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100 Porn Jokes To Get You In The Mood

Porn Jokes For Adults
Best Porn Jokes

Jokes are one of the most wonderful and entertaining aspects of online culture, and they come in a variety of forms. Given the abundance of porn available on the internet, it is not surprising that there are numerous great porn jokes that can be found while engaging in a typical browsing session. We want to celebrate the fact that there have been some funny jokes over the years.

You have been warned; if you are in a meeting or sitting next to a child, stop scrolling now. Alternatively, standing on a crowded train. Or perhaps in church. Or under the age of 18. (As if anyone has ever been stopped by that.)

While reading porn jokes isn’t necessarily NSFW, we believe it’s probably for the best that you never have to explain why you’re laughing so hard.

Funny Porn Jokes 

What did the wife say when she walked on her husband switching to a fishing channel from porn?

“You should stay on the porn channel as you know how to fish.”


Why are jokes in porn so hard to get?

They’re usually tongue in chick.


Why was the pornstar turned down from the job interview?

For coming half an hour early.


Why does a girl prefer Russian porn?

Because Russian porn gets them Soviet.


How is Tinder the opposite of porn ads?

There are actually tons of hot singles in your area, but none of them are interested in you.


After buying a porn DVD, why could you only see a dark image of some fat cunt sitting there holding his cock?

Your telly wasn’t on.


Why did the guy suddenly stop and didn’t move during sex?

He said that he saw that on PornHub, called buffering.


If half of the men watch porn daily then what does the other half do?

Waiting for their Internet Provider to fix the connection issues.


What’s wrong with your girlfriend being a pornstar?

She’s going to be really pissed when she finds out.


What happened to the guy who accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker?

Later, he emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.


How did one know that their neighbor obviously doesn’t watch any porn?

She asked him to come to fix her sink, he had been here for an hour and still fixing the damn sink.


What do you do with a compressed folder of porn?

Unzip.


How do you know men are great at multi-tasking?

Ever tried jerking off, watching porn, and keeping an eye on the door for intruders at the same time?!


Did you hear about the man who tried to find a porn director willing to hire him as a performer?

He failed. Apparently, he didn’t look hard enough.


Who is the second most porn-addicted person in the world?

Your FBI-Agent.


“This is so unrealistic,” the wife complained as she watched porn with her husband.

He replied, “Just because you’re unwilling to try new things doesn’t mean everyone else is.”

“It’s just the plumbers who come to our house have tiny dicks,” she clarified.


Recommended: Small Dick Jokes


Did you hear they banned all porn from the internet?

Don’t know what this world is cumming to.


Why are people avoiding German porn?

They want to train themselves to have a Hans-free orgasm.


What are porn stars paid?

Income.


Why did PornHub remove your sex tape?

They told you to put it on Instagram Reels.


Why did the guy bury his best porn in a time capsule?

For the generations to come.


What’s the difference between a porn addict and a pickpocket?

One snatches watches.


How do you know your single friends hate online porn?

Every night they lay down in bed shaking their fist at it.


Pizza guy: Your total is $26.34.

Gir: I can’t afford that.

Pizza guy: Well, you’ll have to pay some other way.

Girl: [takes out wallet] Wait I forgot I had 30 dollars.

Porn director: Cut! What the fuck are you doing?!


What is the problem with origami porn channel?

Unfortunately, it’s paper view.


Why do some don’t like foot porn at first?

They usually get off on the wrong foot.


What is the best thing about Japanese porn?

They censor it so you can watch it with your family.


Did you hear about the guy who tried VR porn?

It’s great and immersive. Infact, he completely forgot that he was at Starbucks.


How is learning about sex by watching porn similar to learning to drive by watching Fast and Furious?

It’s angrier, quicker, and has much more to do with family than real life.


How is the porn industry different from every other career?

It’s the only job where you have to stay late if you come early.


A father purchases a lie detector that slaps people who lie. He decided to put it to the test over dinner one night.

The father inquires of his son as to what he did that afternoon. “I just did some homework,” the son responds. The robot slaps the kid. The son then says, “All right, all right. I was watching a movie at a friend’s house.”

“What movie were you watching?” Dad inquires. “Finding Nemo,” the son responds. Again, the robot slaps the kid. “All right, all right,” he says. We had been watching porn.”

“What?!?” exclaimed Dad. “I had no idea what porn was when I was your age.” This time, the robot slaps the father.

“Wow,” Mom exclaims, laughing. He is, without a doubt, your son.”

The robot slaps the mother.


How do you end any further conversation with 90% of men who start with “You look familiar..?”

Tell them you used to do a lot of gay porn.


What do Disney and the porn industry have in common?

They both hire adults that look like teenagers.


What kind of porn do roosters watch?

Hen-tai.


How is working in porn for the free sex similar to working at Chipotle for the free burritos?

Yeah, you’re getting paid, but it destroys your asshole


What does a porn star do to stay calm on set?

Pictures everyone in their underwear.


What do politicians and porn stars have most in common?

They’re experts at switching positions in front of the camera.


Recommended: Election Jokes


How are elections similar to watching porn?

The hype was fun but when it’s over people are disgusted by what they are watching.


One night, a man goes to a hotel to book a room. “Hello, I’d like a single room for the night.” “Here’s one of our best rooms, sir. Room 13, ” says the receptionist as he hands him the key

The man goes upstairs, takes a shower, and then crawls into bed. At around 2:00 a.m., two stunning naked women enter and slip under the covers. When he realizes what is going on, he begins screwing them both. He can’t believe what’s going on. He goes downstairs to settle the bill the next morning, still surprised by the events of the previous night. “How was your room, sir?” the receptionist inquires. “Excellent, and I will return. What am I supposed to pay you? “enquires the man. “Well. Actually, sir, we’re running a promotion. Not only are you not required to pay, but we also give you $10 as a welcome gift “says the receptionist “What?” exclaims the man, surprised. “Wow, that’s incredible.” He takes the ten-dollar bill and walks away, debating whether or not his friends will believe him.

Needless to say, he’s told all of his friends and neighbors about room 13 and the incredible night of passion after a few days. The following week, one of his friends goes to look at the room. “Please, room 13.” “Sure, sir, here’s your key.” After he goes to bed, three extremely horny girls get in bed at the same time, 2 o’clock, and screw his brains out. He not only does not have to pay the next morning, but he also receives $10. After a month, everyone knows about this hotel, particularly room 13. Everyone who stays in Room 13 receives the same treatment: a good screw and a ten-dollar bill.

The story eventually reaches the President. The President decides to investigate the story for himself. He goes to the hotel and requests room 13. He takes the keys and heads upstairs. He goes to bed after a few drinks, waiting for the naked girls to appear. Indeed, at around 2:00 a.m., two naked ladies enter the room. They’re as horny and wild as everything else the President has heard. The President pulls out his pecker and screws both of them all night. This is the most memorable night of his life.

He goes to reception the next morning, and when he asks how much the bill is, the receptionist says, “There is nothing to pay, sir. In fact, we are running an introductory offer. As a welcome gift, please accept $50.” Curious, the President approaches the receptionist and inquires, “That’s interesting. Everyone else who comes here receives a $10 reward. Why am I getting $50?” “Well, sir,” the receptionist says. “This is the first time we’ve filmed a pornographic film starring the President!”


What’s the difference between a single man and a married man?

One spends his nights alone watching porn, being miserable. And the other one’s single.


Why some people are into incest porn?

Because taste is relative.


How do we know that Porn stars are poorer than we think?

When is the last time you saw one able to even afford a pizza?!


What’s missing at the end of every porn DVDs?

Gag Reels.


What’s the difference between how daredevils and porn actresses become famous?

Daredevils get famous because of their cunning stunts.


A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk.

He says to the receptionist, “I hope the porn is disabled.”

The guy at the desk replies, “It’s just regular porn you sick fuck.”


What’s a porn star’s favorite drink?

7up in cider.


Why is amputee not for everyone?

Because something is missing.


Recommended: No Arms And No Legs Jokes


What’s a ghost’s favorite type of porn?

Boookakke!


Why shouldn’t you judge someone for watching midget porn?

We all have our shortcomings.


What do you call those black and white movies where nobody speaks? 

Interracial porn.


Why do Jews watch porn backwards?

Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back.


Which day there are more searches for “stuffing” on Google than on PornHub?

Thanksgiving.


Friend: Why are you so sad?

Another friend: I was watching porn and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

Friend: Ok I see, but is that really such a big deal?

Another friend: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.


What does the porn director say to wrap up a gangbang scene?

“It was a great shoot thank you all for coming”


What’s the most annoying thing about carpenter porn?

The ads about hot shingles in your area.


The boss walked straight up to his employee’s desk as he was watching porn and said, “Do you think I pay people to do that?”

“Probably,” the employee replied, “You’re not exactly the best-looking bloke in the world.”


Why do porn stars hate driving?

Because people always pull out infront of them.


What is Stephan Hawking’s favorite porn genre?

Ebony. The dude loves black holes.


“How can you watch porn but still claim you love only me?” a wife asked.

“The same way I watch Formula 1 the whole weekend but still drive my 2002 Toyota Camry every day,” replied his husband.


Recommended: Racing Jokes


What do you call a thousand terabytes of child porn?

A pedobyte.


How is the porn involving grammar teacher?

It is fucking in tense.

How is the porn at a campsite?

It is fucking in tents.

How is porn involved with nine other people?

It was fucking in tens.


What’s the difference between a fitness blog and a porn site?

One’s all about proteins, whilst the other is more about amateur teens.


How is playing Dark Souls similar to watching porn?

There’s no story you just want to beat it.


What do you call a morgue that doubles as a porn set?

A creamatorium.


What kind of porn do bankers watch?

Trans action.


What do fairy tales, Disney movies, and porn have in common?

Unrealistic stepmother depictions.


What did Julius Caesar say after watching porn?

Veni vidi veni.


How come you never see any Albino porn?

Because you wouldn’t know when it was over.


The midwife asks a young lady in the maternity ward if she wants her husband to be present at her child’s birth.

“I’m afraid I’m not married,” she says. “Okay, do you have a boyfriend?” the Midwife inquires. “I don’t have a boyfriend either.”

“So, do you have a partner?” “No, I’m not married to anyone.” “I’m going to have my baby on my own.”

The midwife speaks to the young woman again after the birth. “You have a healthy, bouncing baby girl, but before you see her, I must warn you that she is black.”

“Oh, I’m very sorry,” the midwife says, “that’s really none of my business, and I’m sorry I have to ask you these awkward questions, but I also have to tell you that the baby has blonde hair.” “Well, yes,” the girl responds again, “you see, the co-star in the film was this Swedish guy.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the midwife says again, “that’s really none of my business, and I hate to pry any further, but your baby has slanted eyes as well.” “Yes,” the girl continues, “there was a little Chinese man in the movie as well, I really had no choice.”

At this point, the midwife apologises once more, collects the baby, and hands her over to the girl, who immediately slaps the baby on the butt.

When the baby begins to cry, the mother exclaims, “Thank God for that!”

“What exactly do you mean?” “The midwife is taken aback.

“Well,” the relieved girl says, “I had this horrible feeling she was going to bark…”


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Why do Christians watch porn backward?

So they can wait for the second cumming.


What do you call an audiophile who is into furry porn and BDSM?

A subwoofer.


What would Bill gates’s porn star name be?

Microsoft.


What’s the name of Greece’s most famous porn star?

Testicles.


How can you tell a male porn star at a petrol station?

He pulls the nozzle out just before the tank is full and sprays the last bit over the windscreen and bonnet.


What is the alternative for pornstars for LinkedIn?

FilledIn.


Why are porn studios never renovated?

All the walls are load-bearing.


A boyfriend had a talk about porn with his girlfriend.

“I don’t get porn, why would you watch 2 people have sex?” she asked.

The boyfriend replied, “Two?” The girlfriend looks surprised and then the boyfriend adds “People?”


Why are male porn stars such valued employees?

Because they are always hard at work.


Recommended: Dirty Jokes


What do porn and Great Britain have in common?

BBC.


How is porn a lot similar to Professional wrestling?

All of it is exciting at first, and it’s great to watch when you’re free, but when you know how much of it is fake, it gets boring fast.


Did you hear what they said about the thalidomide porn star?

He had an arm like a baby’s cock.


Did you hear about the porn star’s favorite classic novel?

It’s entitled “Catch Her In The Eye.”


What do pornstars and Al Qaeda have in common?

They’re both great at blowjobs.


How do architects, engineers and male pornstars gain fame?

Through their erections.


A farmer has an impotent bull.

After months of desperation and trying everything, he seeks the assistance of another farmer, who instructs him to show the bull some hardcore porn. He has nothing to lose, despite the idiotic advice. He installs a projector in the barn and showers the bull with porn for several days, then exposes him to the cows.

Sure enough, the bull jumps on the first cow he sees and begins humping like a champ as the farmer watches in delight, which quickly turns to horror as the bull pulls out and begins to cum all over the cow’s face.


Recommended: Farming Jokes


What’s a scarecrow’s favorite type of porn?

Hard corn.


What does an IT guy call his porn folder?

His Hard Drive.


Where can you watch vampire porn?

Onlyfangs.com.


Does anyone know of a cure for porn addiction?

Some have tried fucking everything!


Where do Porn Directors get their Burgers?

In-N-Out.


What do gay pornstars eat for dessert?

Semen rolls.


What do pornstars say after a shoot?

“It’s a business doing pleasure with you.”


A mom decides to clean her son’s room.

Under his bed, she finds a large collection of BDSM porn. Disturbed and not sure what to do she goes to her husband. “What should we do about this?” she asks.

He replied, “Well we sure as hell can’t spank him!”


What do laundromats, truck drivers, and porn stars all have in common?

They all get paid by the load


Did you hear about the new contemporary porn museum they opened?

It’s called The Stepsonian.


How did the pornstar make dill bread?

With a Dill Dough.


Recommended: Johnny Sins Memes


Why did the blind pornstar get pregnant?

She didn’t see it coming.


What happens when a Pornstar dies while shooting porn?

The Genre changes.


Why does god love pornstars so much?

Because they say his name more than his sons.


Fapping or laughing, these extra spicy porn puns will bring a smile to your face. Is that still insufficient? Comment below with your funniest porn jokes.

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