50 Funny Christmas Carol Jokes for a Musical Holiday

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Jessica Amlee

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Christmas carols are traditional songs sung during the holiday season, often filled with themes of joy, peace, and the festive spirit of Christmas. These songs range from religious hymns celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ to more secular tunes about the joys of the holiday season, like snow, decorations, and Santa Claus. Carols are a staple of Christmas celebrations, with people singing them in homes, churches, and even out in the streets, bringing communities together in harmony and cheer.

But did you know that, along with their wonderful tunes, they also have the potential for some major comedy gold? I’m not talking about accidental off-key notes or jingle bell blunders. No, I’m referring to the realm of Christmas Carol Jokes, a subgenre in which the words to popular songs are distorted and converted into wonderfully unexpected punchlines.

Now, before you condemn this as a betrayal of holiday customs, hear me out. Christmas Carol Jokes aren’t meant to make fun of the holiday spirit. On the contrary, they highlight the contagious delight of these tunes in a smart and playful manner.

Best Christmas Carol Jokes

Did you hear about the guy who dropped a copy of A Christmas Carol right on his toe?
It hurt like the dickens.

What’s a kidnapped child’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Away with a stranger.

What is a vegan’s favorite Christmas carol?
Soy to the World.

What is a mother’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Silent Night.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Howard who?)
Howard you like to sing Christmas carols with me?!

What was the ram’s favorite Christmas carol?
All I Want for Christmas is Ewe.

What’s Donald Trump’s favorite Christmas carol?
White Christmas.

You know how, in the Christmas carol, carolers come and demand figgy pudding, saying, ‘We won’t go until we get some’?
Well, they’re bluffing. After three days, they give up and go home.

What is Santa’s favorite Christmas Song?
Area Codes by Ludacris.

What do lions sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells.

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Have you heard Beyoncé’s new Christmas song?
It’s called “All the jingle ladies!”

What is a blanket’s favorite Christmas song?
Fleece Navidad.

What is a rash’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Shingle Bells.

What do grapes sing at Christmas?
“‘Tis the season to be jelly.”

What’s Mike Tyson’s favorite Christmas song?
“We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new ear.”

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
“In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It’s a candle,” he said.
“You may pass through the pearly gates,” Saint Peter said.
The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.”
Saint Peter said, “You may pass through the pearly gates.”
The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”
The paddy replied, “These are Carols.”

What is a cop’s favorite Christmas song?
Police Navidad.

What is a winner’s favorite Christmas song?
No L.

What’s a dog’s least favorite Christmas song?
Fleas Navidad.

What kind of Christmas carol do you sing to fruit?
“We Wish You A Berry … Treat yo’elf.

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What is an avocado’s favorite Christmas song?
Guac-in’ Around the Christmas Tree.

Do you know the amoeba’s favorite Christmas song?
“Single Cell Rock.”

What is your favorite Christmas song in Alaska?
There is no place like Nome for the holidays!

Why is Christmas Carol not to be sung in Southern California?
“Oh, the weather outside is frightful… But the fire is so delightful… And since you have no place to go….”

What did the doctor say to the sick Christmas caroler?
“Wassailing you?”

What is Kira from Death Note’s favorite Christmas Carol?
The first no-L.

While out caroling one Christmas Eve, Jeff & Don were tragically killed in the middle of singing “Deck the Halls”. In a strange twist, they were reincarnated as ass-less leather chaps.
Jeff looked at his friend and said, “Don, we now are gay apparel.”

What Christmas carol do Nintendo employees love to sing every year?
A-Wii in a manger!

What do you call an Elf that sings?
A wrapper!

What is Beethoven’s favorite Christmas carol?
Für Elise Navidad.

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What do you call an ant who refuses to sing Christmas carols?
A humbug!

Why couldn’t the pony sing Christmas carols?
Because they were a little horse!

Who thinks all the Christmas songs are about her?

What did the condiment say while he was singing a Christmas carol?
“Mayo-naise, mayo-naise, mayo-naise be merry and briiiight.”

What are Christmas carols?
Wishful singing.

What’s Boba Fett’s least favorite Christmas song?
Jango Bells.

What’s a Christmas mug’s favorite carol?
Oh Christmas tea, Oh Christmas tea.

What was the Tiger King’s least favorite part of Christmas?

What is a catholic’s favorite Christmas song?
“Oh come all ye faithful.”

What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?
Almond Joy To The World.

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What is an owl’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Owl Be Home for Christmas.

What Christmas song do they sing in the psychiatric hospital?
“Do you see what I see?”

What Christmas Carol do they sing in North Korea?
We Three Kims.

What’s the most popular Christmas carol in the desert?
Oh caaamel ye faithful.

I just watched A Christmas Carol with Patrick Stewart.
What he’s doing round my house I don’t know.

Why didn’t Joe Exotic ever release any Christmas songs?
Because he hates Carols.

What do you call a Christmas carol that’s sung on November 1st?
A premature jingle.

Do you have a funny joke about Christmas Carols? Write down the puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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