Moisture is that invisible water demon in the sky that loves to play hide and seek with us, especially during those hot summer months it is an uninvited guest at any outdoor barbecue, he clings to your skin like a friend in need, and turns hair into abstract art installations. This nasty element of the weather doesn’t just slip into your clothes; It flows right into your soul, thickening the air like granny gravy. So, as we indulge in juicy comedy, remember that it’s all in good fun—just like Watercooler, which seems to think that life is a hot joke in which we are the unthinking audience.
These jokes don’t just make light of our discomfort, they are life-saving gear, helping us smile through the muggy jungles of high humidity with a smile. They remind us that sometimes the only way to beat the irony of the weather is to turn it into our own punchline, laughing our way through the storm until clear skies appear.
Best Humidity Jokes
A lot of people hate the ones who use the wrong words in a sentence and don’t correct themselves
They sometimes should have the humidity to admit it.
What does 100% humidity mean?
Even dry farts feel like wet farts.
Doesn’t this humid weather remind you of New York in the 80’s?
Muggy.
Did you know you can substitute lotion for eye drops?
It’ll moisturize.
What’s the only tea an Englishman can’t stand?
Humidity.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
How come the teacher on the magic school bus never shows her hair on hot humid days?
With the frizz, no way.
This secretary left her boss a message saying humidity will hit 90% today.
She wrote it on a sticky note.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
What kind of paint cures only when the humidity is just right?
Tempuramental paint.
Did you hear that the man made of sugar died?
His last words were, “Ahhh the humidity!”
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What do you call a wet song?
A humid-ditty.
What do matadors use to keep their skin moisturized after a bullfight?
Oil of Olé.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said, “Watson, look up and tell me what you see!”
Watson said, “I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars”.
Holmes said, “And what does that tell you?”
Watson said, “Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life possibly intelligent life may well fill the universe.
Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why? – What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?”
Holmes replied, “Someone stole our tent.”
What’s the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
Why doesn’t the Weather Man ever carry valuables on them once the humidity level gets above 70%?
It gets a bit muggy.
Why don’t witches get sweaty at the gym?
Because they wear moisture-Wiccan shirts.
What type of onion can’t hold in moisture?
A leek.
What did the humidity say to the air conditioner?
“You’re cool, but I make things stick together!”
A hot, sweaty farmer walks into a bar and orders a cold beer.
“Dang, our baler broke down in the field today, and it’s humid and 100+ degrees out,” the farmer complains. “I’m so hot and sweaty from repairing that thing that I just want to rip off all my dirty, sweaty clothes and run around the bar in frustration.”
“Wait!” the bartender exclaims before reaching under the bar and grabbing a bottle of Windex and spraying the farmer down. “There. That should stop you from streaking.”
What language does the moisturizer speak?
Laotian.
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Why don’t secrets last in humid weather?
Because they’re too easy to see through!
What’s a ghost’s favorite weather?
Humid, because it’s so easy to mistify people!
The woman insisted it was drizzling outside while her husband said that really, it was just misting.
They decided that the argument would be settled by asking their elderly former soviet neighbor Rudolf.
Rudolf grimaced at the sky for a moment and held up a hand to catch some of the falling moisture. “It is drizzle,” he declared.
The husband, a little put out by losing the argument, complained. “And why are we accepting our neighbor’s judgment?”
“Because,” the wife replied, “Rudolf the red knows rain, dear.”
How does humidity keep its skin so smooth?
Always in a steamy relationship with the environment!
In other places, a suitable partner is judged on a 1-10 hotness scale.
In Alabama, they use relative humidity.
What do you call a midg*t who lives in a tropical climate?
A little humid.
Do you have a funny joke on Humidity? Write down the puns in the comment section below!
