A band is a small team of friends who carry instruments like brave luggage and chase one shared sound from garage to stage. The drummer is always late, the guitarist is always tuning, and the singer talks to everyone like the crowd is already cheering. They practice, argue, laugh, and keep going because the music feels bigger than the noise they make along the way, and they learn that every rehearsal is a tiny adventure that leads to the same door, that is where the fun begins.
That is where the fun begins when band jokes step onto the scene and follow the group like a friendly shadow. These jokes are born from missed beats, tangled cables, and serious faces trying very hard not to smile, turning small struggles into stories worth retelling. They glue the band together, help the nerves calm down, and remind everyone that music is better when it comes with laughter, even before the first note is played.
Best Band Jokes
Why is Metallica the safest band to listen to in an airport?
Because they haven’t set off a metal detector since 1989.
I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat.’
You’ve probably seen our posters.
Have you ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they’ve never had a hit.
What’s Sisyphus’s least favorite band?
Rolling Stones.
I’m in a band called “The Palindromes.”
Our first single is called “If I had a HiFi.”
What’s the most important part of a heavy metal band?
The lead singer.
What do you call a heavy metal band with financial problems?
Megadebt.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Tuna.
(Tuna who?)
Tuna your bango and you can be in our band.
If Ellen DeGeneres and Anakin Skywalker formed a band, what kind of music would they play?
Elle-Vader music.
What do you call a group of whales in a band?
An orca-stra.
Did you hear about the musical group composed of dads?
A pop band!
Two new recruits were on the deck of a ship.
One turns to the other and says, “Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. Isn’t it?”
Another recruit replies, “Everyone must be watching the band.”
“There is no band on this ship.”
“No, I definitely heard the captain say, a band on ship.”
If you ask me what my favorite rock band is and I’m being subjective, I’d say The Who.
If I was being objective, I’d say it was The Whom.
If Marie Antoinette, Anne Boleyn, Charles I, and Louis XVI formed a band, what would its name be?
The Talking Heads.
I started an emo salsa band.
We’re called Hispanic at the Disco.
Why did they let the chicken join the band?
Because he brought his own drumsticks.
I went to a Russian Bee Gees cover band concert last week.
The KGBGs.
A virus is making people forget ’80s rock bands.
Nobody knows The Cure.
What do you call a Japanese cover band playing 70s music?
Mitsubeegees
Paddy was coming back from his holiday in America.
As he came through Customs, he had two sacks over his shoulder. The Customs officer asked him what he had in the sacks? Paddy replied Mobile phones.
The customs officer didn’t believe him and asked to be shown. Paddy opened each sack, and sure enough, both sacks contained quite a few phones. “What are you going to do with all these mobile phones asked the officer.
“Oh, they are not for me. My mate Mick, who is in a band, knew I was going over to America asked me to bring him back two saxophones.
What do you call a cow in a band?
A moosician.
We had a band in High School called 1023 Megabytes.
We never made it to a gig.
If a woman hangs around a rock band, they call her a groupie. But what do you call a guy who hangs around a rock band?
A drummer.
What is Indiana Jones’ least favorite band?
Rolling Stones.
Yo mama so stupid, she thinks that the Stone Age was a rock band.
I used to play the triangle in a reggae band.
But I got bored and quit because it was just one ting after another.
What’s the favorite band at the Alzheimer’s home?
“The who?!”
Do you hear about the all-LBGT furry band?
The name Pride Rock.
John manages a band where his dog plays guitar, and his cat sings.
Everyone is amazed, and no one understands how they are doing it, and the band becomes a huge hit. They travel around the country, and John makes a lot of money from the band’s success.
Eventually, word spreads to Italy, and Berlusconi wants to hear the band live. He invites John to Rome, and John arrives with his dog and cat, ready to perform.
Before they play, Berlusconi begins the conversation and asks, “John, I do not care about your actual band, I just want to know the secret. How do you do it?”
John answers, “I do not do anything. The dog plays guitar, and the cat sings. It is that simple.”
Berlusconi presses him and responds, “Come on, John, just tell me. There is no way this is real.”
John pushes back and explains, “Look, this is my livelihood. I cannot go around telling the secret. I make a career out of this.”
Berlusconi insists and offers, “Money is nothing to me. I will pay you whatever you want. Just tell me how you do it.”
John finally admits, “Alright, I will tell you. The dog plays guitar and sings. The cat just moves its mouth and pretends.”
What do you call a music group consisting of only married men?
A Hus Band.
We kicked the drummer out if the band because his timing was awful.
He was so upset he went to the station and threw himself behind a train.
If Will Smith, Amber Heard, and Chris Brown formed a band, what would its name be?
The Heavy Hitters.
Yo mama so fat, she jumped on the dance floor and made the band skip.
What is a pirate’s favorite band?
Sea Sea Arrrr!
I like to pick girls up at cover band concerts.
Since I already know they’re willing to settle.
What do you call a computerized rock band?
ASCII/DSCII.
Which band witnesses the most murders?
Counting crows.
The doctor looks at the report and explains, “You have a disease, but we can treat it.”
The patient looks worried and asks, “What’s the cure?”
The doctor pauses, then replies with a straight face, “It’s an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith, but let’s try to stay focused…”
What’s the safest band to air drum to while driving?
Def Leppard.
I had my picture taken with the band R.E.M. once…
That’s me in the corner.
What happened to Tom Petty’s band after he passed away?
Now they are just Heartbroken,
I like to sleep with a fan on me at night.
It’s why I’m divorcing my wife to join a band.
What’s Donald Trump’s least favorite band?
Foreigner.
I used to be in a band called “The Hinges.”
We opened for The Doors.
A fifteen-year-old kid gets an upright bass and starts to take lessons.
After his first lesson, his dad asks him, “What did you learn today?” “I learned to play the A note.” After his second lesson, his dad asks again, and he responds, “I learned to play the D note.” After his third lesson, his dad asks again, and he responds, “I learned to play the E note.” After the fourth lesson, his dad asks, and the kid responds, “I don’t need lessons anymore. I’ve got a gig with a bluegrass band.”
Did you hear about the bed bug band?
They mostly play covers.
Which four-member rock group doesn’t sing or play music?
Mount Rushmore.
Just met a woman who said she was a huge Monkees fan.
She told me she had collected every piece of merchandise ever made for the band. I was skeptical. Then I saw her place…
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Weevil.
(Weevil who?)
Weevil, weevil ROCK YOU!
What’s Santa’s favorite heavy metal band?
Sleigher.
I have a Polish friend who is a roadie for a band.
I have a Czech one too. A Czech one too. Czech one too.
According to fellow band members, Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler handles a pen very femininely. Rumour has it he doodles like a lady.
Did you hear about an old Australian band whose knees are bad?
They’re changing the name of the band to ACL/DCL.
A little Mexican girl dreamed of playing the guitar.
Her name was Maria. She was very poor, but she knew that one day she would be a famous entertainer. One sunny morning, she discovered a makeshift vihuela abandoned behind a local shop. Ecstatic, she raced home and immediately started practicing.
While carefully fingering a chord outside of her house, a Taoist monk passed by. He was filled with such joy that he placed his hand upon her head and blessed her. Suddenly, her hands flew across the strings, gracefully, as if she had been born with the instrument.
In the coming years, Maria held dear the meditative powers passed on to her by the monk, and she eventually became the leader of a magnificent five-piece band.
And that is the story of how Maria Chi came to be.
Did you hear about the lumberjack and the mathematician who formed a band?
They called themselves The Loggerhythms.
Why did the neurodiverse band break up?
Autistic differences.
A man asks a bartender: “How late does the band play?”
“Only about half a beat behind the drummer.” The bartender replies.
What do you call a band that’s obsessed with typography?
Itallica.
I don’t understand why Ice Cube hates the police so much…
They are a really good band
What’s Indiana Jones’s least favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
Why should you never join a band with a turkey on drums?
You’ll regret it. He usually forgets his drumsticks so he has to wing it.
There once was a man named Mr. Evans who pursued a law degree, even though his passion was music. All through law school, he yearned to drop out and play in a cover band, singing Beatles songs all night to a crowd of fans. Eventually, though, the man became a lawyer instead.
Through the years, he became a highly esteemed practitioner of law. He rose in his practice of jurisprudence until one day he even became a county judge. He came home and told his wife that he still wasn’t satisfied. Despite everything, singing the Beatles was still his dream. She told her next-door neighbor, Megan, who told her husband, Tom.
Tom said, “We’ve known Judge Evans his whole life. He’s getting to retirement age. It’d be a shame if he never got to realize his true dream.”
Megan agreed, and after talking with Mrs. Evans, they conspired to make the judge’s dream come true. For Meg and Tom’s 30th anniversary party, they’d ask Judge Evans to play music.
Judge Evans showed up to Meg and Tom’s house. He was sheepish, but agreed to sing “Hey Jude.” To Tom’s surprise, he sounded just like John Lennon! They gave him the gig without a second thought.
Elated, Mr. Evans called up a few of his buddies down at the country club and found a drummer, a bass player, and a guitarist. They wore bell-bottoms and headbands, even looking the part!
The group showed up to the party and started singing “Yellow Submarine.” To Meg and Tom’s horror, the guitar was out of tune, the drummer was off-beat, and Mr. Evans’ accompanying vocalists were atrocious.
Tom turned to Meg and said, “I guess we should’ve listened to the age-old adage.”
“Oh?” Meg asked.
“Never book a Judge by his cover.”
Had to quit my band after nobody came to any of our gigs.
Going to miss the boys from “Private Function”.
What’s the difference between alcohol and weed?
Five drunk guys will start a fight. Five stoned guys will start a band.
Steve Winwood once asked me to be a part of his band.
Ultimately, I declined his offer after remembering what my dad always told me.
“Son, remember to never play in traffic.”
What is it called when the band fires you as a sound tech because you put delay on the drums?
Repercussion.
Our band probably will never break up over “creative differences”.
We aren’t creative enough to have any differences.
What is the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ favorite band?
The doors.
Which band used to drive a truck for Quaker?
Hall’n Oates.
What do you call a “Gulf and Western” singer who’s gained way too much weight?
Jimmy Hit the Buffett.
What do you call a band that agrees with anything?
Yes.
What do you call a band that you don’t know any of the members?
The Who?
What do you call a band that likes to play childish games?
The Guess Who.
There was a Swedish rock band that used swear words to teach math.
They were called ABBACUSS.
Did you hear about the drummer who got kicked out of his band for having horrible timing?
He got so depressed that he threw himself behind a speeding bus!
My girlfriend is in a band, and for our anniversary, I bought her a new drum kit.
It was a cymbal of my love.
Did you hear about the band called the Radiators?
They were a warm up act.
Some crocodiles decided to get together and sing parody songs?
It’s a pun-croc band.
Ever heard of that Hebrew metal band?
Guns N’ Moses.
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What is Will Smith’s favorite band?
Smash Mouth.
Now for our next band, please welcome The Subtractions…
Take it away, boys…
What is Elon Musk’s favorite band?
30 Seconds to Mars.
There was a girl band, and the names of each member were:
Anna1
Anna2
Anna1234
I found out about this cool underground band called The Beatles.
Well, actually, only about half of them are underground at the moment.
Why do Ska Bands make the best DoorDash drivers?
Because if you order food they’ll pick it up, pick it up, pick it up.
What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he was fired?
“Oh snap.”
I just started a new band called ‘Blankets and Duvets.’
We’ve already been called the best cover band of all time.
What did the chiropractor note down after a successful session treating a whole boy band?
Backstreet’s back: alright.
Mr Potato Head just joined our brass band.
He’s the First Tuber.
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What do you call a group of preteen girls playing musical instruments?
A menarching band.
The band Foreigner has launched a new North American tour.
They’ll be called Domestic in the States though.
Why don’t the members of Phish put peanut butter on their toast?
Cause they’re a jam band!
What did the math department professors call their new band?
The Algorhythms.
Why did the people dance to the vegetable band?
Because it had a good beet.
If you get lemonade when you ask a lemon for help, what do you get when you ask a band for help?
The Beatles.
What do you call a bunch of strawberries in a band together?
A jam session.
What’s a Muslim’s favorite band?
Quran Quran.
Heard about the vegetarian metal band?
Quorn!
What is the zoologist’s favorite band?
The animals.
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Why did the music teacher get called in front of the school board?
His office was full of band books.
What is the king’s favorite band?
Queen.
We named our band Windmill.
So people would assume we had a fairly large fan base.
What do you call a band of potty training toddlers?
Rage against the Latrine.
Ever heard of the band ‘The Broken Down Cars’?
Not surprising, they didn’t go anywhere.
What rock band does pneumonia like the best?
Weezer.
Which band is best to see during winter?
Coldplay.
What do you call a metal band in a financial crisis?
Megadebt.
Why is Rage Against the Machine such a good workout playlist?
Probably because they are a resistance band.
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Which rock band do mummies love most?
The Grateful Dead.
What is an ice cream’s favorite band?
Churney.
Did you know Vivaldi and Bach failed to start their own band?
The couldn’t get a Handel on it.
Which ’80s rock band is banned from New Orleans, and why?
The Scorpions. Every time they’re in town, they rock you like a hurricane.
What do you get when you cross an ’80s hair band with a fish?
BonChovy.
Why is the guitarist usually the leader of the band?
Because he’s the one pulling the strings.
Did you hear about the lawsuit against the rock band U2?
The plaintiffs lost the case because their lawyer was pro Bono.
Which rock band is sponsored by Nabisco?
OREO Speedwagon.
What is a raccoon’s favorite band?
Garbage.
Why do speed metal groups stand so far apart from each other on stage?
Because speed is limited by band width.
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Which band was way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
What is Hank Hill’s favorite metal band?
Pro-Pain.
What do you call paramedics at a rock concert?
Band aid.
Why was the band director struck by lightning during a concert?
He was a good conductor.
Did you hear about the gingerbread man who went to war?
He lost his leg in Nom.
He later formed a band called Limp Bizkit.
Do you have a funny Band Joke? Write down your best jokes in the comment section below!
