A storm is a broad term that refers to a wide range of atmospheric disturbances, from simple rain showers and snowstorms to thunderstorms, wind, and wind-related disturbances such as tornadoes, tropical cyclones, and sandstorms. In such situations, schools get closed, transportation systems are disrupted, and universities usually cancel in-person classes. Despite the chaos, people say that every cloud has a silver lining. The silver lining in this case is jokes. Storm jokes.
These jokes attempt to add a sense of comic relief to the horrors of the dangerous storm.
Best Storm Jokes
What do you call when a storm blew away one-fourth of your roof last night?
What do clouds wear during a storm?
Why was the man worried about the trees in his garden considering the severity of the storm?
Mostly because he didn’t have any before.
Why did the wife keep looking through the windows since the storm started?
If it gets worse, the husband has to let her in.
What’s sexy about tropical storm warnings?
They cause premature evacuation.
During the storm, what happened to the man who grew a cucumber so large that he was able to turn it into his house?
Now he’s in a pickle.
Why shouldn’t you smoke weed during a thunderstorm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
What do you call thunder and lightning in a tea cup?
A storm brewing.
What’s a zombie’s favorite weather?
What do you call a leak in your room caused due to a storm?
A husband told his wife, “I’m going fishing early tomorrow morning.”
She replied, “It’s supposed to rain.”
“No problem, water won’t bother me. I’m going, rain or shine.”
So, at 4:00 a.m. he hooks up his boat, and just as he leaves the driveway, a big storm hits. Rain, hail, and high winds cause him to change his mind, so he returned home, backed his boat trailer back in, went back inside, and quietly slipped back into bed with his wife.
He whispered as she moved next to him, “It’s horrible weather out there, really rough.”
She answered, “Yeah, and my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit.”
Recommended: Rain Puns
What do you call a deer in a storm?
How mad does the Earth get after people throw garbage at it?
Heats up and storms off.
What do you call someone who got arrested stealing concrete mix during a storm?
A hardened criminal.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecasted?
It’s the clam before the storm.
What is storm cloud’s favorite novel?
50 Shades Of Gray.
On a dark night in the middle of a storm, John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was hitchhiking on the side of the road. The night passed by with no car passing by. The storm was so intense that he couldn’t see more than a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he noticed a car approaching him slowly and stopping. John, desperate for shelter, jumped into his car and shut the door without thinking. Only to discover that there was no one behind the wheel and that the engine was not turned on.
The car began to move slowly. When John looked ahead, he noticed a curve coming up. Fearful, he began to pray, pleading for his life. Then, just as the car was approaching the curve, a hand appeared from nowhere through the window and turned the wheel. The hand came through the window, paralyzing John, but it never touched or harmed him. Shortly after, John noticed the lights of a pub appear down the road, so he jumped out of the car and ran to it. He rushed inside, wet and out of breath, and began telling everyone about the horrible experience he had just had. When everyone realized he was crying, the pub fell silent and he wasn’t drunk.
Suddenly, the door swung open, and two more people emerged from the dark and stormy night. They were soaked and out of breath, just like John. One said to the other, looking around and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, “Look Paddy! There’s that fooking idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!”
What do you call a sad storm?
Did you hear about that new weather app that already has 100 million downloads?
It’s taking the nation by storm.
Why did Jesus sail in the storm on the Sea of Galilee?
It’s not like he was a huge fan of the fairer seas.
What do you call a bird flying in a storm wearing armor?
A knight in gale.
Why was Optimus Prime excited about the incoming storm?
Because he heard it had already blown several transformers.
The captain realized his ship was sinking quickly as the storm raged.
“Does anyone here know how to pray?” he asked. One man took a step forward. “I know how to pray, Captain.”
“All right,” the captain said, “you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets.” We’re one short.”
Why was the man denied storm insurance for his campsite?
They said that if his tents get blown away, he won’t be covered.
Recommended: Camping Jokes
Why were the people urged to avoid the cheese factory during the storm?
Reports say flying debrie is the main cause of concern.
What do you call a funnel-shaped storm made of ketchup?
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It’s mime blowing.
Why couldn’t the owl find love in a rain storm?
Too wet to woo.
A man visits the doctor because his pee burns. The man notices how buff the doctor is when he walks in. This doctor is a jerk.
The examination begins, and the muscular physician cannot stop bringing up the weather.
“Don’t you think it’s hotter than usual this time of year?”
“There will be a storm this weekend.” He goes on and on.
After some time, the man inquires, “Why do you keep bringing up the weather? This has nothing to do with the fact that it burns when I pee.”
“My apologies,” said the doctor. “I’m a Meaty Urologist.”
If storms made their own football team, who would be their captain?
A couple comes across a skunk on the side of the road during a storm.
“That poor thing, we should stop and rescue it,” the woman says. The man pulls over, and the woman gets out, picks up the skunk, and gets back in the car, asking, “What should I do with it?” “Put it between your legs to keep him warm,” the man suggested. “But what about the smell?” she inquired. “Just hold its little nose?” he suggested.
Did you hear about the tornado chaser that lost all their camera when they got too close to the storm?
Their photos were uploaded to the cloud.
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
Did you hear about the king who was found dead after the storm?
His rain was over.
What happens when a meteorologist gets angry?
They storm out.
A plane is caught in a violent thunderstorm. Lightning strikes the plane multiple times, and strong winds buffet it in all directions. All of the passengers are convinced they will die. Some are yelling, many are vomiting, and a few are praying.
Finally, an attractive, well-dressed first-class businesswoman stands up and yells, “I can’t stand it anymore. I refuse to be strapped down in this seat like an animal. I’m a woman, damnit! I’m a woman. Is there anyone here who can make me feel like a woman before I die?”
A tourist class man stands up. He has a Greek god’s face and the body of a Roman legionary. The woman can see his bulging muscles through his clothing. The man moves up the aisle like a cat, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. As he approaches the woman, he makes a magnificent gesture by removing his shirt.
His hot breath fanning her face as he hovers over her, almost touching her. He claims “Before you die, I can make you feel like a woman. Are you up for it?”
Her heart is pounding like a hammer. She doesn’t have the energy to speak. All she can do is weakly nod her head, “Yes, yes, yes!”
The fellow hands her his shirt, and says, “Here, iron this.”
What type of storm is always in a rush?
Recommended: Hurricane Jokes
What do Jews do when there’s a heavy storm?
Wait for it to Passover.
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Did you hear about the cat who sailed out to sea one evening and drowned in a storm, losing his first life?
He’s an octa puss now.
What do you call a tree who’s limbs fell off in a storm?
In a storm, a nun and a priest are caught. They seek refuge in a cabin in the woods for the night. Inside, there is a bed, a pile of blankets, and a sleeping bag. Because the Priest is a gentleman, he allows the nun to sleep in the bed.
“Priest, I’m so cold, can you get me another blanket?” the nun asks after an hour.
He gets up, goes to get one, and hands it to her. She thanked him before falling asleep.
She wakes him up again an hour later and requests yet another blanket. As a good Christian, he obtains it for her. They doze off once more.
When she wakes him up a third time, he tells her, “Dear Sister, we are in the middle of the night in the woods during a storm. Nobody is going to bother us. So let us pretend for one night that we are married to each other.”
“All right, but only for one night.”
“Then get up and go get the goddamn blanket yourself!”
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken.
Why was the District Attorney happy to see storm clouds?
Because every prosecutor loves arraigny day!
What do you call a tornado that hits a cattle feed lot?
A shit storm.
Recommended: Flood Jokes
So three men were out hiking when they were caught off guard by a storm.
Fortunately, there was a convent nearby, so they dashed to the main entrance and knocked. The convent’s leader, an old priest, opened his eyes and listened to the men’s pleading.
“I might give you shelter tonight, but because I’m the only man here, we have to see if you’re pure of heart in order to protect our nuns.”
The men weren’t sure what to make of it, but they agreed to be tested. After a few moments of waiting at the door, the priest invited them in. There was a line of 100 naked, young nuns inside.
“To test your purity, I’ll tie a string with a small bell around your penis before you pass these nuns. If the bell rings, I must ask you to leave.”
Because they were out of options, the men agreed and undressed. The first man passed five nuns, ten… twenty… bling He dressed and left the convent, embarrassed.
The second man tried not to look at the nuns and walked as quickly as he could without ringing the bell. 10… 20… 30… 33 bling Shivering, he dressed and left.
The third man walked past 10, 20, 50, and 100 nuns, without a single jerk.
“Impressive”, the priest said. “You are truly pure of heart. You shall find shelter in my bed tonight.” bling
Did you guys hear about the guy who meditated in the middle of a storm?
He said that it was a very “in lightening” experience.
What do you call Washington State after a long rain storm?
Washed a Ton State.
A man and his sheepdog are stranded on a large desert island after a terrible storm.
They survive by setting up camp. Every day, the man searches the island for other people, but he never finds them.
The man and his dog were walking one day when they came across a small flock of sheep grazing.
The man gets an idea while looking at the sheep.
He’s not the type of guy who gets into animals, but he’s lonely.
So he finds a female sheep, drops his pants, and is about to perform the deed when the dog starts barking and jumping at him. He eventually gives up and returns the dog to camp.
He tries it a few more times, and each time the dog becomes crazier than the last, so he abandons the idea.
But one morning as he and the dog were walking down the beach, they came across the debris and then an unconscious, beautiful, naked woman washed up on the shore.
He resurrects her. She is frail but grateful.
“You saved me!” she exclaims. I’m not sure how I’m going to repay you!”
Looking into her eyes he says, “Well if you wouldn’t mind holding my dog for about 15 minutes, I would be really grateful.”
What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs?
What is storm cloud’s favorite movie?
50 Shades Of Gray.
Have you heard about that storm in NYC?
The biggest thing to hit New York since those 2 planes.
After a delicious dinner, a woman invites her date to her apartment. They kiss after a brief conversation on the couch. Passions rise, kissing intensifies, and the pressure in her stomach rises. She realizes she will fart at any time, whether she wants to or not.
She pushes her date away and says, “The kissing is eliciting strong emotions in me, and I feel compelled to express them through music. I’d like to perform ‘The Storm,’ a piece I recently learned on the piano.” She sits down at the piano and begins to play.
The piece becomes louder and more tumultuous, and she lets one rip, loud but masked by the music. She plays for a little longer before returning to the couch, relieved that she had escaped with her life.
She feels it again a little later. The stress. She tries to keep it in check, but she knows it will soon overwhelm her. “Oh, honey, I’ve got to play again. My passion drives me.” She repeats her earlier performance and farts at the same point in ‘The Storm.’
As the passion continues, she feels the urge to return to the couch. She states, “I just have to play ‘The Storm’ again, baby. I’m sure you’re sick of hearing it, but I need to express myself.”
She stands and walks to the piano. Her date says, “Go ahead, I love the piece, but could you leave the part out where the lightning strikes the shit house?”
How did Jupiter become the king of the gods?
He took the world by storm.
Why is sex like a thunderstorm?
You never know how many inches you’ll get and how long it’ll last.
A married couple enlisted the services of a captain and his boat.
They were caught in a storm and eventually shipwrecked on a deserted island with only a single palm tree. Every day, the captain or husband would climb the tree in search of rescue ships. The husband was content with his sexual relationship, but after weeks of no sex, the captain became horny. The captain had this brilliant idea the following day. He was looking for ships from the top of the palm tree when he yelled down at the couple, “Hey you guys, stop having sex down there!”
The couple exchanged glances, shrugged their shoulders, and dismissed it.
The husband’s turn to climb the tree and look for ships came the next day. He happened to glance down and thought to himself, “Huh, it really does look like they’re having sex down there.”
What did the Jamaican say when asked about the incoming storm?
Got a better joke on Storm? Post your Bad Weather puns in the comment section below!