The 2024 US Presidential Election is gearing up to be another significant event in American politics. As candidates from various parties throw their hats into the ring, the nation buzzes with speculation, debates, and campaign trails. This election, like others before it, promises a wide array of issues and personalities, with each candidate bringing their unique views and promises to the forefront. The electorate is poised to make decisions that will shape the country’s future, examining policies, track records, and visions for America. As always, the election will be a time of intense discussion, media coverage, and public scrutiny, reflecting the vibrant and often contentious nature of democracy.
In the realm of the 2024 US Presidential Election, humor often serves as a lighter way to process and comment on the political landscape. These jokes might poke fun at the quirks of candidates, the fervor of campaign strategies, or the often surreal nature of modern political discourse. They are a way for people to engage with the electoral process from a more relaxed perspective, offering comic relief in an environment that can otherwise be quite tense and serious. While remaining respectful, 2024 election jokes are an outlet for the collective stress and absurdity of the campaign season, reminding us that at the end of the day, politics, too, can be a source of laughter and shared amusement.
Best US Elections Jokes
The astronauts stuck in space are voting this election. Texas ruled in 1997 that astronauts in outer space can legally vote.
Wild to think nearly 30 years later they’d be so against aliens voting for the president
I’m looking forward to Musk getting into trouble for election interference and trying to cover it up.
The Saga will be called Elongate. It won’t be over quickly.
Kamala Harris promises if elected that she will “get tough” on illegal immigrants.
They will be downgraded right from 5-star Hotels to 4-star ones!
We really need to cut it out with all these political jokes.
Too many of them keep getting elected.
How is Trump similar to Harris?
Donald Trump has now experienced as many assassination attempts as Kamala Harris has experienced interviews.
My mate went to a Trump rally.
And all I got was this bloody T-shirt.
The 2024 US Presidential Election.
That’s it. That’s the entire joke.
As a Canadian, how does the Presidential Debate feel like?
Overhearing your downstairs neighbors debating about whether or not to set the building on fire.
Biden and Trump tied in a hypothetical 2024 matchup: poll
5% for Biden, 5% for Trump, and 90% said, “God no, not again!”
What did Donald Trump tweet when he found out he was losing to Dracula on election night?
“Stop the Count!”
Unlike past US Elections, the 2024 election is shaping up to be a feisty contest between the GOP and Dems.
The Geriatric Old People’s Party and the Dementia Party.
Donald Trump and Kamala Harris are in a plane crash. Who survives?
America.
Who would win in a street fight between Kamala Harris and Donald Trump?
Everyone watching.
Robert Kennedy Junior is running to become US President, and most think Americans should give him a shot.
And a couple of boosters, just to be sure.
How do you tell if someone is Ron DeSantis?
Hates Mickey. Looks Goofy. Acts like Donald.
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Why is waiting for election results similar to waiting for a grade on a group project?
You know you did your part right, but you are worried the rest of you screwed it up.
Did you hear about Trump running again?
Yeah, apparently they haven’t caught him yet.
Most are not sure about the current US government.
Kinda feels like they’re just Biden time until the next election.
Who is going to win the US election?
Not the American people.
A guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168.” The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, climate change, and AI machine language.
The guy leaves, but he is curious. So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man, and says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, hunting rifles, and monster trucks.
The guy leaves but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini,” and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close and says, “Isn’t it terrible the way Biden stole the election?”
It’s 2024 and for the first time in the history of US presidential elections, no one was chosen due to a lack of suitable candidates. The United States has no leader.
It’s unprecedented.
Donald Trump is still claiming he won in 2020.
Who would have believed a man in his 70s could maintain an election for so long?!
What is Trump’s favorite musical instrument?
Ban-joe.
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Yo mama so fat, she elected a chef for president.
Many wonder if the US President will run for re-election in 2024,
If he’s even alive bi den.
Why Did Donald Trump open a cheese factory just before the 2024 elections?
He wanted to make America Grate again.
Do you know that if you get elected, you can have multiple partners?
You’ll be a poly-tician.
The year is 2024 and the United States has just elected the first woman president, who happens to be from Wisconsin. A few days after the election, the president-elect, whose name is Susan, calls her father and says, “So, dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?”
“I don’t think so, Susie. It’s an 18-hour drive.”
“Don’t worry about it, dad! I will send Air Force One, and a limousine to pick you up at your door.”
“I don’t know, Susie. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?”
“Oh, dad,” replies Susan, “I’ll make sure she has a wonderful gown, custom-made by the best designer in Washington.”
“Honey,” her dad complains, “you know I can’t eat those rich foods you eat. Do they serve tap beer?”
The president-to-be responds, “Don’t worry, dad. The entire affair will be handled by the best caterer in Washington. I’ll ensure your meal has potatoes and cheddar in it. You and mom just have to be there.”
So, her dad reluctantly agrees, and on January 20, 2025, Susan is sworn in as president of the United States. In the front row sit Susan’s parents. Her dad, noticing a Senator sitting next to him, leans over and whispers, “You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible?”
“You bet I do,” whispers the Senator in reply.
The dad proudly beams, “Her brother played football for the Green Bay Packers.”
What hurts most about running for president?
The Cam-Pains.
How can a potential president have romance?
They can go on a candi-date.
What costs hundreds of millions of dollars, but is completely worthless?
Runner up in the presidential election.
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Did you guys hear about Cliff?
He’ll be running for office in 2024. He is expected to win by landslide.
Yo mama so fat, she rolled for president.
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president,
and anyone who doesn’t grow up can be vice president.
Why did the scissors have to withdraw his presidential campaign?
Nobody wanted to run with him.
What’s the difference between an argument in kindergarten and a presidential debate?
About 70 years.
Let’s say sometime in a future election the two candidates end up tying. Rather than settle things normally, they decide to have a literal presidential race around the White House.
Candidate 1 takes a while, coming in at 11:43.
Candidate 2, being an incumbent, goes through it like he knows the place and gets done in a short 9:23. He starts celebrating, thinking he was the fastest.
A nearby reporter informs Candidate 2 that he didn’t set the record, so Bush is still the one who holds it. He did 9:11.
What’s the difference between a presidential election and a NASCAR race?
In NASCAR, they wear their sponsors on their shirts.
What do you call a tabloid about Donald Trump?
A MAGAzine.
What is the only U.S. presidential campaign that would pump us all up next election?
Joe Budden 2024.
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What do you call a program that stimulates presidential candidates playing drums?
Algorithm (Al Gore rhythm).
Yo mama so old, she thinks George Washington is still president.
What do the 2024 Paris Olympics and the 2024 US presidential race have in common?
Half of the competitors cheat and the other half aren’t qualified.
What do you call two clueless, old men?
Presidential Candidates.
What will they play at the presidential inauguration if Republicans win?
Trump-ets.
A Chinese went to a temple and asked a monk, “Who will win the United States presidential election?” The monk points his finger towards a dog sh*t.
The Chinese was confused and asked the monk, “Did you mean both of them are sh*ts? Or the sh*ttiest one will win?”
The monk replied, “It means, I don’t give a sh*t.”
Do you know that if Steve Jobs was still alive and a presidential candidate, he would have won the 2024 Election?
But let’s not compare Apples to Oranges.
What does a presidential candidate who can’t get his votes up suffer from?
Electile dysfunction.
Do you think the Presidential debate is hard to watch?
Think of what it was like for the sign language interpreters.
What do call the world’s biggest puppet show?
The US presidential election.
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In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural-born citizen and at least 35 years old.
A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural-born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office.
She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with “What makes a natural-born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?”
Who will win the presidential election?
The one with the most votes.
Why this year’s presidential election is like 69ing someone?
No matter who comes out on top, you’ll be looking at an a**hole.
What’s the difference between sex and US Presidential elections?
In sex, the decision to choose the c*nt or the a**hole is a pleasure.
Why didn’t Mario complete his presidential term?
He got in Peach.
Do you have a funny joke about the US Presidential Elections? Write down your own puns in the comment section below!
Normally I hate those trashy, fake, rigged reality TV shows…
But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.