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Why can't dyslexic people tell jokes?
They always punch up the fuckline.
They always punch up the fuckline.
See lessWhy did the Jew cross the road?
His nose was already on the other side.
His nose was already on the other side.
See lessWhy did the banana split?
Because it saw the ice cream!
Because it saw the ice cream!
See lessWhy do emo kids hate high fives?
They're always left hanging.
They’re always left hanging.
See lessWhy was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
See lessWhy did the ginger cross the road?
To buy sunscreen.
To buy sunscreen.
See lessWhat is Clement Freud's £20 joke?
I heard a rather nice story about a man who drank a lot and his wife said, "If you ever come home drunk again, I'm going to leave you." He went out to a pub and drank a lot and threw up all over himself, and said to his friend, "If I come home like this my wife will leave me." His friend said, "I teRead more
I heard a rather nice story about a man who drank a lot and his wife said, “If you ever come home drunk again, I’m going to leave you.”
See lessHe went out to a pub and drank a lot and threw up all over himself, and said to his friend, “If I come home like this my wife will leave me.”
His friend said, “I tell you what, go home and tell her somebody threw up over you and put a twenty-pound note in your inside jacket pocket, show it to her and tell her he gave you this for the dry-cleaning bill.”
He comes home and his wife sees him and is furious, but he jumps in, “No, no, no, somebody threw up over me and gave me twenty-pound for the cleaning bill.”
She said, “Well, why have you got two twenty-pound notes in your hand?” And he said, “Oh the other one is from the man who shat in my pants.”
Why 69 when you can 919?
I feel the others have a much better explanation. But 919 is also known as a grading system for women. 919 is the hottest you can get. The first 9 represents the face (0-9) 9 is the best. The 1 represents whether or not you would sleep with this girl (this number is either a 1 or a 0, 1 you will, 0Read more
I feel the others have a much better explanation. But 919 is also known as a grading system for women. 919 is the hottest you can get.
See lessThe first 9 represents the face (0-9) 9 is the best.
The 1 represents whether or not you would sleep with this girl (this number is either a 1 or a 0, 1 you will, 0 you won’t)
The last 9 represents this person’s body (0-9, 9 being the sexiest body and 0 being the most worst).
What's the best cheese to lure a bear out of a cave?
Camembert.
Camembert.
See lessWhat's the banana knock knock joke?
Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) Banana. (Banana who?) Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) Banana. (Banana who?) Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) Orange. (Orange who?) ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN’T SAY BANANA!
Knock, knock.
See less(Who’s there?)
Banana.
(Banana who?)
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Banana.
(Banana who?)
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Orange.
(Orange who?)
ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN’T SAY BANANA!