July, the heart of summer for many, is a month full of sunny skies, barbecues, and exciting holidays. It’s a time for beach outings, ice cream cones, and carefree enjoyment, as school is out and the days are longer. This vibrant season provides the perfect backdrop for humor, and July jokes are a fun way to add some laughter to these warm summer days.
These jokes often revolve around typical July experiences, whether it’s a funny pun about a summer vacation gone awry or a clever punchline about the heat. So, whether you’re sharing these jokes at a summer campfire or in a group chat with friends, they’re a fantastic way to make the sunny days of July even brighter.
Best July Jokes
What do TikTok and people born in July have in common?
They both are cancer.
How are rioters like school in July?
No class.
What’s the Difference Between February 14th and July 4th?
There isn’t any, at least to me, because they’re both Independence Day.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
July.
(July who?)
July’d to me when you said you didn’t eat my ice cream!
What do gymnasts use to season their food in June, July, and August?
Somersault.
Why do pirates hate May, June July, and August?
Because they don’t have Arrrrrs in them!
July 1st is International Reggae Day.
This is the day I dread.
In which month should you not trust a Jew?
Jew lie (July).
Friend: What is your favorite month?
Other friend: July.
Friend: Why July?
Other friend: No, I didn’t lie!
Recommended: July Memes
Why isn’t the 24th of July a holiday?
Are we really expected to work 24/7?!
How is looking up your symptoms on WebMD like your July Horoscope?
It’s probably cancer.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
July.
(July who?)
July in court and you go to jail for perjury.
What do ants celebrate in July?
Their independ-ants day.
What do you eat on the 5th of July?
Independence day old pizza.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms during the summer months?
Because in July they make up everything, including the heat!
On a blind date, the girl told the boy, “Tell me a little bit about yourself.”
Boy: I’m terrible with dates.
Girl: Don’t worry. You’re doing fine so far.
Boy: Christmas is on July 4th.
Does Europe have a 4th of July?
Yes, it does. It comes right after the 3rd of July.
Did you hear about the man and his wife who just had a daughter and named her JuneJulyAugust?
We call her Summer for short.
What do the Utensils Celebrate on Independence Day?
The Fork of July.
What was the gayest battle in the American Civil War?
The Battle Of Man Asses, fought in July 1861.
What’s a distrusting Mexican’s favorite month?
July.
What do you call retarded person born in July?
A leotard.
What is the funniest pickup line for July?
“Hey girl, are you a parked car in July? Because I want to leave a baby in you.”
What do you say when your friend says it’s June 31st?
July’d.
Recommended: June Jokes
A man wakes up on the 7th of July at 7 o’clock
When he wakes up, he checks his phone and sees that he has 7 missed calls and 7 messages from 7 different persons. He finds the coincidence pretty funny, gets out of bed with a big smile, and gets in his car.
Before starting the engine, he checks on his phone the location of his meeting, when he notices that he has to go to the 7th floor of a building located on 7 Ann Street 7 minutes away from his home. He thinks that this is probably the biggest coincidence he has ever seen in his life and laughs for a few seconds.
After that, he wants to check how much money he has left, so he starts counting how much there is in his wallet. And to his surprise, he notices that he has exactly 777 dollars in bills. He thinks this is much more than a mere coincidence, and today is his lucky day. So instead of going to work, he decides to drive to the nearest sports bar to bet on a horse.
He waits for the 7th race of the day and then bets all of his money on the horse N°7.
The horse arrived in seventh place.
What are the two seasons in Canada?
Winter and July.
Why don’t cats like July?
Because they start the dog days of summer.
How do you stop a dog barking in July?
Shoot him in June.
A kid asks his mom why he’s getting Christmas presents in July.
The mom replies, “Because it is cheaper than chemotherapy.”
Did you know there’s a trick to sense autistic people?
They usually yell out “Hello. It’s July.” from far away.
Did you hear about the woman who went to an orgy for people born in July?
Now she’s telling me she came home with crabs
Does anyone remember when a holiday somehow managed to impregnate a month!?
Ya, it looks like Christmas came in July!
What do you call a mall Santa in July?
A pedophile. You call him a pedophile.
Why did July break up with June?
Because it said, “I need some summer space.”
Do you have a funny July joke? Write down your own July puns in the comment section below!
If someone told me tomorrow is the start of a new month…
…I’d say Julying