70 Funny Ice Cream Jokes to Help You Beat The Red Heat

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Jessica Amlee

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Ice cream jokes have a unique way of melting hearts and tickling funny bones, regardless of the season. These delightful quips bring out the child in all of us as we reminisce about the sweet joys of indulging in our favorite frozen treats.

From one-liners about flavors and toppings to jokes about scoops and cones, ice cream humor has a universal appeal that transcends time and temperature. Sharing these lighthearted jests with friends and family not only spreads laughter, but also rekindles fond memories of ice cream parlors, sundae bars, and dessert-filled celebrations. So, let’s dive into the delicious world of ice cream jokes, and together, savor the sweet taste of humor that can brighten any day, no matter the weather.

Best Ice Cream Jokes

What’s that Italian dessert called where you pour espresso coffee over ice cream?
Everyone we ask can’t remember either.

I am broken when my name is spoken. What am I?
McDonald’s ice cream machine.

Where do you learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.

Yo mama so fat, her favorite ringtone is ice cream truck.

Walking down the road last night, a man passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
He thought, “The streets are strangely desserted tonight.”

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Ice cream soda
(Ice cream soda who?)
Ice cream soda whole neighborhood can hear me!

Which celebrity is always ready for ice cream?
Reese, with her spoon.

What do children and ice cream have in common?
They’re sweet but they sometimes give you a headache.

What kind of ice cream do they sell at airports
Plain ice cream.

Why couldn’t Neo eat his Ice cream?
Because there is no spoon.

Did you hear about the ice cream van that crashed?
The driver blamed it on the rocky road.

How do tree’s like their ice cream?
In a pine cone.

Recommended: Ice Cream Memes

A guy with a whimpering faint voice orders an ice cream.
The vendor asks, “Crushed nuts?”
The guy whimpers back, “No. Laryngitis.”

Yo mama so dumb, she bought chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and it melted in the oven.

Did you hear about the day when Hagrid took Harry, mashed him up, put him in a blender with ice cream and drank him?
Yer a Blizzard, Harry.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Felix who?)
Felix my ice cream, I’ll lick his!

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

Daughter: Dad why are you scooping ice cream with a knife?
Dad: The spoon just won’t cut it.

A man asked his girlfriend if she’d like a day of eating ice cream and hanging out with her girlfriends.
She said “Yes!”
He said, “Good, because I’m breaking up with you.”

In what way is ice cream like a first date?
You’re a psychopath if you eat either at room temperature.

Do you know that you can’t eat ice cream in the military?
Apparently, you get arrested for desserting.

Did you hear about a lactose intolerant man who sells ice cream for a living?
He can’t take it, but he can dish it out.

Recommended: Lactose Intolerant Jokes

What’s a cat’s favorite ice cream?
Mice cream.

A little girl asks her father: “Daddy, what is corruption?”
“Go bring me a beer and I’ll tell you.”
“But mommy said you should stop drinking!”
“Get yourself an ice-cream too while you bring me that beer.”
“Oh, okay!”

What are the only two ingredients to ice cream soup?
Ice cream and patience.

What did Missy Elliot say to customers when she opened her new ice cream shop?
“Get your free cone!”

Yo mama so dumb, when she tried to eat ice cream she tried to defrost it first.

Why did the ice cream carry an umbrella?
Because theirs always a chance of sprinkles.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Ice cream.
(Ice cream who?)
Ice cream if you don’t let me in!

Does anyone feel like an ice cream?
Funny, you don’t look like an ice cream.

What do you call a fraudulent ice cream vendor?
A cone artist.

How do you tell if your ice cream is past its use by date?
You use a stetho-scoop.

Recommended: Dirty Ice Cream Jokes

What do you call a robbery of Italian ice cream?
Grand Theft Gelato.

One day, the ice cream shop receives a visitor, a young boy. “Welcome, you came to the right place for your ice cream needs, young man!” says the shopkeeper. While still at the door, the little boy asks, “Do you guys have onion-flavored ice cream?” The man is taken aback and says, “No, we don’t, sorry.” The boy departs.
The following day, at the same time as the boy arrives, The shopkeeper says, “Welcome” out of habit, but when he sees the youngster, he silences himself, thinking the boy is insane. “Do you have onion-flavored ice cream?” the boy inquires. “No, we don’t,” answers the man.
That went on for about two or three weeks until the man thought to himself, “You know, why don’t I make onion-flavored ice cream for the little guy?” and he worked all night to make it perfect.
“Welcome,” says the shopkeeper the next day when the boy arrives. “Do you have onion-flavoured ice cream?” the boy asks. “Yes, we do,” the man says excitedly.
The boy then says, “Wow you guys must be retarded! Who would buy that shit?!!”

What is Dracula’s favorite flavor of ice cream?

Why won’t Rick Astley ever take his girlfriend out for an ice cream date?
Cause he’ll never dessert you.

Why are McDonald’s ice cream machines not allowed in the court room?
Because they’re always out of order.

What is Homer Simpson’s favorite ice cream?
Cookie D’OH!

What do you call an electronically mixed ice cream treat?
E-stirred Sundae!

A young boy walks into a barbershop, and the barber signals to the customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Wait until I prove it to you.”
“Which do you want, son?” the barber asks, holding a dollar note in one hand and two quarters in the other. The boy exits with the quarters.
“What did I tell you?” the barber asked. “That kid just never learns!”
Later, when the customer is leaving, he notices the same young boy exiting the ice cream shop.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

Why do Texans serve pie with ice cream?
They remember the a la mode.

What do you say if an ice-cream franchise can’t pay its power bills?
Guess it will go into liquidation.

Recommended: National Ice Cream Day Memes

What would you have if you wrapped ice cream in a tortilla?
A Brrrrr-ito.

Why was the ice cream bad at tennis?
It had a soft serve.

Why did the tabloid newspaper cover the ice cream festival?
It’s where they found the tastiest scoops.

The ice cream truck is going down the street.
And a lady runs after it but it doesn’t see her and keeps going. She keeps following until the driver sees her in his mirror. He stops and she’s out of breath.
The Truck driver says, “Hey, sorry about that, I didn’t see you, what can I get you?”
Out of breath she says, “I just wanted to tell you…I’m vegan.”

What do you call a scoop of ice cream in your hand?
Palm Sundae.

Why was the religious chef sacked from the ice-cream parlor?
He refused to work on sundaes.

What do you call an ice cream parlor owned by a mob boss?
A cold front.

What is a time traveler’s favorite ice cream?

The cast of The Wizard of Oz goes out for ice cream.
The Lion stops licking his cone, yelling, “Ouch!” and gripping his temples.
The Tinman stops licking his cone, yelling, “Ouch!” and gripping his temples.
Dorothy stops licking her cone, yelling, “Ouch!” and gripping her temples.
The Scarecrow says, “What’s the matter with you guys?”

What do you call an old Western TV series where half the cast likes ice cream, and the other half doesn’t?
Bonanza split.

What’s the difference between vanilla ice cream and French vanilla ice cream?
One has an accent.

What do you call it when you go back for another helping of ice cream?

What’s Chewbacca’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Wookie Dough.

What do you call a second scoop of ice cream?
An ice cream clone.

A gorilla walks into a restaurant.
He sits down at a booth and a waitress comes over to take his order. He orders an ice cream sundae. The waitress goes back into the kitchen, gets him an ice cream sundae, and takes it to his table. She sees that the animal is holding out a twenty-dollar bill. Well, now the waitress is just at a loss for words. She can’t believe that a gorilla walked into her restaurant, ordered a ice cream sundae, and then actually had a twenty-dollar bill to pay for it.

Why did the reporter go to the ice cream shop every day?
He liked his daily scoop.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Revenge is also sweet.
In other words, revenge is ice cream.

How do I cope with the echo in a glacier cave?
Ice cream.

A panda walks into an ice cream parlor.
When asked what it wants, the panda replies, “Any bear-y flavor will do.”

What is a tiger’s favorite ice cream?
Carole Baskin & Robbins.

What did the communist call his ice cream stand?
Hammer and Popsicle.

So, in amazement, she takes the twenty and walks to the cash register to make the change. While he’s standing in front of the cash register she stops for a second and thinks to himself, “Let me try something here and see if the gorilla notices anything.”
So she walks back over to the gorilla and hands him a five-dollar change. The gorilla doesn’t say anything, he just sits there eating his ice cream. After a few minutes, the waitress just can’t take it anymore.
“You know,” she says to the gorilla, “we don’t get too many gorillas in here.”
The Gorilla replies, “You charge $15 for an ice cream sundae, I’m not surprised.”

What kind of ice cream do drunk drivers like?
Soft swerve!

What is Adam Ant’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Standard vanilla.

Recommended: Milk Jokes

What did the werewolf order from the ice cream shop?
AWOOOOOOtbeer float!

Did you know Sylvester Stallone’s drive way is named after ice cream?
It’s named Rocky Road.

What is a cowboy’s favorite ice cream?

Why was the ice cream sad after his divorce?
He lost custard-y.

Do you have another ice cream joke? Post your funny jokes about ice cream in the comment section below.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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