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What's the best cheese to lure a bear out of a cave?
Camembert.
Camembert.
See lessWhat's the banana knock knock joke?
Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) Banana. (Banana who?) Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) Banana. (Banana who?) Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) Orange. (Orange who?) ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN’T SAY BANANA!
Knock, knock.
See less(Who’s there?)
Banana.
(Banana who?)
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Banana.
(Banana who?)
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Orange.
(Orange who?)
ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN’T SAY BANANA!
Why doesn't mistletoe grow up dogwood trees?
It's afraid of the bark.
It’s afraid of the bark.
See lessHow did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents.
He felt his presents.
See lessWhat was Santa's favorite subject in school?
Chemis-tree!
Chemis-tree!
See lessWhy did the snowman go to the dentist?
To fix his frostbite!
To fix his frostbite!
See lessWhat are your best Henry Kissinger jokes?
Henry Kissinger said “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.” "I beg to differ" said the necrophiliac.
Henry Kissinger said “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”
See less“I beg to differ” said the necrophiliac.
What is the Got any grapes joke?
A duck walks into a bar and asks "Got any grapes?" Bartender says "What? Grapes? No, this is a bar, not a fruit store. Get out, duck" The next day the duck comes back, "Got any grapes?" Bartender says "Dammit duck, I told you to get out. Quit coming here asking for grapes or I'm going to nail your bRead more
A duck walks into a bar and asks “Got any grapes?”
See lessBartender says “What? Grapes? No, this is a bar, not a fruit store. Get out, duck”
The next day the duck comes back, “Got any grapes?”
Bartender says “Dammit duck, I told you to get out. Quit coming here asking for grapes or I’m going to nail your beak to a barstool.
The next day the duck comes back, “Can I borrow a hammer?”
The bartender is furious, “What’s with you duck? Does this look like a hardware store? It’s a bar! I don’t have any hammers here!”
Duck grins, “Good. Got any grapes?”
Did you hear about the kid born without eyelids?
Fortunately, doctors were able to use his foreskin to create functional eyelids. While an overall success, the surgery did leave him a little c*ck-eyed.
Fortunately, doctors were able to use his foreskin to create functional eyelids. While an overall success, the surgery did leave him a little c*ck-eyed.
See lessWhat do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philippe Flop.
Philippe Flop.
See less