Lobsters are like the armored knights of the ocean, marching around with their tough shells and giant claws as if they own the seabed. They live underwater but act like tiny kings, waving those claws around as if every passing fish is a royal subject in their salty kingdom.
Because lobsters already look so serious, jokes about them become even funnier. It feels like teasing a grumpy old neighbor who takes himself way too seriously. That mix of claws, shells, and attitude gives comedians plenty of material to play with, turning this seafood into a star of ocean-themed comedy.

Best Lobster Jokes

What do you call a belt made out of lobsters?
A waist of good seafood.

What do you call a lobster who’s very heated about something?
A frustracean.

A man walked into a seafood restaurant and asked for a lobster tail.
The waitress smiled sweetly and said, “Once upon a time, there was this handsome lobster……”

In which part of the bread factory do lobsters work?
The crust station.

What do you call a crab that throws things?
A lobster.

What do you call a lobster that’s afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic.

What did the oyster text to the Lobster?
A Shellfie.

Why did the chef second-guess himself and undercook the lobster?
He has low shellfish steam.

What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.

Recommended: Fish Jokes

A man is caught fishing illegally for lobsters.
He has two in his boat when the police approach him.
The man claims he’s not poaching them and they are his pet lobsters, he’s just taking them for a swim.
“I let them play in the water for a few minutes but when I whistle they come back to me.”
So the police let him place the lobsters in the water and command the man to call them back.
“Call who back?”

Why don’t lobsters give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.

What do you call a famous lobster?
A shellebrity.

Life is all about perspective.
The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.

Did you hear about the lobster that got a job at pizza hut?
He’s working in the crust station.

Yo mama so fat, she went to Red Lobster for endless shrimp last month and she’s still there.

How did the lobster end up in prison?
He fought the claw and the claw won.

What does a rational lobster have?
Claw-min sense.

Why was the lobster upset?
Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!

Recommended: Beach Jokes

Why was the ocean screaming?
You would too if you had lobsters on your bottom!

A drunk man hails a taxi. When the cab pulls over, the drunk sticks his head in the passenger side window and asks the driver, “Have you got room here for a whole lobster and three bottles of wine?”
“Sure,” replies the driver.
“Fantastic!” and throws up on the passenger seat.

Where do crabs and lobsters park their public transport vehicles?
At the Bustacean.

Where does a lobster keep it’s clothes?
In it’s claw-set!

What’s different between Red Lobster and Facebook?
At Red Lobster, the servers are responding.

Why did the lobster flush?
Because the sea weed.

What do lobsters drink in the morning?
Clawfee.

How do lobsters answer the phone?
“…Shello?!”

What do you call an egotistical lobster in jail?
A selfish shellfish cell-fish.

Recommended: Shark Jokes

Who delivers Christmas gifts to lobsters?
Santa Claws.

Why did the lobster cross the road?
To get to the other tide!

A girl lobster meets a crab boy.
They quickly hit it off and started dating. Unfortunately, the girl’s father is dead set against interspecies relationships and tells his daughter, “If you keep seeing that crab boy, I’m cutting you off; no daughter of mine will be with a ‘sideways walker’, I will not stand for it.” Upset, the girl lobster tells her crab boyfriend about her father’s feelings about ‘sideways walkers’, the boy crab in love with the girl lobster resolves that he will learn to walk forwards and backwards to prove his love and win her father’s blessing. He practices for weeks and finally overcomes his natural urge to walk sideways.
Ready to show his true love’s father that love conquers all, he arrived at the girl lobster’s house. As he is making his way up the sidewalk, in a perfectly straight forward line, he hears from inside the house, “That does it, Lola, (girl lobster’s name apparently) that good-for-nothing crab is here, and he’s already drunk.”

There are no hipster lobsters…
…In a Maine stream.

Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!

What do you call a lobster that goes to church?
A christacean.

What did the lobster cowboy say?
“Yee-claw!”

What happened to the crustacean that was late for work?
She lobster job.

Why was the lobster having a bad morning?
He was feeling a little crusty.

Recommended: Dolphin Jokes

Which furniture do lobsters build?
Crabinets.

A lobster swam into an underwater restaurant.
He asked the waiter for a beer, but the waiter said he couldn’t serve him because it was a dry county.

Why don’t lobsters ever get lost?
They always follow the current trends.

When the lobster chef got pinched, what did people say?
He was shell-shocked.

What’s a lobster’s favorite instrument?
The claw-rinet!