Pizza is that magical circle of joy that somehow turns every bad day into a delicious one. It’s got the power to make people forget their diet plans, share slices with friends, and argue endlessly about toppings. Whether it’s thin crust, deep dish, or something in between, pizza never fails to show up like a superhero covered in cheese. It’s warm, comforting, and slightly messy just like the best kind of fun.
Pizza jokes come from that same cheesy happiness, sprinkled with a bit of silliness. They’re the kind of jokes that make you roll your eyes while secretly laughing inside. People love them because pizza already makes everyone smile. Add a joke, and suddenly it’s double the laughter. It’s like the crust and the topping of humor coming together perfectly. They are simple, tasty, and hard to resist.
Best Pizza Jokes
Mr Kingsley taught his kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on what movie to watch and pizza to order
And then he picked the movie and pizza he wanted because he’s the one with the money.
What do you call a Satanist who only eats low-carb pizza?
ʇsnɹɔ-ᴉʇu∀ ǝɥ┴
Burnt Hawaiian pizza today..
Should have cooked it at aloha temperature.
What’s green and yellow and full of pizza?
Teenage mutant ninja turtle
A pizza walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
How does a Mexican cut a pizza?
With little caesars.
The volume of a pizza with thickness a and radius z is
pi * z * z * a
Did you hear about the lobster that got the job at Pizza Hut?
He works in the crust station.
Yo mama house so small, she ordered a large pizza and had to eat it outside.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Sending olive my prayers to the family. His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it. You never sausage a tragic thing.
How do you differentiate left and right sides on a pizza?
It’s all right because nothing is left of the pizza!
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say as he took the last slice of pizza?
“Lasta Da Pizza… Baby!”
Did you hear about the Pizza Chef with no driver’s license?
He could dish it out but he couldn’t take it.
A new CEO takes over at a struggling company and decides to get rid of all the slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. He can’t believe this guy would just stand around on the job. The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, “What are you doing here?” “I’m just waiting to get paid,” responds the man. Furious, the CEO asks “How much money do you make a week?” A little surprised, the young fellow replies, “I make about $300 a week. Why?” The CEO quickly gets out his checkbook, hands the guy a check made out to cash for $1,200 and says, “Here’s four weeks’ pay, now get out and don’t come back.” The man puts the check in his pocket and promptly walks out.
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looks around the room and asks, “Does anyone want to tell me what just happened here?”
From across the room comes a voice, “Yeah, you just tipped the pizza delivery guy $1,200.”
How do you get a philosophy major off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
What happens when you eat 3.14 slices of pizza?
You get really full.
Old age is a thing.. Last night, Steve was in bed for 20 minutes when he heard the pizza guy cough.
Then he remembered he had come to his room for his wallet.
What kind of eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie?
That’s a Moray.
A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill.
He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. He’s negative for COVID, Ebola, Malaria, and pretty much all the recognizable infectious diseases.
The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.
“This is your doctor. We’ve got the results back from your battery of tests, and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty and rare virus that is highly contagious and is frequently fatal.”
“Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, Doctor?”
“Well, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and quesadillas.”
“Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully.
The doctor replied, “No… but it’s the only food we can slide under the door.”
What happens when you travel back in time and kill the man who invented pizza?
A chain of Dominoes is never started.
Thank God we don’t need to hunt for food anymore…
I mean, I have no idea where pizzas live in the wild.
Yo mama so fat and stupid, the doctor told her she needed to “fast”, so she ate 2 large pizzas in under 20 seconds.
I called my wife and told her that I’ll pick up pizza and coke on the way back from work. But it seems she was not happy.
She still regrets letting me name the kids.
Recommended: Adult Pizza Jokes
What does an angry customer have in common with a cheese pizza?
They both come plain.
If my ex were a pizza, what kind of pizza would she be?
A pizza sh*t!
A customer in an Italian restaurant is so pleased with his meal that he insists on telling the chef personally. The owner proudly leads him into the kitchen. “Your pizza is superb,” the customer tells the chef. “I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there.”
“Naturally,” the chef says. “Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported!”
What’s the easiest way to pay a philosophy major?
Open the door, hand him the cash, and take the pizza.
Today, a friend of mine had to go to the hospital because he ate a pizza.
My pizza.
Wife: “Did you eat the last pizza in the freezer?”
Husband: “Nah, I ate it in the living room.”
What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, occasionally has 12 letters, always has 6 letters, and never has 5 letters.
But nothing tops a cheese pizza.
Walter White decided to buy a pizza for his son.
Walter: “Hey, son, I bought you a pizza so you can share it with your friends.”
Flynn: “Thanks dad, how much do I owe you?”
Walter: “It’s on the house.”
When we make pizza at home, it’s my wife’s job to shred the cheese.
She’s the gratist.
Recommended: BBQ Jokes
How do you make a musician’s car more aerodynamic?
You take the pizza delivery sign off.
Yo mama so fat, people call her: Jabba the pizza hut.
Why does a 16-inch vegetarian pizza give you a lot more pizza than a 16-inch pepperoni?
Because it’s mushroomier.
What’s Pizza’s favorite song?
Another one bites the crust!
Doctor: “I think you should avoid eating anything fatty.”
Patient: “Like what? Pizzas? Hamburgers?”
Doctor: “No, fatty. Don’t eat at all.”
What’s the difference between a pizza and a pizza joke?
Pizza jokes can’t be topped!
How do Muslims like to make their pizzas spicy?
They add halalapeño.
What’s Lil Wayne’s favorite pizza?
Lil Siezures!
Why don’t mathematicians eat pizza?
Because even half a slice is pie over ate.
Recommended: French Fry Jokes
An American businessman goes to India on a business trip, but he doesn’t like Indian food.
So he asks the concierge at his hotel if there’s any place around where he can get American food.
The concierge tells him he’s in luck; there’s a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.
Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up at the door with the pizza. The businessman takes the pizza and starts sneezing uncontrollably.
He asks the deliveryman, “What the heck did you put on this pizza?”
The delivery man bows deeply and says, “We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only.”
Why did Medusa order pizza?
Her boyfriend was stoned.
What’s the easiest way to burn 1000 calories?
Leave the pizza in the oven.
Yo mama so fat, she makes pizza by body slamming the dough.
What do you call a non-binary pizza chain?
Little Xe/Xer’s.
What did one Italian say to another when fighting?
“You wanna pizza me?”
The Buddha walks into a pizza joint and says, “Make me one with everything.”
The cashier says, “That’ll be $12.50.”
The Buddha gives him a twenty and holds out his hand for the change.
The cashier shakes his head, smiles, and says, “Change must come from within.”
What is Pac-Man’s least favorite pizza topping?
0lives.
How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?
He ate pizza before it was cool.
Recommended: Sandwich Jokes
Yo mama teeth so crooked, she bites into a pizza box to make puzzle pieces.
Diet pizza is the same as regular pizza.
You just have it delivered to the wrong address.
The funniest part of any pizza joke…
…is the delivery.
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr. Smith asked: “What is the usual tip?”
“Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.”
“Is that so?” snorted Mr. Smith. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.”
“Thanks,” replied the youth, “I’ll put this in my school fund.”
“What are you studying in school?” asked Larry.
The lad smiled and said, “Applied psychology.”
I have a joke about pizza and a broken pencil.
Unfortunately, it’s cheesy and pointless.
Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than the police do?
Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly.
“Oh damn, shots fired!” But not by the pizza guy.
What type of person doesn’t like Pizza?
A WeirDOUGH.
What do you call a dog who makes pizzas for other dogs?
Pizza Mutt.
Jordan walked up to the counter at Little Napoli to pick up the large pepperoni pizza he’d ordered.
The man at the counter asked him if he wanted it cut into 6 or 8 slices.
Jordan said, “Better make it 6: I don’t think I can eat 8.”
Recommended: Hot Dog Jokes
Who wants a plate for their pizza?
Speak now or forever hold your piece.
What’s the relationship between people buying pizza and people selling it?
They both want each other’s dough.
Why did the comedian get his pizza for free?
…
…
…
…
(checks watch)
…
…
…
…the delivery was late.
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind it’s too cheesy.
What’s the world’s saddest pizza?
“Pepperlonely.”
Seven days without pizza…
Makes one weak.
A father is asking his 12-year-old son if he has any idea who he wants to be when he grows up.
The kid thinks for a second, and then says: “I want to be a pool maintenance guy… or a gardener … or a plumber… or a pizza delivery guy.”
The father yells to his wife, “I think he found that old tape.”
What kind of pizza do horses like to eat?
Pepperoneigh.
What’s Santa’s favorite pizza?
One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even.
Recommended: Cheese Jokes
What is the name of a pizza restaurant two beavers own?
DAM good pizza!
Know why venison is never put on pizza?
It’d be too doe-y.
What’s a doggo’s favorite pizza topping?
Pupperoni.
What pizza place always screws up your order?
Dom-oh-noes.
Do you have a funny Pizza Joke? Write down your best jokes in the comment section below!
I have a terrible food allergy, every time I eat 5 pizzas my stomach just balloons!
I’m not saying my house is small, but when I order a large pizza I have to eat it outside.