50 Funny Earthquake Jokes And Puns To Shake Up Your Day

Funny Earthquake Jokes on Disaster
Funny Earthquake Jokes

Welcome to the epicenter of humor, where we present to you a collection of earthquake jokes that’ll shake up your day and leave you trembling with laughter! Our blog is dedicated to tickling your funny bone with rib-tickling one-liners, puns, and side-splitting quips centered around one of Mother Nature’s most awe-inspiring phenomena: earthquakes.

As you explore our collection, be prepared to experience seismic smiles and aftershocks of laughter that will resonate with your friends and family. So, put on your hard hat, brace yourself, and dive into the world of geological giggles with these hilariously ground-breaking earthquake jokes!

Best Earthquake Jokes

Did you hear about the scientist who recently said that the “perfect earthquake” was going to strike your city soon?
The evidence to support his claim was shaky at best.

What do they have for breakfast in earthquake zones?

What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
“Sorry, my fault!”

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, people got an earthquake alert on their phones.

What did one earthquake say to the other after it shook the ground?
“I didn’t mean to cause such a rift between us!”

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there? Who’s knocking?)
Knock, knock intensifies.
Why can’t I see you? Where are you hiding?
Dies in an Earthquake.

Did you hear about the librarian that was killed in an earthquake?
She was crushed by a title wave.

What do you call if someone is killed by an earthquake?
It is murder by default.

Why are books about earthquakes extremely popular?
They’re literally flying off the shelves.

Yo Mama so fat, when she was approaching the McDonald’s they closed due to an earthquake.

What do you call it when 2 earthquakes decide to end their marriage?
It was a no-fault divorce.

Did you hear about the LEGO Museum which was hit by an earthquake?
Many were devastated that nearly all of the brick sculptures were destroyed, but the staff were able to pick up the pieces and move on.

A huge earthquake shook Mexico.
Around 3000 people died.
The world combined efforts to help Mexico during these hard times.
England gave medicine.
France sent food.
Germany made huge donations.
The USA sent 3000 Mexicans to replenish the stock.

How do you start an earthquake in East Africa?
Shake Djibouti.

What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A milkshake.

Do you hear about the earthquake in Alaska?
Sorry, that’s a bad ice breaker.

Why did the man’s ex-wife call him “earthquake?”
Because whenever they have a dispute, he’s always at fault.

During an earthquake, why should you take shelter with a horse?
Their houses are always stable.

What cheese is left over after an earthquake?
De brie.

Do you know that scientists have just found out that Jupiter does not experience earthquakes?
It experience jupiterquakes.

A guy bursts into a dentist’s office.
He says, “Hey, listen here buddy, you have to help me now. My teeth are so sensitive they can sense impending earthquakes.”
The dentist looked at him sternly for a moment and said, “You’ve got some nerve.”

What’s an Etch-A-Sketch artist’s worst nightmare?
An earthquake.

Did you hear about how James Bond slept through an earthquake?
He was shaken, not stirred.

What was the earthquake’s punishment?
It was grounded.

Why is a planet that is earthquake-free so awesome?
Because it’s crack-a-lackin’.

Why does Florida have so many Conservatives and California have so many earthquakes?
California had first choice!

The Christian Brothers’ monastery was destroyed by an earthquake.
All fifty brothers were brought to heaven at the same moment.
St. Peter remarked at the Pearly Gates, “Let’s take the entrance test together. Now for the first question. How many of you have had fun with young boys?”
49 people raised their hands.
“Right!” said St. Peter. “You forty-nine can go down to Hell. Oh, and take that deaf bastard with you!”

Why do fat people cause earthquakes?
Because they’re always moving plates.

Recommended: Fat People Jokes

What natural disaster does earth like the most?
Earthquakes. They always seem to crack it up.

What’s the difference between an earthquake and a sweaty kid?
One shakes a tower while the other takes a shower.

Did you see the earthquake in Japan on TV?
It was a ground breaking news.

Where is the safest place to be shopping during an earthquake?
A stationary store.

Did you hear about the earthquake that destroyed 4046.856 square meters of land during church?
Some people call it a massacre.

A lot of cities like to name their sports teams after their state’s major disasters
For example:
Chicago Fire (Soccer)
Colorado Avalanche (Hockey)
Kansas City Tornadoes (Basketball)
San Jose Earthquakes (Soccer)
Miami Hurricanes (Football)
New York City Jets (Football).

Why don’t Jehovah’s Witnesses get killed during an earthquake?
Because they are always in your doorway.

Tsunami invited Cyclone, Earthquake, and Drought to a tea party.
No one came. Tsunami had a silent tea.

What’s the difference between a U-Haul and an earthquake?
One’s a mover and the other’s a shaker.

How does a Dutch gecko know when there’s an earthquake?
Van der Waals start shaking.

When have video games ever hurt anyone?
Well actually, three thousand people were killed in California in the 1906 earthquake. That was San Andreas’s fault.

What do you call an Arabian Elvis in an earthquake?
Amal Shookup.

What’s wet and likes to shake?
An earthquake on a rainy day.

Recommended: Storm Jokes

What is an earthquake’s favorite exercise?
The shake weight.

What causes German Earthquakes?
Teutonic Plates.

One day a local scientist named Steve was sent a mysterious email. The email read:
Steve, I know who you are, and where you live. My name must remain anonymous, so as of now you may refer to me as “Somebody”. Steve, I contact you because my independent studies have discovered a massive earthquake heading your way. You, your research center, your city, and half of your State are in for the mother of all earthquakes. My advanced Richter scale is reading an earthquake with a magnitude of 13! That’s an extremely dangerous magnitude as you should know, your state will literally vibrate, do the wave, roll itself out, in other words, you will die if you don’t act now. You have exactly 25 hours to evacuate everyone and take any important instruments or research devices that cannot be lost or replaced, to safety. By my calculations you’ll pick up the oncoming earthquake in 4 hours, but if every city and town doesn’t start evacuating in 8 hours, it may be too late to save everyone.
Steve panicked, he didn’t want to risk anything so he packed all of his important instruments first into a van and pulled out his laptop. He needed to make sure that this was a confirmed earthquake and not some hoax. So he did, he waited the four hours and sure enough, it was real. He quickly speed-dialed the mayor, who had always been a good friend of his.
“Steve, you caught me at a rough time what do you need?”
“Mayor you need to evacuate half of the state, we’re all in danger!”
“Woah! Woah! Steve, are you okay? What’s going on?”
“Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me.”

What do you call an earthquake during a production of Hamlet?
A Shakesperience.

Did you hear about the knight who died during an earthquake?
His name was Sir chasm.

What do you call an earthquake by the ocean?
A salt shaker.

Why are women not afraid of earthquakes?
Because women never think that they are at fault.

Recommended: Flood Jokes

Yo mama so fat, she doesn’t use a vibrator, she sits directly on the epicenter of the earthquake.

What happens during an earthquake?
Coffins become underground maracas.

Do you have another earthquake joke? Post your own earthquake puns in the comment section below.

What do you think?

Written by Jessica Amlee

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Known for her sharp wit and clever wordplay, Jessica has authored several popular joke books. A regular at stand-up comedy clubs, she never fails to leave her audience in stitches. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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