40 Funny August Jokes And Puns for the 8th Month of the Year

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Jessica Amlee

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August is a month that embodies different seasonal experiences depending on the hemisphere. In the Northern Hemisphere, August is the epitome of summer: the days are longer, the heat is at its peak, and vacations are in full swing. It’s a time for family barbecues, pool parties, and for students, the last carefree days before the new academic year begins. Conversely, in the Southern Hemisphere, August represents the heart of winter, with chillier temperatures, snow in some regions, and a longing for the summer days to return.

These dad jokes about August reflect these diverse experiences and are shaped by the local context. In the Northern Hemisphere, humor might be found in jokes about the relentless heat, the joys, and mishaps of summer vacations, or the denial associated with the impending end of summer freedom. In contrast, jokes from the Southern Hemisphere may revolve around the cold weather, the envy of those enjoying the summer, or the paradox of associating August with snow instead of sunshine. This diversity in how August is experienced makes for a rich variety of jokes that are not only funny but also connect people across different climates and experiences, making them relatable on a global scale.

Best August Jokes

What is August without gust?

A warning for the month of August and the year 2023.
Your days are numbered.

In a certain part of Africa, the migratory pattern of lions heralds the changing of seasons
The people say that the lions come at the end of August with such regularity, they can begin to prepare for winter on the day they arrive. After all, The Pride comes before the fall.

Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said, “Mommy its time for school!”

What did the Indonesian man suffering from explosive diarrhea say on August 27th, 1883?

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(August Who?)
A gust of wind knocked me over!

Recommended: August Memes

Did you hear about the man who celebrates Halloween in August?
He says, “When you show up at someone’s door at night in August with a mask on, you get better stuff.”

Do you know someone you know was born in August?
Then their father failed No Nut November.

What do you call a slow-learner born at the beginning of August?
A leotard.

Which month really blows?

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(August Who?)
A gust of wind could be the start of a storm!

What do you call a month with a disability?

Why is there gold blowing through the wind?
Because it’s August.

One day in August, Julius Caesar was standing on the balcony in his palace, watching the leaves drop silently from the trees.
He was witnessing The Fall of the Roman Empire.

Larry is having his performance evaluation and his boss is showing his disappointment.
He said, “Larry, you used to be a great worker, but for the past few months I never seem to see you working when I come by your office. What happened?”
Larry looks at the boss and said, “Well, in August they carpeted the hallway…”

What did August say when June claimed that today is the last day of the month?
“Don’t July to me!”

Recommended: July Jokes

What are a school teacher’s three favorite words?
June, July, and August.

What do gymnasts use to season their food in June, July, and August?

What was India’s Independence in August of 1947 like?
Something similar to the class’s lunch break. All children running out.

Which is Will Smith’s least favorite month?

Why does August always get upset at the calendar?
Because it knows that summer is about to “fall” apart!

What’s the humblest month?
Au gosh.

Friend 1: Hey, I once went out on a super hot date!
Friend 2: Oh, really?
Friend 1: Absolutely! It was the month of August and a whopping 100 degrees outside.

Why did the man get a really good deal on a winter jacket at the store this August?
Because he bought it before it was cool.

Who came after Augustus?

Why do pirates hate August month?
Because it doesn’t have Arrrrr in it.

Why did Augustus Caesar name a summer month after himself?
Because just like summer, he was hot stuff in the Roman Empire!

Did you hear about the patient whose doctor gave him two months to live?
He has chosen August and December because he likes summer but doesn’t want to miss Christmas.

Why do parents love August?
Soon their kids will return to school.

Why do cats like August month?
Because it marks the end of the dog days of summer.

What do you call a dog in August?
A hot dog.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there? Fuck…..!
Anne Franks house, August 1944.

What do Santa and Jada have in common?
Both come only once a month. Santa in December and Jada in August.

A little girl asks her mom, “Why am I getting my Christmas presents in August?”
Her mom replies, “Because it’s cheaper than chemotherapy.”

Do you wanna know something positive about August 6, 1945?
Atleast the sun was shining at it’s fullest when the day of the cremating came.

Do you have a funny August joke? Write down your own August puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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