Jessica Amlee
Pie is always a nice idea, especially at this time of year! We usually stuff our Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas dessert presentation with seasonal pies like pumpkin and cranberry-orange. But there are other situations when the pie is appropriate. For example, at a summer barbecue, key lime pie and strawberry pie make gorgeous warm-weather treats. However, you don’t need an excuse to prepare a handmade pie or to crack a joke. Are you looking for pie jokes? We’ve got it all here!
Best Pie Jokes
Did you know that 1 slice of apple pie will cost you $2.45 in Jamaica and the same will cost $3.75 in Trinidad and $4.45 in Barbados?
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
What kind of eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie?
That’s a Moray.
Where do you go to weigh a pie?
Somewhere, over the rainbow.
Do you know what a baby is?
It is just a fully baked cream pie.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Wendy.
(Wendy who?)
Wendy moon hits your eyes like a big pizza pie.
Yo mama so fat, she thought PewDiePie was a dessert!
Why is it hard to work at an apple pie factory?
They have such a high turnover rate.
What’s the difference between pie and cake?
πr2 , cake are round.
How does Davey Crockett take his pie?
Alamo’ed.
Did you hear about a local shop having a pie sale?
3.1 for 2.
Did you ever hear about the man who set pastries on fire?
He was a self proclaimed pie-ro-maniac.
How easy is it to stroll along on pies?
Well, it’s no cakewalk.
Where can you weigh a pie?
Somewhere over the rainbow.
Customer: Waiter! Why does my dessert have a shoe print on it?
Waiter: Sir, you did say, “Apple pie and step on it!”
A boy walks into a bakery.
He walks up to the counter and asks the baker, “Do you have cucumber pie?”
“We don’t, sorry,” says the baker.
The following day, the same boy visits the bakery again, comes up to the counter, and asks the baker, “You got cucumber pie?”
“We still don’t, sorry!” says the baker.
After the youngster leaves, the baker goes to see his wife and says, “There’s this kid that has been asking for cucumber pie for 2 days now, I’m going to bake him one for tomorrow”.
So the next day, the same kid comes to bakery, walks up to the counter, and asks the baker, “You got cucumber pie?”
The baker, really happy with himself gladly answers, “Yeah, we do actually!”
And the kid goes “Isn’t it gross?”
What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?
Diabetes.
Recommended: Diabetes Jokes
At what temperature do you bake two pies?
360 degrees.
What’s the problem with eating too much pumpkin pie during fall?
You’ll get autumn’y ache.
What kind of mage uses pastries to seduce people?
A pie romancer.
What’s a monkey’s favorite dessert?
Lemon Morangutan Pie.
What did Yoda say when the bakery was out of Pies?
Dough. Or Doughnut. There is no Pie.
What does a Mathematician say when he eats too much pie?
√(-1/64)
A boy with no legs tried to get attention from the baker across the street.
He loved the smell of pies wafting from the shop window, but since he had no legs, he cannot reach the baker.
So he wrote a message on a dollar note, folded it into a paper plane, and threw it across the street.
The baker turned his head and was surprised to see a paper dollar plane fly through his window. He picked it up, and read the message on the note.
It said: Notice me, send pie.
How do you make Pumpkin Pie?
Take the circumference of the pumpkin and divide it by the diameter of the pumpkin.
How do Muslims like their pies?
Allah mode!
What did they call the first person to bake a pie?
A pie-oneer.
What do you call a mud pie on April 22?
An Earthday cake!
What do a burnt pie, a frozen beer, and a pregnant girl have in common?
An idiot that didn’t pull out in time.
Why did the pie cross the road?
Because it was meetin’ potato.
Who was the largest knight at the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Why was he so fat?
He ate too much pie.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
Yo mama so fat, she got kicked out of math class for trying to eat the pie chart.
What’s the difference between a poorly baked pastry dish and a cash-grabbing prick?
One’s a shit pie and the other’s Ajit Pai.
Why did the apple pie go to the dentist?
Because it needed a filling!
Why do Texans serve pie with ice cream?
They remember the a la mode.
Why don’t mathematicians eat pizza?
Because even half a slice is pie over ate.
Why did the mathematician wake up at 3:14 am?
He craved a pie.
How do you find the circumference of a Granny Smith?
You use apple pie.
What do you call a pie that you don’t know the flavor of?
A surpies.
What’s an ironworker’s favorite type of pie?
Strawberry Rebarb.
What happens to a baker if they steal another’s cream pie recipe?
They get taken into custard-y.
A politician was crossing a pasture when he stepped into something soft.
He immediately stopped and looked down to see his foot completely covered in a large cow-pie.
Standing still, he cried out in terror, “Please someone help me, I’m melting!”
What do you get when you take the circumference of a jack-o-lantern?
Pumpkin pie!
Recommended: Jack O’ Lantern Jokes
How do you make pie last forever?
Remove the ‘e’.
What do you call a tiny pie in a cockpit?
A pie-let.
What do you get if you put an iPhone in the oven?”
Apple Pie.
What do you call a rodent that steals your dessert?
Pie-rat.
What did the fire sorcerer like most about the movie American Pie?
The pie romancing.
What is the prettiest pie?
A pumpkin pie, it’s Gourd-geous.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pie?
A pie-thon.
What do you call it when an Australian heckler throws a pie in your face?
Boo meringue.
Recommended: Australian Jokes
Why do cakes make more sense than pies?
Because Pi(e) is irrational.
What is the Australian dynamite’s favorite pie?
Boom meringue.
How does Rocky eat his pie?
Sliced alone.
What do a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
Why wouldn’t the Army cook ever serve cake, ice cream, or pies?
He was afraid of being charged with dessert-tion.
Who is the inventor of trap music?
The pied piper of Hamelin.
What’s more American than a red white and blue apple pie?
A red white and blue apple pie with a gun inside it.
What do you call a bathroom with an octopus inside?
Octo-pied.
Why do pies like mistletoe?
Because they like to pukka up.
Recommended: Mistletoe Jokes
What do you call a stack of pies?
A pile.
What kind of pie does a smartphone eat?
App-ful pie.
What do you call a bunch of rodents in a bakery?
Pie-rats.
What is the plural of compass?
Cum pie.
What’s great on pie but terrible on pussy?
Crust.
What pastry dish can you make out of octopuses?
Octo-pie.
Which reptiles have the sweetest bottoms?
Pie thongs.
Do you ever stick your dick in pecan pie?
It’s fucking nuts.
Recommended: Bagel Jokes
What did the rednecks do for Thanksgiving?
Pump kin pie.
Have a better pie joke? Post your own pie puns and one-liners in the comment section!
