50 Funny Sloth Jokes Every Animal Lover Will Adore

Funny Sloth Jokes on Lazy Animal
Funny Sloth Jokes

Hailing from the tropical rainforests of Central and South America, sloths are the poster children for leisurely living. These tree-dwelling mammals are known for their deliberate movements, often seeming like they’ve mastered the ancient art of “taking it easy.” With their permanent, endearing smiles and unhurried demeanors, sloths have captivated the hearts of many, often serving as adorable reminders that sometimes, it’s okay to take things slow. After all, while the rest of the animal kingdom is in a frenzied hustle, the sloth casually munches on leaves, blinks, and occasionally descends its tree once a week for a restroom break.

And where there’s a quirky animal behavior, there’s bound to be a reservoir of jokes inspired by it. Sloth jokes, with their laid-back punchlines, are a hit at gatherings and online forums. “Why did the sloth get a job in tech? He was great at ‘hanging’ around in the cloud!” or “How do sloths cheer for their favorite sports teams? Slooooooowly!” These lighthearted dad jokes playfully embrace the sloth’s unhurried lifestyle, reminding us that in a world that often feels like it’s racing ahead, there’s humor to be found in taking one’s sweet, sweet time.

Best Sloth Jokes

What did Sloth say when he found gold?

What is a sloth’s favorite form of exercise?
Running late.

What kind of exercise do sloths do?

Yo mama so slow, she got lapped by a sloth.

How do you call a series of killings committed by a sloth?

What’s the favorite song of sloths?
“Don’t Hurry, Be Happy!”

What do you call a slot machine that spins really slow?
A sloth machine.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common?
Both hang from the tree.

If laziness was an Olympic sport.
Sloths would come in fourth so they wouldn’t have to crawl up to the podium.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
The interrupting sloth.
(The interrupting sloth who?)

Why are sloths so fascinating?
You’ll almost always find one InTreeResting.

What is the name of Jay-Z’s pet sloth?

What do you call an intelligent sloth?
Slo-mo sapiens.

Yo mama so lazy, her patronus is a sloth.

People shouldn’t look down on sloths.
C’mon, they haven’t done anything!

How did the sloth become President of the tree?
He slept his way to the top.

Why did the sloths vote to keep the coal mines open?
Because when it comes to energy they’re conservative.

A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day.
A gang of snails approaches him and beats him up. Herman is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant’s office.
“What happened to you? the officer asks. “A gang of snails beat me up,” Herman replied. “Can you describe what they looked like?”
“I don’t know,” the sloth says. “It all happened so fast.”

What do you call a slow sloth?
A sloth.

Ever heard the one about the sloth crossing the road?
Ah never mind, it’d take too long.

What did the Tortoise say when she was dating the Sloth?
“Let’s taake it sloooooow.”

What did the sloth wear to the swimming pool?
His speedo.

What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band?
The Slowclimbers.

A lion, a zebra, and a sloth walk into a gym.
The personal trainer approaches them and asks, “What are your fitness goals?” The lion replies, “I want to improve my speed and agility for hunting.” The zebra says, “I’d like to work on my endurance to outrun predators.”
The sloth sighs, “I just need to learn to hang in there!”

What did the one sloth say to the other sloth?
No idea. He hasn’t gotten to the punchline yet.

Did you hear that Sloths never kiss on the first date?
They take it slow.

A sloth walks into a bar
The bartender says you better order soon. The last call is in 3 hours.

What is a three toed sloth’s favorite kind of chip?

A sloth walks into a bar.
When he gets to the counter, he tells the bartender, “I’ll take… a club soda.”
The bartender says, “Whats with the long paws?”

If animals could talk, who would be the best listener?
A sloth, he couldn’t get a word in.

How does a sloth survive in the wild?

What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds.

A sloth goes to a bar to get drunk.
After a long time and many drinks, the bartender asks the sloth why he is there.
The sloth replies, “I’m depressed, my wife is leaving me. I bet she’s already halfway through the kitchen.”

What’s the problem with Sloth jokes?
They are okay but they have a really slow build up.

Why did the sloth cross the road?
Can’t say cause it hasn’t finished yet.

Why did the sloth get kicked off the team?
He only showed up for the slowdown!

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Sloth who?)
Sloooooooth-ing to tell you… take your time, I’ll wait!

Why did the sloth get a job at the computer store?
He was great at pressing the pause button!

Why are sloths so good at giving handjobs?
They aren’t in a hurry.

Why did the sloth break up with the cheetah?
She was always in a hurry!

What did the sloth order at the fast-food restaurant?
A salad with extra slow dressing.

Why did the sloth bring a pillow to the party?
Just in case he felt like taking a nap!

How did the sloth feel after drinking coffee?
Still sleepy.

Why don’t sloths make good detectives?
Because they always hang around the same spot!

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What do sloths and depressed people have in common?
They both like to hang from trees.

What do you call a gay sloth?

A sloth got robbed by three turtles.
When the cops asked him what happened the sloth said, “It. all. happened. so. fast.”

What is a sloth’s favorite sex position?
The slow poke.

What’s a sloth’s favorite part of watching p*rn?

Do you have a funny sloth joke? Write down your own puns in the comment section below!

What do you think?

Written by Jessica Amlee

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Known for her sharp wit and clever wordplay, Jessica has authored several popular joke books. A regular at stand-up comedy clubs, she never fails to leave her audience in stitches. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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