Sunburn is what happens when your skin throws a tantrum after too much fun in the sun. It’s like your body’s way of saying, “Hey, remember me? The one you forgot to slather in sunscreen?” This red badge of outdoor adventures is a sizzling reminder of that time you decided to brave the beach or the park without proper protection. Sunburns range from a gentle pink, a subtle hint of ‘oops’, to a lobster red, a loud declaration of ‘I’ve battled the sun and lost.’ They turn us into walking, talking human thermometers, our skin color indicating just how much fun – or trouble – we’ve had under the sun. And in this world of fiery skin and aloe vera remedies, sunburn jokes find their sizzling spot.
Sunburn jokes are like aloe vera for the soul, a soothing balm of humor for that crispy feeling. These jokes take the ‘ouch’ out of sunburn and replace it with ‘haha’. Sunburn jokes remind us that while we all might be a bit red-faced from our time in the sun, we can still laugh at our collective, slightly scorched, human experience. They’re a reminder to lather up next time, because while the sunburn might fade, the memories (and the jokes) will last a lot longer.
Best Sunburn Jokes
Why do sunburned people get more dates?
Because they’re a peeling.
What did Adele say when she needed to treat the sunburn on her back?
“Aloe on the other side.”
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
Chuck Norris with a sunburn.
What did they say to the state leader after getting sunburned during a trip to England?
“Aloe Governor!”
A visitor from out of state fell asleep on the California beach for several hours and received a terrible sunburn specifically, to his upper legs. He went to the hospital and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, “What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?”
The doctor replied, “Oh, it won’t do anything for his condition,”… “But it’ll keep the sheets off his legs.”
Why didn’t the daughter get a sunburn?
She can’t you see, she is a daughter and not a son.
Here’s a funny pickup line.
Do you have a sunburn?
Because I think your face is appealing.
Recommended: Solar Eclipse Jokes
What do you call a chicken from Kentucky with sunburn?
KFC.
What do you call a penny with sunburn?
A red cent.
What did the sunburnt manatee say?
“Man a tee shirt would be nice.”
What do you call a librarian with a sunburn?
Well red.
A husband sunbathes on a nudist beach and gets a sunburn on his weenie. The same evening he goes to the doctor for some treatment.
His doctor advises him to soak it in a saucer of milk for an hour every day for a week to help. That night, he decides to give it a shot.
When his wife returns home, she catches him with his dick in a glass of milk and says “Oh! I have always wondered how you reloaded those things.”
What do you call a sunburned pig?
Rare.
What does a pig apply to its nose to prevent sunburn?
Oinkment.
Why didn’t the Gang members get sunburned?
Since wherever they went was really shady.
Recommended: Summer Jokes
What does a sunburned Hawaiian comic put on?
Aloe-Ha!
At the beach, a man was sunbathing naked. He wore a hat over his privates for decorum and to keep them from becoming burnt.
A woman goes by, snickering, and says, “If you were a gentleman, you’d lift your hat.”
“If you weren’t so ugly, it would lift itself,” he replied, raising an eyebrow.
What could be worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A sunburned earthworm.
What’s all black, white, and red all over?
Sunburnt penguin.
What did the pig say on a hot summer day at the beach?
“I am bacon!”
How can you determine whether someone is a retired French soldier in a room full of nude men?
Ask all to raise their arms above their heads. The ones whose sunburned armpits.
A wife informed her husband that she needed to soak in a bathtub full of milk to relieve her sunburn.
“Pasteurized?” he inquired.
“No, just up to my neck,” she replied.
God is arranging his next trip and seeks guidance from St. Peter. “The difficulty is that I don’t know where to go,” God says.
“Well, why don’t you try Mercury?” asks St. Peter. This time of year is supposed to be bright and sunny!”
“No,” God says. “I got the worst sunburn of my life the last time I went to Mercury!”
“How about Pluto?” St. Peter asks. “The snow is very refreshing and enjoyable!”
“No,” God responds. “I shattered my leg snowboarding the last time I went to Pluto.”
“Fine,” St. Peter says. “What about Earth?” A pleasant environment, plenty of company, and the finest burritos in the Solar System!”
“No, not Earth,” God says. “I knocked up some lady the last time I travelled to Earth, and I’ve been hearing about it for 2000 years!”
Why was Steve Irwin’s sunblock lotion recalled?
It didn’t protect against harmful rays.
Yo Mama is so fat she came home from the beach with a sunburn and three harpoon wounds.
Recommended: Yo Mama Jokes
How do pirates deal with sunburn?
ALOE, POPPET.
A new fraud using counterfeit copper tone sunscreen has emerged.
Police are warning the public to read the ingredient list to avoid getting burned.
What do you call if one of your sons is on fire?
Sunburn.
Why do developers favour dark mode?
They don’t want to get sunburned.
What Dinosaur was inherently sunburn resistant?
An Aloesaurus.
When a topless blonde puts sunscreen on a topless brunette, what do you get?
Your camera.
Why do bananas require sunscreen?
Because they peel.
Why do there seem to be so many rednecks in Florida?
Because sunscreen instructions include: “apply liberally.”
What do you call someone who has a severe sunburn?
Appealing.
Why did every letter get sunburned except W, X, Y and Z?
They had UV protection.
Who is the most well-liked guy at the nudist colony?
The sunscreen vendor.
What happens if you get sunburn at the beach?
You become Bernie Sanders.
What do you call a sunburned Canadian?
Dual Citizen.
What do you call a sunburned psychoanalyst?
Pink Freud.
Who takes care of an elephant’s sunburn?
A pachydermatologist.
Why do ginger people sunburn easily?
It’s nature’s way of telling them they should be locked indoors.
Recommended: Ginger Jokes
In Ireland, what do you call sunscreen?
Pubes.
What do you call a sunburned Asi*n?
Rice Krispy.
Why do black people not get sunburned?
Ain’t no prison outdoors, dawg.
A guy with no arms and no legs and a sunburn?
Bernie.
Can you come up with a better sunburn pun or one-liner? Then leave it in the comments section below.
