Desserts are like the grand finale of any meal, the sweet drumroll before your stomach waves a white flag. From creamy scoops to crumbly delights, they sneak into your heart faster than you can say “just one bite.” The best part? Dessert doesn’t judge. It doesn’t care if you’ve had three slices already, it just smiles back and says, “Go on, life’s short.”
Now, dessert jokes are like the whipped cream on top of the fun. They take that sugary goodness and turn it into laughter you can almost taste. It’s the kind of humor that makes your brain giggle while your mouth still craves a brownie. Dessert jokes remind us that even a cupcake can have a sense of humor and that laughter, much like sugar, is best enjoyed in generous portions.

Best Dessert Jokes

What does a Jedi on a budget eat for dessert?
Only one Cannoli.

What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not actually ice scream. It’s actually terror-misu.

What’s that Italian dessert called where you pour espresso coffee over ice cream?
Everyone I ask can’t remember either.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Ice cream.
(Ice cream who?)
Ice cream, if you don’t let me in!

A private goes AWOL from the Army to follow his calling as a pastry chef, but gets caught and arrested.
He was eventually court-martialed and sentenced to five years in prison for being a desserter.

What’s a cop’s least favorite dessert?
Crime brulee.

After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.
“Can I ask you something?” I said.
“Certainly,” he replied.
I said, “Why did you just eat my food?”

What kind of dessert makes women gain the most weight?
Wedding Cake.

Yo mama so fat, she swallowed her pride hoping for dessert.

Why would Rick Astley make a terrible waiter?
He would never dessert you.

What’s the difference between the Sahara and Jello?
One is an inhospitable desert and the other is an in hospital dessert.

A Polish guy is walking down the street in Chicago when he sees a sign outside a bar: “Polish Special: Dinner and a Cruise, $3.00!” So the guy walks in. Immediately, he is hit in the head and knocked out.
When he wakes up, he’s floating in Lake Michigan in a barrel with an apple in his lap. He looks around and sees another guy floating in a barrel about 20 feet away.
“Hey!” he yells. “Do we get dessert on this cruise?”
And the other guy says, “We didn’t last year.”

What’s the difference between a cold dessert and an injured girlfriend?
One is ice cream and the other is a sore bae.

What do you get if you eat 3.14 desserts?
You probably get fat.

What’s a Volcano’s favorite dessert?
BakLava.

Why’s it a bad idea to eat mushrooms for dinner?
Because you won’t have mushroom left for dessert.

A priest says to his friend, the rabbi, that he has developed a plan of eating for free in really good restaurants.
“I simply go in at well past 9 pm, eat several courses slowly, and linger over coffee and dessert until they are cleaning up. I keep sitting there until eventually a waiter comes up and asks me to pay. Then I say, ‘I’ve already paid my original waiter, who has left for the night.’ And, because I am a man of the cloth, the waiter takes my word for it, and I just simply walk out the front door as calm as can be.”
The rabbi, clearly impressed, says, “Let’s try it together this evening.”
The priest agrees and books them into an expensive, 4-star French restaurant.
They both eat like kings and, just as before, they are both sitting quietly after enjoying their very full meal, a waiter comes over and hands the priest and the rabbi a bill and asks them to pay.
The priest calmly says: “I’ve already paid our original waiter.” (who apparently left for the evening).
And then the rabbi adds, “And we’re still waiting for the change!”

A man is stranded on a dessert island…
And it was delicious.

Did you hear about the criminal who stole everyone’s dessert?
The police have taken him into custardy!

What do Women’s Studies majors like after dessert?
A tip.

What desserts make the most money?
Profiteroles.

Mark went to a restaurant recently. The menu had badger soup as the starter…
This was followed by a main of roast badger, and for dessert was badger ice cream.
Mark said to the waiter, “Excuse me. Do you have anything else other than badger?”
“I’m afraid not, sir,” replied the waiter, “It’s a sett menu.”

What’s John Stockton’s favorite dessert?
The pecan roll.

What was in the bowl of angry desserts?
Cuss-turds.

Synonym buns and synonym rolls are basically the same dessert.

There are a lot of bad jokes. Especially the one about the dessert thief…
That one really takes the cake.

What is a private investigator’s favorite dessert?
Pi.

A man and his wife excitedly visit Texas.
They spend the day exploring the sights of San Antonio. After walking around the city, they sit down at a local diner and enjoy a delicious American meal of buffalo wings and burgers.
As they’re finishing up, their waitress, speaking in a warm Southern drawl, comes over and says, “Y’all want some dessert? My pie is to die for.”
The man says, “Sure, I’ll have a slice of apple.” The wife adds, “Just a coffee for me.” The man continues, “Oh, and a scoop of ice cream with that pie.”
The waitress nods and repeats the order as she scribbles on her notepad: “Okay, a coffee for the lady, and some apple pie for the gent.” She turns to leave.
The man calls after her, “Wait! What about my ice cream?”
The waitress keeps walking, unfazed.
Frustrated, the man stands up and yells, “REMEMBER THE À LA MODE!”

Donald Trump’s menu from Walter Reed has been leaked.
He’s eating just desserts.

I have a friend from Puerto Rico who is a dessert chef. I asked her to make something for the St. Patrick’s Day party.
She made flan again.

What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler.

Mrs Linda’s doctor said don’t eat anything fatty…
She said, “What do you mean? Fries, steak, dessert?”
He said, “No, fatty. Don’t eat anything.”

What’s a grammar teacher’s favorite dessert?
Synonym rolls!

What dessert can you only get online?
E-claires.

Recommended: Adult Dessert Jokes

Bob and a few of his coworkers go out to lunch to celebrate Bob’s birthday.
Bob, Tim, and Susan are sitting together in the booth when the waitress approaches. She hands them their menus and says, “Good afternoon fellas! Welcome to Ruby Taste Kitchen! Before we get started, might I ask if you’re here to celebrate a special occasion?”
Susan pipes up, “It’s Bob’s birthday!”
“Oh well, happy birthday! Make sure you save room because you’ll get a free dessert!”
Tim and Susan smile and nod, but Bob looks a bit confused. He asks her to repeat herself.
“Sure thing, happy birthday! Save room and you’ll get a free dessert.”
There’s a moment of silence before Bob says, “Vroom, vroom!”

What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet?
A desserter.

Why should you always visit the ocean to get dessert?
Because it has the best pie rates!

What is a Jehovah’s Witness’s favorite thing to eat for dessert?
Ding Dongs!

Rene Descartes is having dinner alone at a restaurant when he finishes his meal. The waiter approaches and says, “And will Monsieur be having dessert?”
“I think not,” Descartes replies.
Poof! He disappears.

Why did the teddy bear pass on dessert?
He was already stuffed.

What dessert best describes your girlfriend after a workout?
Sorbet.

What’s a geologist’s favorite dessert?
Pyrite.

When you are stressed, you eat ice cream, cake, cookies, and sweets. Why?
Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

There was once a pastry competition.
Many bakers submitted their desserts to the contest, but the judges were torn between two Italian chefs’ pastries.
They said to the chefs, “We would love for both of you to win… But there cannoli be one.”

What’s a mathematician’s favorite dessert?
The proof is in the pudding.

“Waiter! Why does my dessert have a shoe print in it?”
“Sir, you did say, ‘Apple pie and step on it!’”

What is the Pope’s favorite dessert?
Popesicles.

People make fake IDs to get into bars.
That’s all well and good, but I’d rather have 365 IDs that have different birthdays on them so I could get free desserts at every restaurant I go to
Just makes sense, really.

What do you call someone who quits their job at Dairy Queen?
A desserter.

What dessert always comes back to you when you throw it away?
A Blue Meringue.

Where is bad dessert taken?
Into custard-y!

What kind of dessert comes out of a musical volcano?
Bach Lava.

An American white guy visits India.
Wanting to get a more authentic experience, he goes to an Indian restaurant and tells them to serve him their specials, no questions asked. After eating a few bites, he calls the waiter and says, “Hey, this is brilliant food, but I just have a tiny request. This is a tad bit too spicy for my taste, so could you please ask the chef to make my food less spicy than this, please?”
The waiter, perplexed, looks at the man and says, “Sir, ….this is dessert.”

What did the cannibal have for dessert?
A sweetheart!

What does a camel do on a pudding?
Walks through the dessert.

What do cats have for dessert?
Mice Crispies.

What’s Bill Gates’s favorite dessert?
Apple turnover.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. “On my walk over here, I saw an apple pie, a melted chocolate sundae, and a piece of cake all lying scattered along the side of the road,” the guy tells the bartender.
“The streets are oddly desserted tonight.”

Recommended: Pie Jokes

Why didn’t the expired dessert get invited to the party?
It was very off pudding.

What’s Adele’s favorite dessert?
Jello from the other side.

Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef?
They’ll dessert you.

What’s a deer’s favorite dessert?
Doe-nuts.
How much does each one cost the deer?
One buck.

Why couldn’t the Germans find their dessert?
Because it was stollen.

What do you call a hilarious dessert?
A funny way of pudding it.

How do Muslims like their desserts?
Allah mode.

What dessert can play movies?
Creme Blu-ray.

Recommended: Ice Cream Jokes

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Pudding!
(Pudding who?)
Pudding your shoes on before your trousers is a silly idea!

What kind of dessert do you make to celebrate climate change?
Baked Alaska.