Cats are like little superheroes with fur—they climb walls, leap great distances, and always land on their feet. They make us laugh when they chase their tails or attack invisible enemies. And who else can go from zooming around the house to napping like they’ve run a marathon? Kids love their silly antics, and that’s why cats are perfect for Cat Jokes!
Cat Jokes are the best way for kids to enjoy the funny side of these mischievous pets. They turn every tail twitch and whisker wiggle into a giggle. Whether it’s about a cat’s love for naps or their strange obsession with sitting in boxes, these jokes make kids laugh just as much as a kitten stuck in a shoelace battle!
Best Family-Friendly Cat Jokes
How do you buy a kitten when the pet store is closed?
You order it from the Cat-alogue.
What’s a cat’s favorite handheld console?
A Sony Pspspspspsp.
What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Did you hear about the man who accidentally took his cat’s meds this morning?
Don’t ask meow.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Feline.
(Feline who?)
Feline fine, ready to laugh with you!
How often does a cat meow?
Once purr day.
What’s 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat, and 2/4 goat?
Chicago.
Why is it better to bring dogs into space than cats?
Because you don’t have to worry about any cat-astro-fees.
Knock knock.
(Who’s there?)
Mice.
(Mice who?)
Mice to meet you! Got any rats?
What is a cat’s favorite color?
Purrrrrr-ple.
The teacher asks, “If I gave you two cats, and another two cats, and another two cats, how many would you have?”
Johnny replies, “Seven.”
The teacher says, “No, listen carefully. If I gave you two cats, and another two cats, and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny insists, “Seven.”
The teacher tries again, “Let me make it simpler. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples, and another two apples, how many would you have?”
Johnny confidently answers, “Six.”
The teacher nods, “Good. Now, if I gave you two cats, and another two cats, and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny shouts, “Seven!”
The teacher throws her hands up, “Johnny, where on earth are you getting seven from?!”
Johnny grins, “Because I already have a freaking cat!”
What religion does my cat practice?
Catlick.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi’s.
What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain.
Knock knock.
(Who’s there?)
Tuna.
(Tuna who?)
Tuna round, there’s a hungry cat behind you!
What noise does a really really fast cat make?
“…mmmeeeEEEOOOooowww…”
What does a Greek cat say?
“μ.”
What do you call a cat with low iron levels?
A line.
What is sixty minutes in cat time?
A meowr.
While trimming the hedges in his yard, John didn’t notice the outdoor neighborhood cat hiding in the bushes. As he clipped away, he accidentally cut the cat’s tail clean off. In a panic, he grabbed the cat and its severed tail, rushing to his car. He drove frantically to Walmart, hoping to find help. When he arrived, the greeter stared at him, puzzled, and asked, “Why did you bring the cat?”
John, without missing a beat, replied, “Because you’re the largest re-tailer in the world!”
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Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat’s tail it will fall off?
It’s true! And if you pour pepper on a cat’s tail, the pepper will also fall off.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog, it croaks every night.
What kind of clothes do cats wear to bed?
Paw-jamas.
What kind of car does a cat drive?
Furrari.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Cat!
(Cat who?)
“Cat me outside, how bout dat?!”
What do you call a terrible pun about a cat?
A-paw-ling.
What do you call a cat who doesn’t tell the truth?
A felying.
I just gave my cat some 7UP.
Now he’s got 16 lives.
What do you call an avalanche of cats?
A catastrophe.
A man walks into a pharmacy.
He went up to the counter and said, “Do you have a shampoo for fleas?”
“Certainly, sir. Do you have a dog or a cat?”
“I have fleas.”
What’s a cat’s favorite kitchen utensil?
A whisker!
It’s been found that Shakespeare had a cat.
But the breed isn’t certain.
Tabby or not tabby: that is the question.
How do cats plan their attacks?
From scratch.
What is a cat’s favorite tourist destination?
Catmandu. Because of all the meowntains.
A cat pirate walked into a saloon.
Soon, it wanted to fit in. Unsure of what to say, he stammered…
“M-meowdy purrrrrrrtner!”
What do you get when you give Schrödinger’s cat a ball of yarn?
Quantum entanglement.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Cat.
(Cat who?)
Cat you see I’m knocking on the door?
If a cat wanted to beat an egg, how would they do it?
With their whiskers.
An octopus slinks into a dark room with a gun in each arm.
He hears a soft chuckle coming from the corner.
“You’re one short, my friend,” says the cat as he steps into view.
What did the bilingual cat say?
Woof.
Why was the cat arrested?
Littering.
A policeman in the countryside stops a man in a car with a Siberian Lynx in the front seat.
“What are you doing with that Siberian Lynx?” he exclaimed. “You should take it to the Wildlife Refuge!”
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the lynx again in the front seat, both wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over and says, “I thought you were going to take that lynx to the forest!”
The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time, we are going to the lake this weekend!”
What do cats do with their morning coffee?
Read the mewspaper, of course.
This family got a new cat and called him Glue.
The name just kind of stuck.
Did you hear about the cat who ate a ball of yarn?
She had a litter of mittens.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Purr.
(Purr who?)
Purr-haps you’d like to pet me?
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice krispies.
What do you call a ship full of male cats?
Tom Cruise.
When is the best time to tell a cat joke?
Right meow.
What did the cat get charged with in court?
Purrrrrjury.
What do cats do to a movie remote during a movie when one of them needs to get something?
They paws it.
What do cats read when they use the bathroom?
Litter-ature.
A man walks into a bar with a cat and a dog.
They all sit down and the bartender says, “What can I get you?”
The dog looks squarely at the bartender and says, “I’ll take a vodka, the guy will take a water, and the cat will take a scotch.”
The bartender, in shock, says to the dog, “This is Wonderful! You’re a dog that can talk…”
The guy looks at the bartender, and says, “Don’t be fooled, the cat is a ventriloquist.”
Why are cats such good bakers?
They have built in whiskers.
What do you call a fake Catwoman?
A copy cat!
What do you give an angry cat?
Anti-hissed-at-me.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Fur.
(Fur who?)
Fur-get about it, let’s go for a nap!
What if the Earth was flat?
Cats would have pushed everything off it by now.
What’s the best name for a misbehaved female cat?
Lucy-Furr.
Why do cats meow?
Because if they barked, everyone would think they’re dogs.
What’s a cat’s favorite instrument?
Purrr-cussion.
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What is a cat’s favorite subject in school?
Hissss-tory.
Why do cats have the best homes?
They have the most stylish furr-niture.
What did the cat say after telling a joke?
“Just kitten.”
What’s a cat’s favorite fish?
Purrranha.
What do you call it when cats take over a boat?
Mewtiny.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Scratch.
(Scratch who?)
Scratch that, I’ll be right there!
How did the two cats end their fight?
They hissed and made up.
Why don’t cats lick themselves when they are in heat?
Because they don’t want to burn their tongues.
What cats like playing golf?
Lynx.
What do you call it when a cat wins first place at a dog show?
A Cat-has-trophy!
What does Lightning McQueen feed his cat?
Cat Chow.
Why don’t cats make good thieves?
They can’t get past the laser defenses.
What did the cat say when he was happy?
“I’m feline good..”
Recommended: Black Cat Jokes
What does a cat in a fighter plane say?
“Myaaaaaaoooww!”
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Cat.
(Cat who?)
Cat-ch me if you can, I’m outta here!
How does the cat cook such good food?
He makes everything from scratch.
What’s the cat’s favorite dinner?
Spaghetti and meat paws.
Why did the cat eat the dog’s homework?
Because it was a peice of cake!
What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order?
Claw Enforcement.
Why is the cat so grouchy?
Because he’s in a bad mewd.
Why did the cat run from the tree?
Because it was afraid of the bark!
Why do cats prefer a Desktop PC over a Laptop?
Because they have a mouse.
What do you call a cat from outer space?
An extrapurrestrial.
What did the man say to his cat when he left the house?
“Have a mice day.”
Why can’t you watch Netflix with a cat?
It won’t stop pushing the paws button.
Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the refrigerator?
To turn “ice” into “mice”.
What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?
Santa Claws!
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What kind of kitten works at the hospital?
A first-aid Kit.
Why did the cats ask for a piano?
They wanted to make mew-sic.
What do you call a kitten that cuts her hair really short?
A bob cat!
Where did the school kittens go on their field trip?
To the mewseum.
What do you call a large cat that you pay?
A fee-lion.
How do you know when your cat has been using your computer?
When your mouse has teeth marks on it!
Neil had two cats in his lap and was petting both.
Both his hands were occupied, so he was at maximum CatPatcity.
Do you have a funny cat joke? Write down your best kid-friendly ones in the comment section below!
