80 Funny Underwear Jokes for Brief Run Into Humor

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Jessica Amlee

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Underwear, an everyday item for both men and women, carries a certain significance beyond its basic function. For some, it’s about comfort, for others, it’s about expressing personal style or feeling confident. Men’s briefs, women’s panties, or delicate lingerie, these undergarments are personal and often overlooked elements of our wardrobe. However, in the realm of humor, nothing is off-limits, and underwear makes for an amusing subject. Underwear jokes often involve clever puns or humorous scenarios that play off this everyday item.

These jokes add a pinch of light-hearted humor to our daily dressing routine. They make us laugh, reminding us that even the most mundane parts of life can be sources of joy.

Best Underwear Jokes

What do you call a man with no vacuum cleaner and itchy underwear?
Novak Djokovic.

What does it mean if you saw your wife walk by with her sexiest underwear on?
It’s laundry day.

For what kind of dancing should men wear loose-fitting underwear?
Ballroom dancing.

What do you see when a duck pulls down his underwear?
His butt quack.

What do you call a pirate’s undergarments?

Yo mama so fat, when her underwear got dirty and she went to the laundromat, they told her that they don’t accept parachutes.

Husband: Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing.
Wife: Wear your own then.

What’s so great about underwear jokes?
They are brief.

Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of the knickers.

Little Johnny was bored one rainy day, so he pick up the family Bible looking for interesting pictures. Paging through it, something fell out.
Turns out, it was a large oak leaf that had been pressed long ago between the pages. He immediately took it to his parents to proudly announce, “Look what I found in the Bible.”
“Adam’s underwear!”

What do you call underwear that defends itself?
A boxer.

Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip.

What does a p*rn star do to stay calm on set?
Pictures everyone in their underwear.

What is the brand of underwear that Thor uses?
Ass guard.

What type of underwear does Lara Croft wear?
Fruit of the tomb.

A guy bursts into a psychiatrist’s office wearing nothing but saran wrap underwear.
The doctor takes one look at him and says, “Well, I can clearly see your nuts.”

What do you call transparent women’s underwear?
And what about men’s underwear?

What do you call a mortician that steals dead people’s underwear?
An Undietaker.

What is women’s underwear a great example of?
You can make something half-assed and it still becomes very successful.

Why are panties always at the bottom of the laundry basket?
Because they are undergarments.

Recommended: Panty Jokes

If ordinary underwear is called under-pants and storm underwear is called thunder-pants, what do you call a superheroes underwear?

Why doesn’t Santa wear any underwear?
Because he’s Saint Knicker-less!

Yo mama so nasty, when the doctor asked her for a urine sample, a stool sample, and a blood sample, she gave him her underwear.

What do you call a steamer trunk full of underwear?
A chest of drawers.

Why did the drill sergeant refuse to wear underwear under his uniform?
So he could have easy access to his privates while in commando.

Why do quiet paintings always ruin your underwear?
Because they’re shhh-art.

A man goes to a costume party wearing nothing but his underwear and a woman on his back.
His friends see him and say, “Hey man, what are you supposed to be?”
He replies, “Oh, I’m dressed as a turtle.”
His friends respond, “A turtle? How are you a turtle? Who’s that woman on your back?”
The man replies, “Oh that’s just Michelle.”

What do you call a new pair of underwear?
Unsharted Territory.

A lawyer walked into the courtroom wearing nothing but his underwear and asked, “Can we please postpone the trial?”
The judge replied, “Of course! How can we start when you’ve forgotten your lawsuit?”

Do you know that lawyers don’t have underwear drawers?
They use briefcases.

Two guys in a health club, one is putting on lace knickers.
“Since when do you wear women’s pants?” asked one.
“Since my wife found them in the glove compartment!” replied the other.

Why do women have flowers on the front of their underwear?
It’s in loving memory of all the faces buried there.

What do you call a guy who fills his underwear with glitter?
Pretty nuts.

Why are zebras like my underwear?
Each has its own unique stripes.

A guy goes to a costume party wearing only underpants.
The host says, “What are you supposed to be?”
The guy replies, “I’m a premature ej*culation. I just came in my underwear.”

Why don’t chickens wear underwear?
Because their pecker is on their face.

What’s a programmer’s favorite underwear?
The string.

How does Google like to dress?
Software, maybe underwear in incognito.

What do you call a lady gardener’s underwear?

What’s grosser than gross?
When you throw your underwear and it sticks to the wall.
What’s grosser than that?
When you come back an hour later and it’s moved up three feet.

How is a lid on a sewer and a pair of men’s underwear the same?
They’re both manhole covers.

How is knowledge like underwear?
You need to have it but you don’t need to show it but people always want to be the superman.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought algebra was plant based underwear.

What kind of underwear do long-distance runners wear?

Why are farts the sharpest thing in the world?
They cut right through your underwear and pants without leaving a hole.

What undergarment does a psychologist wear?
A Freudian Slip.

A bodybuilder takes off his shirt and starts flexing in front of a blonde woman.
She exclaims, “Wow, what a great chest you have!”
“He says, “Solid dynamite, babe.”
He then takes off his pants and the blonde says, “Wow, what massive calves you have!”
He flexes his leg muscles and says, “Like I said, pure dynamite, sweetheart.”
Then he removes his underwear and the blonde goes running and screaming in fear.
He gets dressed and goes chasing after the woman. When he catches up to her, he asks, “Why the hell did you go running off like that?”
She replies, “I was afraid to be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was.”

Where does a dinosaur keep his underwear?

Did you hear that William Shatner wanted to start up a line of female underwear?
Unfortunately “Shatner Panties” wasn’t the greatest brand name.

What do you call small splinters in your thermal underwear?
Long John slivers.

Why didn’t the underwear cross the road?
Because it was stuck in the crack.

What kind of underwear do vegetables wear?

What was the name of the movie about the guy that lost his underwear?
Free Willy.

What did the hat say to the pair of underwear?
“You stay behind, I’ll go on a head.”

What do you call a bounty hunter with no underwear?
The Commandolorian.

Grandpa: You can tell if a guy is gay from the color of his underwear.
Grandson: You mean like if they’re pink, or purple? What the hell is wrong with a guy wearing pink or purple?!
Grandpa: No, no, no, white stains on the back side, brown stains on the front!

What is the opposite of Underwear?

Why should you never buy Russian underwear?
Because Chernobyl fallout.

What do you call a Jewish person that doesn’t wear underwear?
An Israeli commando.

If a woman’s bra is an ‘Over-the-Shoulder-Boulder-Holder’ and a man’s underwear is an ‘Under-the-Butt-Nut-Hut’ then what does that make a woman’s panties?
A ‘Below-the-Patch-Snatch-Hatch.’

Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?
To keep his ankles warm.

How do parents in West Virginia explain underwear to children?
“Yellow means front, brown means back.”

What kind of underwear does a spine wear?
A vertebra.

Did you hear about the fight between Chuck Norris and Superman?
The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside.

Why do the Chinese have two holes in their underwear?
One for each leg.

How many times are too many times wearing the same underwear?
When you ask yourself when the heck did you buy leopard print.

What do you call a men’s pair of underwear?
A junk drawer.

A poem about elderly women’s underwear.
Rose’s are red.
Violet’s are blue.
Esther’s are green.

What do tight underwear and a cheap mansion have in common?
No ballroom.

How is underwear like a cassette tape?
There’s Side A & Side B.

Recommended: Fart Jokes

Did you hear of the guy who won the dirty underwear contest 7 times in a row?
He was on a real winning streak.

Did you hear about the man who got mad at his friend for smelling his sister’s underwear?
Can’t say if it was because she was still wearing them or because the rest of the family was there. Either way, it made the rest of the funeral really awkward.

What do you call a snake you can wear as underwear?
A pithong.

What brand of underwear do scientists use?
Kelvin Klein.

What type of underwear does a yard wear?

Little Susie was swinging on the swing set in her yard.
Her mother yells out, “Don’t swing so high or those boys across the street will see your underwear!”
“No, they won’t,” Susie yelled back. “I’m not wearing any.”

How does wearing your underwear as socks make you a winner?
You are undie feated.

Why do pirates wear underwear?
To hide their booty.

Have you ever met a man with 5 penises?
Someone said, “That must be rough”…and “How does your underwear fit?”
He replied, “Like a glove!”

Recommended: Penis Jokes

Paddy’s wife bought a pair of crotch-less knickers.
In an attempt to spice up her and her hubby’s sex life.
She put them on with a short skirt and sat on the sofa opposite her husband.
Every so often she would uncross her legs enough times till her husband noticed.
The husband said, “Are you wearing crotch-less panties?”
“Yes,” she answered seductively.
The husband replied, “Thank f*ck for that. I thought the stuffing was coming out of the sofa.”

Why don’t electricians wear underwear?
They hate shorts.

Why couldn’t the jock pay for new underwear?
He was strapped for cash.

What do you call two underwear thieves?
A pair of Knickers.

Do you have a funny underwear joke? Write down your own underwear puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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