Funny College Puns to Major in Humor Today

College is that magical realm where sleep is just a beautiful idea, caffeine is your best friend, and you learn important life lessons in the most unexpected places, like the laundry room or the restaurant corridor. It’s a place where you’re expected to create the impossible: study, go to class (sometimes even before sunrise), get on with life, and somehow even remember to call your mom. But fear not, young scholars, for among the fragments of ancient knowledge and the clattering buildings of academia lies a hidden gem: the supreme art of college puns. They argue that a well-timed pun can easily frustrate the most delicate professor and make even the driest lecture a surprise.

And of course, we plunge into the world of college puns, where every textbook brings laughs and professor jokes are considered some extra prestige. The college pun is the academic world’s way of reminding us that, despite time commitments and dissertations, there’s always room for a little levity and plenty of humor.

Best College Puns

1. Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. I don’t think I can ever repay you.
2. What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college? Bison.
3. In college, I thought General Calculus was a Roman war hero.
4. When I was in college, I had to rent an apartment that had ceilings only four feet high. I couldn’t stand living there.
5. Today I got a letter of rejection from origami college. I’ll be honest, I don’t know what to make of it.
6. What do you call two witches in college? Broommates.
7. My instinct comes from the money I spent for college. You could say I paid for that in tuition.
8. It was super hot when I went to orientation in college. I gotta say, it was quite the warm welcoming.
9. When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room, and I used to clean his. We were maid for each other.
10. He got a C in every class, every semester of high school. He got a Halfbright scholarship for college.
11. In college, I was so broke I couldn’t afford the electricity bill. Those were the darkest days of my life.
12. If you can’t remember what you majored in at college, you skipped classes to some degree.
13. I hate it when people subtly flex where they went to college. I have this friend who went to Harvard and he just won’t shut tf up about it. He’s always been like this, even when we were in college together.
14. Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
15. In college, this kid studied to be an astronaut Yeah, he took up space.
16. I wish my college was run by EA. At least I’d get a sense of pride and accomplishment for my money.
17. What did they call the corn that graduated from college? Unicorn.
18. As a recent college grad, I had a realization. I understand my field to a degree.
19. Yoda was telling Luke about his college days, and he said… “Smoke, we’d, every day.”
20. This guy at college keeps calling me a flamingo. One of these days I’m going to put my foot down.

---

Recommended: Funny College Jokes

---

21. How do stoners get into college? Rolling Admissions.
22. I went to college so I could learn to be a politician. I graduated with my B.S.
23. My pot-smoking college roommate decided to choose Theology as his major. He’s now a high priest.
24. I failed my calculus exam in college because I was seated between two identical twins. I couldn’t differentiate between them.
25. What If you go to college to learn how to make antennas? That would mean that you’d get a dipole-ma.
26. I hate all these colleges only care about diversity. It’s called a UNIversity for a reason.
27. Four years in college and never dated a single lady. I guess I really came for a bachelor’s degree.
28. I went to college with a woman named Nonstick Cooking Spray. She kept shortening it to Pam, but I knew what she meant.
29. Are you going to clown college? You can’t be serious.
30. My wife was disappointed to find out why my nickname in college was ‘The Love Machine.’ I sucked at tennis.
31. Most colleges have a women’s studies major, but mine has a men’s studies major too. It’s called ‘history’.
32. What do you call scientific equipment that went to college? A graduated cylinder.
33. I recently failed my Medical College entrance exam because of nerves. The correct answer was blood vessels.
34. I was going to go to agricultural college, but I couldn’t afford the… …fruition.
35. My college roommate got a pet parrot. That damn thing won’t ever shut up. The parrot is cool though.
36. Why is it easy to get into a pirate college? Because you only need the high Cs.
37. In college, I tried to put my grades up for adoption. Because I couldn’t raise them on my own.
38. When I was in college, I lived on a houseboat and started dating a girl next door. Eventually…we drifted apart.
39. My dad worked in a pizza shop through college so he could afford to eat something other than ramen. He was kneading the dough.
40. Where do some African animals go to college? Hippocampus.

---

Recommended: Funny Graduation Jokes

---

41. I just took off my backpack after my very last college final. Boy, was that a weight off my shoulders.
42. I couldn’t afford to ride my horse anymore after college. So I saddled him with debt.
43. It is unfathomable that zero, I repeat z-e-r-o percent of kitchen fixtures that apply to college get accepted. Let that sink in.
44. College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they’ll send your kid back.
45. What is college other than an elaborate mark-getting stunt.
46. I think it’s worth learning binary in college. I don’t know though, that’s just my 10 cents.
47. What If a volcano gets good grades in college? It graduate magma cum laude!
48. In college, we had a buddy who always gave us suggestions as to what booze or drugs to try. He was the original trip advisor.
49. Not to brag, but I experimented a lot in college. I was a Chemistry major.
50. My son wanted to join a really expensive math college but he didn’t have enough money. I needed to cosine for him.
51. What’s the name of the college fraternity really into rowing? ρ ρ ρ (rho rho rho).
52. Deciding what to study in college is a Major decision.
53. A college math teacher ends up marrying one of his old students. Guess he taught her how to multiply.
54. If a non-college teacher has s*xual relations with a student, then they pursue a minor in education.
55. The best thing about college is it forces you to have confidence. Like in high school I never had the confidence to walk in front of a moving car.
56. Teeth are like college students. After experimenting with drugs, a few might drop out.
57. When I was in college, all the fraternities rejected me because I was circumcised. Apparently, you need to be a complete d*ck.
58. In college, my nickname was Safe Cracker. Not because I was good at cracking safes but because I was a non-threatening white guy.
59. 72% of exotic dancers at clubs are working their way through college. This, according to the latest pole.
60. They told me to write shorthand in college. I said how dare you bring attention to my birth deformities.

---

Do you have a funny pun about Colleges? Write down your one-liners in the comment section below!