40 Dirty No Nut November Jokes for Adult NNN Pledger

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Jessica Amlee


No Nut November, often abbreviated to NNN, is an annual event and Internet challenge that originated from the online community. Participants, predominantly men, pledge to abstain from any form of sexual release for the entirety of November. It’s seen by many as a test of willpower, a journey of self-control, and, for some, even a quest for enlightenment. From Reddit threads to Twitter hashtags, the challenge garners a mix of sincere participation and plenty of skepticism, making it a hot topic every time November rolls around.

Enter the jokes: a coping mechanism, perhaps, for those brave souls participating, or maybe just a way for the observers to get a few chuckles. The Internet is flooded with memes and jokes about the daily struggles of NNN. Whether you’re partaking in the challenge, cheering from the sidelines, or just utterly bemused by the whole concept, one thing is clear: the challenge might be about restraint, but when it comes to humor, No Nut November holds nothing back!

Adult NNN Jokes

What’s NNN?
Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you!

After No Nut November, a man decided to first shave his pubes and then m*sturbate.
He was done beating around the bush.

What happens when you fail at No Nut November?

Wife: What does that NNN mean?
Husband: Nothin new November, my love.

Did you hear that Jesus failed NNN?
People keep on saying that he’s coming.

Why is No Nut November so goddamn boring?
It is probably the most anticlimactic month.

A few days ago everybody was talking about NNN,
It just didn’t seem that climactic!

Why is Krispy Kreme against NNN?
They’re full of Donuts.

Once upon a time in a quaint little town, there lived a young boy named Timmy who was known far and wide for his adventurous spirit. However, there was one adventure Timmy was yet to embark upon – tasting the legendary peanut, a nut rumored to hold the power of unleashing waves of laughter, but at a perilous cost.
Now, the town had a peculiar tradition known as No Nut November, a time when not a single nut was to be consumed. But Timmy’s curiosity got the better of him, and against the town’s tradition, he bravely decided to taste a peanut on the first of November. As he took a bite, the town gasped, watching him as his face turned as red as a ripe tomato, gasping for breath!
It was a close shave, but Timmy recovered with the town’s quick action. The next day, the headline in the local paper read, “Local boy nearly meets nutty demise; takes No Nut November to a whole new level!”

Have you seen these No Nut November memes?
They’re really getting out of hand.

Recommended: NNN Memes

An oath keeper took NNN to the next level,
He hasn’t nutted all year!

What would be the female equivalent of No Nut November?
Get your alliteration skills on people. So far I’ve come up with D*ldo Denial December or Forbidden Fingering February.

Who will survive No Nut November the longest?
The people with a severe nut allergy.

Why is it difficult to follow NNN?
Well, it gets increasingly ‘hard’ as the days pass by.

It’s No Nut November and we’re accepting bets until 11/11.
“Step right up and ‘come’ on in! Go make a bet on any male candidate. Claim your prize after No Nut November ends., but ONLY if the candidate doesn’t nut. It’s $69 per ticket! Double your winnings if they don’t nut for the next week!”
With seemingly impossible odds, this is a good way to net a nice profit!
One day, a blonde shows up to make a bet. She places her $69 on the table and bets that the candidate won’t nut after the event starts then leaves. The manager, having no clue if or when the man will nut, registers her bet.
When the blonde returns on December 24th to claim the prize, she heads up back to the table to talk to the manager, who is completely clueless about why she decided to return that late, replies to the blonde, “No Nut November has long been over. Why did it take you this long for you to attempt to claim your prize?”
The blonde said, “Because I put my bet on Santa Claus.”
The manager asked, “Why did you bet on Santa?”
The blonde replies, “With that enormous sack of his, clearly he only comes once a year.”

What did King Arthur say when his wife asked if he failed No Nut November?
“Yeah, I Camelot!”

If November is ‘No Nut’ November, what does that make December?
The cumming month.

What did Freddie Mercury say when he was informed about NNN?
“Nutting really matters to me.”

Recommended: Best November Jokes

Why are people going on about no nut November?
It’s like any other month if you are married.

Have you ever watched a “No Nut November” themed midget p*rn?
There isn’t a single shortcoming.

Why did the squirrel fall dead from the tree?
Because it’s No Nut November.

Once, in a bustling city, there lived a curious gardener named Betty who had a peculiar fondness for pistachios. As November approached, she heard whispers about a strange tradition called No Nut November. Intrigued and a bit rebellious, Betty decided that she would not adhere to such nutty traditions, and on a fine November morning, she picked a plump pistachio from her garden.
With a heart full of anticipation and a shell cracker in hand, she cracked open the shell, only to find it empty! Astonished, she burst into laughter realizing that even Mother Nature had a sense of humor, participating in No Nut November in her own whimsical way!

Why can’t you beat No Nut November?
Cause if you beat it you lose.

What is another name for NNN?
Virgin Pride Month.

What is a squirrel’s least favorite time of year?
No Nut November.

How do crypto traders call No Nut November?
HODL it.

What happens if a soldier fails No Nut November because of a wet dream instead of masturbation?
They are honorably discharged.

Why does the snow come in December?
Because no nut November just ended.

Rose’s are red,
Nothing lasts forever,
You’re the reason. I lost No Nut November.

What was lost inside the Thanksgiving turkey?
My 24 day NNN streak.

Why is November a hard time for Indian pedophiles?
They are stuck in a dilemma between celebrating No Nut November and Children’s Day.

How do optimists see NNN?
Nonstop Nut November.

Why is No Nut November like Nazi?
People who claim to follow it actually didn’t follow it!

What’s the best part about being castrated?
You can win both No Nut November and Destroy Dick December.

Do you have a dirty No Nut November joke? Write down your own adult puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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