60 Funny Donald Trump Jokes To Make You Laugh Once Again

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Jessica Amlee

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Donald Trump, the 45th president of the United States, was known for his controversial actions, statements, and tweets. As a result, he became a popular subject of ridicule in comedy shows, social media, and everyday conversations. Trump jokes ranged from poking fun at his hair and orange complexion to mocking his policies and behavior. Trump may be out of office, but his legacy of jokes lives on. Some found these jokes to be entertaining and cathartic, while others saw them as disrespectful and divisive. 

Regardless of one’s opinion, it cannot be denied that Trump jokes became a significant part of pop culture during his presidency, and their legacy continues to inspire political satire and humor today.

Best Trump Jokes

Did you hear about Trump running again?
Yeah, apparently they haven’t caught him yet.

Wanna play Trump’s new Monopoly game?
Every place you land says Go Directly to Jail.

What do Martin Sheen and Donald Trump have in common?
They both played a president on TV.

How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Trump says it’s done and they all cheer in the dark.

Did you know that Steve Jobs would’ve been a better president than Trump?
But comparing apples to oranges is unfair.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Ray who?)
Ray Sist, but my buddies call me Donald Trump.

What is the problem with Trump jokes?
Republicans don’t think they’re funny, and Democrats don’t think they’re jokes.

One of Trump’s aides says to him, “Sir, I had a dream you got your parade. It was miles and miles long winding through Washington DC. Joyful Americans lined the route, literally in the millions. People were laughing, cheering, playing in the street. You were riding in the most beautiful carriage.”
Trump asks, “Was I happy?”
The aide answers, “I don’t know, sir. The casket was closed.”

Yo mama so fat, Trump used her as the wall.

Why can’t Donald Trump be hung for treason?
Fake Noose.

What do you call a tabloid about Donald Trump?
A MAGAzine.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. Fox has a small one. Madonna doesn’t have one. The Pope has one but never uses it. Donald Trump has one and uses it. What is it?
A surname/last name.

What is the difference between Washington, Nixon, and Trump?
George Washington couldn’t tell a lie. Richard Nixon couldn’t tell the truth. Donald Trump can’t tell the difference.

What does the J in Donald J Trump stand for?

Why did Donald Trump marry an immigrant?
Once again, immigrants are doing the jobs no American want to do.

Recommended: Funny US Presidential Election Jokes

What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation?

Why did Trump throw so many plates against the wall like a baby?
He wanted to seem tough on china.

How does a Trump supporter explain why they cannot perform in bed?
Erection fraud.

What do Donald Trump, Princess Diana, and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their biggest hit was The Wall.

What’s the difference between Batman and Donald Trump’s tax?
People saw Batman Returns.

One night, Donald Trump and his driver were driving along a remote road when they hit a pig, killing it instantly.
Trump directed his driver to go up to the farmhouse and inform the owners of what had occurred. After about an hour, Trump notices his driver wobbling back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other, and shredded and torn clothes.
“What happened to you?” Trump inquired.
“Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and his 19-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me.”
“My God, what did you tell them?” Trump wonders. You’re Stitched
The driver replies, “I’m Donald Trump’s driver, and I just killed the pig.”

Did you hear that Trump was accused of having dandruff?
He denied it, of course, and blamed it on flake news.

Trump and Biden are trapped on island. Who survives?

Recommended: Biden Jokes

Did you hear about that group where only Trump supporters are allowed?
Everyone else is forbiden.

Why did Trump play golf after the last election?
Because that’s where the winner has the lowest score.

What is Donald Trump’s spy name?
Agent Orange.

How did the Trump supporter fall off his motorcycle?
He was leaning too far to the right.

What is Trump’s favorite musical instrument?

Which must be Donald Trump’s favorite supermarket?

Why did Micky Mouse throw tomatoes at Trump every time he spoke publicly?
Just to hear the secret service chant Donald Duck.

Donald Trump dies of a heart attack one day in the future.
He is immediately transported to Hell, where the devil awaits him. “I don’t know what to do here,” the devil says. “You’re on my list, but I don’t have any space for you.
You have no choice but to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I have three people here that weren’t quite as awful as you.
I’ll let one of them go, but you must fill their spot. I’ll even let you choose who goes.”
It sounded very nice to Donald, so the devil opened the door to the first room.
It contained Barack Obama and a huge pool of water. Barack keeps jumping in and coming out empty-handed. Again and over, he dove in and came up empty-handed. In hell, this was his fate.
“No,” Donald replied. “I don’t believe so. It would destroy my hair because I’m not a good swimmer. I’m not sure I could do that all day.”
The demon took him to the next room’s door. It contained Al Gore, a sledgehammer, and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer over and over again. “Oh, this is no good; I’ve had his problem with my shoulder. I’d be in continual misery if all I had to do was crush rocks all day,” said Donald.
A third door was opened by the devil. Donald saw Bill Clinton through it, laying on the bed with his arms tied over his head and his legs immobilized in a spread-eagle stance. Monica Lewinsky was bent over him, doing what she does best.
Donald looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, “Yeah man, I can handle this.”
The devil smiled and said, “OK, Monica, you’re free to go.”

Did you hear about Trump’s opinion on Roe VS Wade?
“I don’t care how they get home, just get them outta the damn country!”

Finally, a fact both Democrats and Republicans can agree on!
“Anyone with half a brain knows Trump won.”

Recommended: Democrat and Republican Jokes

Why can’t Trump go in the White House?
Because it is For-Biden.

Why Did Donald Trump open a cheese factory?
He wanted to make America Grate again.

What does Donald trump call kayaks?
Fake canoes.

What do you get when you cross Trump and Caesar?
Orange Julius.

Why weren’t Mexicans too concerned about Trump’s border wall?
They knew that they would eventually get over it.

What is Donald Trump’s spirit animal?
A Wall-rus.

The Pope and Trump have taken the stage in front of a large audience.
The Pope moved in close to Mr. Trump and said, “Do you know that with a simple wave of my hand, I can make everyone in this throng jump for joy? This joy will not be a fleeting emotion, as it was for your disciples, but will fill their hearts and bring them joy for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day!”
Trump replied, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.

How are Kobe Bryant and Melania Trump similar?
They both made fortunes just by playing with orange balls.

What is Donald Trump’s favorite car?
Dodge Caravan.

What do you call Trump’s cat?
A trumpet!

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Can you believe the Canadian prime minister’s name isn’t Trump?
It’s Trudeau.

What’s Donald Trump’s least favorite coffee?

What’s Donald Trump’s favorite dog?
A border collie.

What’s Donald Trump’s favorite brand of gum?
Bigly Chew.

Donald Trump is on a school visit.
In one session, he introduces the young kids to a new term: tragedy. Then he requests that they put it in a sentence.
“If a school bus carrying 20 people drove down a cliff and murdered everyone on board, it would be a tragedy,” one brave girl says.
“No,” Trump says. “You’re almost there, but that’s not a tragedy. That is what we term a significant loss.”
A child raises his hand a few seconds later and says, “What if my friend was on a field and a farmer ran him over with a tractor? That would be tragedy.”
“No,” Trump says again. “That is what we call an accident, not a tragedy. Is there anyone else?”
For a while, the entire class is perplexed. Finally, another child raises his voice and exclaims, “What a tragedy that would be if Trump was traveling in his private jet and was hit by a missile.”
“Exactly!” Trump expresses satisfaction. “Can you explain to the class why that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” the boy replies. “It definitely wouldn’t be a great loss, and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”

What is the only reason Donald Trump is watching the Olympics?
So he can determine how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump.

What do you call a fully bathed Donald Trump?
A clean joke.

What do you get when you mix Michael Jordan with Donald Trump?
A Dunkin’ Donut.

What is Donald Trump’s favorite game?
Fortnite. Because he can build walls for free.

Why are Trump’s ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.

If Trump played DnD, what weapon would he use?
Fire staff.

What do Donald Trump and his father have in common?
They both have shitty judgment when it comes to pulling out.

Why don’t you want to play Uno with Donald Trump?
He takes away all the green cards.

A man is traveling through his neighborhood mall when he spots a Mexican book store. He goes in because he has never seen one before.
He looks around the store before asking the clerk, “Do you have the book on Donald Trump’s international relations with Mexico?”
The clerk replies, “Fuck you, get out, stay out!”
The man replies, “Yeah, that’s the one.”

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What happens when Donald Trump takes Viagra?
He grows taller.

Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F#ck up.

What do a thong and Donald Trump’s toupee have in common?
They both barely cover an asshole.

At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician running for the presidency, “Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you please comment on this?”
“The truth is,” replied Donald Trump, “That she has a big mouth.”

What is Donald Trump’s favorite song?
Gräbem by Debussy.

Do you have a Trump joke? Post your own Trump puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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