70 Funny Black Cat Jokes That Are Un-Boo-Lievable

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Jessica Amlee

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The superstition of black cats dates back to Ancient Greece. According to Greek mythology, Zeus’ wife Hera once turned her servant Galinthias into a black cat as punishment for interfering with Hercules’ birth. Galinthias later became an aide to Hecate, the goddess of witchcraft, and black cats have had different meanings in different cultures ever since. You’ve probably heard that if a black cat crosses your path, it’s bad luck. As these myths are getting busted, we have aggregated some of the funniest black cat jokes for you to laugh at.

Although the origin of this popular black cat myth is unknown, some believe that witches in the middle ages were conscious of natural phenomena. They were smart, intelligent and kept themselves healthy. So they use to keep cats with them to get rid of rodents and brooms to maintain cleanliness. The western world at that time was dominated by males in Church must have felt challenged in terms of authority and power.

Others believe that it could be related to the cat’s slick demeanor. Some superstitious observers may believe that a black cat’s sly movements indicate that he is up to no good. But black cats should not be stereotyped because they appear to be sly. Indeed, they are considered lucky in many cultures. A strange black cat appearing on your doorstep is considered lucky in Scotland. Black cats are thought to help single women find suitors in Japan. There are many silly superstitions out there, but most people regard black cats as cute rather than creepy.

Best Black Cat Jokes

Is it very bad luck to see a black cat?

That depends if you’re a mouse or a human.

Why do black cats prefer wizards to witches?

Sorcerers sometimes have milk in them.

What do you get when you cross a witch’s cat with a canary?

A black cat with a full belly.

What is the difference between science, philosophy and religion?

Science is when you search for a black cat in a dark room.

Philosophy is when you search for a black cat in a dark room even though the room contains no cat.

Religion is when you search for a black cat in a dark room even though the room contains no cat – and then you suddenly exclaim, “I’ve found the cat!”

Those black cats better not cross my path. I’m not superstitious.

Just racist.

Why do witches trust black cats?

Because they’re familiar.

What was the pirate cat’s name?

Black Pearrrl.

What is the oldest Chinese saying about felines?

It doesn’t matter whether the cat is black or white it still tastes the same.

What do you call a black flying male cat?

Tom Crows.

How many black cats can be put into a haunted house?

Only one after which it is no longer empty.

What kind of tests are given to black cats in school?


Where does a black cat get its best Halloween humor from?
The purrfect place!

When are cats preparing for the next Black Cats Matter protests?

Friday the 13th.

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What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds?

Hailing taxi cabs.

What is a black cat’s favorite nursery rhyme?

Three Blind Mice.

What kind of cats enjoy bowling?

Black Alley cats.

What happens when you cross a black cat with a white oak tree?

A black and white cat-a-logue.

What is the name of a witch’s black cat who drinks vinegar?

A sour puss.

When a witch’s black cat falls off a broomstick, what do you call it?

A catastrophe.

What’s unluckier than crossing a black cat’s path?

Crossing a black cat’s path that’s lactose intolerant.

What did the black cat say to the white cat after they both fell into the water?


What’s a black cat’s favorite color?


Recommended: Corny Halloween Jokes

What do you call a black cat that stimulates sexual desires?

BBC (Big black cat).

What is a black cat’s favorite subject in school?


What do black cats like to do in their spare time?

Witch crafts.

What is dark, evil, and bounces?

A black cat on a pogo broom.

The Pope and an atheist are having a heated debate.

After a few hours, the pope addresses the atheist, saying, “You are like a blindfolded man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn’t there.” “Well, then,” says the atheist, “we’re not so dissimilar.” As you are similar to a blindfolded man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn’t there, the only difference is that you argue to have found it.”

Why are black cats so gifted when it comes to Halloween party songs?

Because they’re incredibly mewsical.

Why did the witch’s black cat puke?

She was broom sick.

There are two kittens sitting on a steep roof: a black and a white one. Which one falls off first?

The one with the smallest *mu*

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Which of your pets should you try to scare on Halloween?


What do you do when you cross a black cat during Christmas?

Santa Claws.

Have you heard about the witch’s black cat, who ate the orange yarn ball?

It had Halloween mittens.

What do you call a pile of black cats?

A meow-tain.

If not for witches, what kind of cars do black cats drive?


When travelling, where do black cats always fly out?

Kitty Hawk.

What do you call it when black cats rebel?


What language do black cats speak?


Where do black cats keep their witch’s makeup?

In their purrrs.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a black cat?

Don’t worry, she didn’t know either.

Recommended: Helen Keller Jokes

Did you hear about the black cat who lied about its age?

It was just a kitten.

Who are black cats afraid of?

Claw enforcement.

What does a witch say to her black cat before leaving the house?

“Have a mice day!”

What game does a witch play with her black cat?

Hair ball.

Where do black cats write down their witch’s notes?

On scratch paper.

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What did the sick black cat say after Halloween?

“I feel clawful.”

Why did the black cat put oil on the mouse?
Because it was squeaking!

What do you call a black cat criminal?
A Purr-petrator.

Why do black cats ride with witches on broomsticks?
Because it’s quicker than walking.

What’s the first thing black cats do on Halloween morning?
They wake up.

How do black cats eat Halloween candy?
With their mouths just like everyone else.

Why do black cats make the best pets for witches?
Because they are purr-fect.

What makes more noise than an angry black cat?

Two angry black cats.

What does a black cat use pencil sharpeners for?

To keep its claws pointy.

What do black cats wear on Halloween party night?


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Where does a black cat go if it loses its tail?

The retail store.

Why was the black cat’s phone bill so high?

It kept making Persian-to-Persian calls.

How is a black cat similar to a candle?

They’re both wicked.

What do you call a witch’s black cat that never comes when he’s called?

What did the witch call her black cat?
Black death.

What would you get if you cross a black kitten with a vampire stake?
Ofcourse, a cat-er-pillar.

Why did the black cats sell their homes?
Because the neighborhood had gone to the dogs.

What looks like half a black cat?
The other half.

What do you use to comb a black cat?
Obviously, a catacomb.

Why did the black cat run from the tree?
Since it was afraid of the bark.

What is the black cat’s favorite magazine?
Good Mousekeeping.

Why did the black cat join the Red Cross?

Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit-ten!

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How do black cats get their hair to stand up for Halloween?

They use scare spray.

Why are black cats so terrible at telling spooky stories?

They have only one tail.

In older days, why did the jury lock up the black cat?

It was guilty of purr-jury.

Whether you’re a self-proclaimed “Cat Lady” or simply enjoy a good laugh, the above jokes on black cats are damn too funny.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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