35 Funny Flood Jokes And Puns That Will Keep You Afloat

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Jessica Amlee

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When disaster strikes, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and discouraged. That’s why it’s important to find humor in even the most trying situations. And what’s more trying than a flood? Luckily, there are plenty of flood jokes out there to help you stay afloat. Whether you’re dealing with flooded basements, washed-out roads, or rising tides, these jokes will bring a smile to your face and help you see the lighter side of the situation.

From puns about floodwaters to clever quips about Noah’s Ark, the best flood jokes will keep you laughing until the waters recede. So let’s dive in and explore the flood joke genre, and discover the joy that can be found even in the midst of a watery disaster.

Best Flooding Jokes

Where did Noah keep the bees during the flood?
In the Ark Hives.

What did the selfish beaver say to the deer that asked him to help stop the flooding affecting her grazing grounds?
“Frankly, my deer, I don’t give a dam.”

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Noah who?)
Noah a better way to build an ark than waiting for a flood!

Did you hear the local concrete plant was flooded last week?
They’re having a hard time moving inventory now.

What do a cyclone, flood, fire, and woman have in common?
Sooner or later one of them will get your house.

Yo mama so fat, she tried to cross over from Mexico, damned up the Rio Grande, and flooded Texas.

Where were the Egyptians during the flood?
In de-nile.

Why did the salmon cross the road?
Cause it’s f*cking flooded.

Why do you have to act quickly during a flood
Because it’s an emergent sea.

What do you call a parking lot that has been flooded?
Car pool.

What does the Pope say when the Grand Canyon starts to flash flood?
“God, dam it.”

What shoes do you buy when your basement is flooded?

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Water who?)
Water you going to do when the flood comes?

Why are Dutch people so tall?
Shorter ones drowned in floods.

Angel: Will be there anyone surviving the Flood?
God: I Noah guy.

What do you do when a bad plumber backs up your toilet and causes a flood in your house?
“You sewer.”

In a flood-affected town, a woman and her neighbor are trapped on her roof, awaiting assistance.
While they wait, the neighbor observes a baseball cap floating in the floodwaters. To her surprise, the baseball cap spins around and begins drifting in the opposite direction. It turns around and floats back after some distance. She watches this for a while, back and forth in a pattern, until she chooses to point it out.
“Do you see that baseball cap? Isn’t that the strangest thing you’ve ever seen?”
“Oh, that?” replies the woman. “That’s my husband. I told him he’s mowing the lawn today come hell or high water.”

What is it called when Venice has a flood?

Recommended: Storm Jokes

Did you hear about the villain who was charged with trying to flood the city?
He denied everything, but the police found substantial levy dents.

How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
“Very put out, indeed!”

Yo mama so fat, she sweats floods.

What do you call a police station after it’s been flooded?

Why do ducks love floods?
They get to paddle around in their own living room!

Why was the flood so happy?
It had a lot of water under the bridge!

In the Caribbean, an engineer and an attorney were fishing.
“I’m here because my house burned down and everything I owned was lost by the fire,” the attorney explained. “The insurance company covered everything.”
“That’s quite a coincidence,” the engineer said. “I’m here because a flood ruined my house and all of my stuff, and my insurance company also paid for everything.”
“How do you start a flood?” the perplexed attorney inquired.

Why did the gym coach flood the gym?
So he could send in a Sub.

What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?
Flood lights.

What detergent do flood survivors use to clean their clothes?

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Rain who?)
Rain or shine, the flood is always a possibility!

Recommended: Hurricane Jokes

What is a Tsunami’s favorite song?
The Flood!

What’s worse than an earthquake ravaging a city?
The ensuing Tsunami flood washing everything away!

What do you call a flooded school for dis*bled kids?
Vegetable soup.

How did the gay town survive the flood?
They used dykes.

Why do kids in Bangladesh need not go to pools?
Because they get floods to swim in.

Do you have a flood joke? Post your own flood puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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