Pandas, those adorable, bamboo-munching bears, are nature’s equivalent of a lazy Sunday. Clad in what looks like a fur-made tuxedo, they’ve mastered the art of looking effortlessly charming while doing, well, almost nothing. These cuddly creatures spend most of their day chomping on bamboo, lounging around, and occasionally rolling down a hill just for the fun of it. It’s like they’re perpetually at a sleepover party where the dress code is black and white, and the main activity is snacking. Their laid-back lifestyle and endearing clumsiness make them the poster animals for taking it easy and enjoying the simple things in life. Amidst their peaceful, leaf-eating existence, pandas provide the perfect setup for some good-natured humor, setting the stage for the quirky world of panda jokes.
Panda jokes are a playful celebration of these bears’ unique charm, poking fun at their lazy habits and perpetually surprised expressions. Imagine a panda trying to start a fitness routine, only to end up napping next to the treadmill with a stalk of bamboo. These jokes encapsulate the humorous side of a panda’s life, turning their daily lounging and bamboo feasts into a source of laughter. It’s like watching a silent comedy, where the star is a bear with an endless appetite for bamboo and naps. Panda jokes remind us not to take life too seriously and that sometimes, the key to happiness is just a cozy spot and an endless supply of snacks. They’re a gentle nudge to embrace our inner panda, to relax, and to find joy in the little things – even if that just means an extra hour in bed.
Best Panda Jokes
What do exploding pandas eat?
Bamboom.
What do you need to start a zoo?
At least two pandas, a grizzly, and three polars. That’s the bear minimum.
Yo mama so fat, she went camping and the pandas had to hide their bamboos.
How do you confuse a panda?
You bamboo-zle it.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Panda.
(Panda who?)
Panda knocking, open up and let me in!
Why can’t Panda bears play among us?
Red is always the imposter.
What kind of socks do Panda bears wear?
None, they have bear feet.
What are the two oldest animals on Earth?
The Zebra and the Panda. Because we see them in black and white.
What happens when Po from kung fu panda acts like a jerk?
He becomes a skadouchebag.
Do you know that people say that we should be preserving endangered species?
But if you offer someone a jar of your pickled panda, they’ll lose their sh*t.
What do you call a male panda?
Amanda.
Why should one be careful when hanging out with pandas that have anger issues?
They’re prone to going bear-serk.
What did the panda keep as a pet?
A bear-ded dragon.
What do you get when you cross a Leopoard with a Panda?
Fired from the zoo.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Panda.
(Panda who?)
Panda your way, I’ll panda mine, and we’ll meet at the bamboo forest!
What do you need to spell Panda?
All you need is, P and A.
What do you call a group of pandas in confusion and creating chaos?
Panda-monium.
What’s a panda’s favorite cooking utensil?
A pan.. duh?
A panda slept with a prostitute last night. When he prepares to leave the following day, the prostitute yells after him, “Hey, aren’t you going to pay me?”
When the panda appears perplexed, she throws a dictionary at him and instructs him to look up ‘prostitute.’
The definition reads, ‘A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay. ‘
The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up ‘panda.’
The definition reads, ‘An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.’
What do you call a panda fetus?
The bear minimum.
Who would be the mascot against racism?
A panda. He’s black, he’s white and he’s Asi*n!
Recommended: Asi*n Jokes
What common enemy do the Hulk and Kung Fu Panda share?
Stairs.
What do you call a panda with no teeth?
A gummy Bear.
How are pandas made?
You punch a polar bear in the eyes.
What do you call a bear that jumps, but never lands?
A Peter Panda.
What’s a panda’s favorite band?
The Bearnaked Ladies.
Waiter: How would you like your steak, sir?
Customer: Rare.
Waiter: You’re in luck, today’s special is panda.
Why is a panda the opposite of a redneck?
Because he’s a vegetarian and refuses to breed.
What do you call a group of pandas that make music?
Bandas.
What do a zoo owner and a Python data analyst have in common?
They both import pandas.
Why Kung Fu Panda shouldn’t have been set in China?
He really belongs in Poland.
What’s a panda’s biggest life regret?
Never had a selfie in color.
What’s a Panda’s favorite form of literature?
Po-ems.
Why did the teenage panda get detention every day?
Because she always came to school with a bear midriff.
A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a platter of bamboo.
He jumps up onto the table after finishing his dinner, pulls out two Glock 45s, and unloads both magazines, blasting everything in sight.
He drops the guns and walks towards the door when they are empty.
“Hello!” exclaims the bartender from behind the bar. What the hell, man?”
The panda yells back at the bartender, “Hey, I’m a Panda! Look it up!”
The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda, “A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats bamboo shoots and leaves.”
What do pandas say on Halloween?
Bam-BOO!
Why do panda bears keep buying bamboo?
They just like the stock!
What’s the difference between a goat and a panda?
A goat is h*rny.
Why did the Python data scientist get arrested at customs?
She was caught trying to import pandas!
What do pandas drink?
Bambooze.
Yo mama so black, fat, and hairy that she had sex with a white boy and gave birth to a panda bear.
What’s black and white and red all over?
Half a panda.
Why are pandas ashamed when they’re not alone?
Because a group of them is an embarrassment!
What do you call a thoughtful panda?
A ponda.
What’s the difference between pandas and children?
We care when pandas get shot.
Recommended: Sloth Jokes
Do you know the similarity between furries and pandas?
Both of them should have been exterminated a long time ago.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite expendable organ?
The panda-creas!
What did the panda say when he was forced out of his natural habitat?
“This is un- BEAR-able.”
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A panda stuck in a revolving door.
Why do pandas make awful boyfriends?
Because he only eats shoots and leaves.
Do you have a funny Panda joke? Post your own Panda puns in the comment section below!
What do you call a group of pandas on a tour bus?
A bamboo-zled sightseeing crew!