smile.
“OK,” he said as he sank beneath the sheets, and she burst out laughing as he rose.
“You’re a girl!” he exclaimed.
“How do you know that?”
“You have pink socks on!”

What is a shoe’s favorite sport?

A husband decided to pull a joke on his wife and texted her saying, “It’s not cheating if I leave my socks on is it?”
She texted back saying, “No hon it’s not, I do it all the time.”

Yo mama so skinny, she has to put rubber bands around her ankles to keep her socks up.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife won’t let him use socks anymore.

What do a sock and a boat have in common?
Both of them have ‘SeaMen’ in them.

What does a mineralogist call his cum sock?

Have you heard about the incel action figure?
It comes in a sock instead of a box.

What do you call a cum sock on New Year’s day?
A blast from the past!

How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Substitute it for your sock and wait 9 months.

Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put the wrong sock on this morning.

Yo mama so poor, her socks are so holy, they go to church by themselves.

Why did the man cum inside the sock?
He wanted step kids.

Why’d the man jack off into his sock?
He wanted to get off on the right foot.

Reading the wittiest sock jokes and puns will either knock your socks off or pull them up. Do you have any extra jokes about socks? Let us know in the comment section below.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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