30 Funny Bastille Day Jokes to Mark French Revolution

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Jessica Amlee

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Bastille Day, or La Fête Nationale, is a paramount moment in French history, symbolizing the birth of modern France. On July 14, 1789, the Bastille prison, a symbol of the monarchy’s tyranny, was stormed by the people, marking a turning point in the French Revolution. This historical event has since been a celebrated national holiday in France, embodying the spirit of liberty, equality, and fraternity. It’s not just a day of historical significance but also a time for joyous celebration – parades, fireworks, and yes, even humor. Injecting humor into this day allows the French to further commemorate their nationhood with shared laughter.

Whether it’s playful ribbing about the Revolution or French stereotypes, Bastille Day jokes are part of the fun, adding another layer to this vibrant celebration of French identity.

Best Bastille Day Jokes

What is the most important part of jokes about the French Revolution?
The execution.

Did you hear the one about Bastille Day?
It’s a riot.

Why did King Louis despise the peasants?
He found them revolting.

What did the Aristocrat say when he heard the French Revolution happening in the streets?
“Oh! What a peasant surprise!”

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Bastille who?)
Bastille-ieve in freedom after all these years!

What’s your funniest pickup line for Bastille Day?
“Hey girl, are you the French Revolution? Because I keep imagining you sans-culottes!”

Have you ever seen the play about the French Revolution?
The scene with Marie Antoinette was perfectly executed.

Do you know that anyone can use our Bastille Day jokes?
It’s royalty free.

How do Americans celebrate Bastille Day?
By storming their wine cellar.

Why is the French Revolution just like Prohibition?
They both got rid of Bourbon!

Recommended: Bastille Day Memes

A kid was talking to his dad about Bastille Day.
He said, “Isn’t that the day when everyone robs all the fish from the water?”
“Bass-steal day.”

What do they call Independence Day in France?
A Royale-free with cheese!

Why is the rooster France’s national emblem?
It’s the only bird that still sings when it’s standing on a shit pile.

Have you heard about Bastille Day?
Its the last time the French showed any balls.

It’s the time of the French Revolution and they’re doing their usual daily beheadings.
Today they’re leading a priest, a prostitute, and an engineer up to the guillotine.
They ask the priest if he wants to be face up or face down when he meets his fate. The priest says that he would like to be face up so he will be looking toward heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it, it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. Being devoutly religious, they Take this as divine intervention and release the priest.
Next, the prostitute comes to the guillotine. She also decides to die face up hoping that she will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine, and release it, it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from her neck. So they release the prostitute as well.
The engineer is next. He too decides to die facing up. They raise the blade of the guillotine and suddenly the engineer cries out: “Hey, I see what your problem is!”

Why do French bakers always bake extra bread on Bastille Day?
Because they know everyone’s going to “storm” their bakery!

What was the primary role of the aristocrats during the French Revolution?
They put their head into it.

Why don’t they play cards in France on Bastille Day?
Because everyone’s afraid of the “revolutionary” hand!

During the French Revolution, what was the executioner’s catchphrase?
“First come, first severed!”

Why are fireworks set off on Bastille Day?
It’s the only way to make a louder bang than the one made when they stormed the Bastille!

What is the difference between Bastille Day and the 4th Of July?
Bastille Day is just like the Fourth of July except it takes place in France and Americans don’t care about it!

A French nobleman’s estate was destroyed during the French Revolution.
The results were château-strophic.

Pete grew up in a faraway suburb, however, he was lucky, and he got hired by a big company in the downtown area.
On his first day at work, he met a French exchange colleague, and he instantly had a crush on her. But he kept silent all the time about it.
It was Bastille Day, and the French girl invited her for a 2 pax fine dining dinner.
She dressed so sexy that, when Pete pick her up from her apartment, he got an instant boner. And he knew she had seen it from his trendy tight suit.
While they were sitting down in the restaurant, he helped her with the chair, as he was so close to her, had a sniff of her hair, and he got an instant boner again. And, that was right beside the girl’s eye.
After placing their order and having some dead air, the appetizers finally arrived. The girl looked Pete in his eyes and said
“Eh… We… You… Um… Bonappetit.”
Pete stood up and left.
Pete’s roommate asked Pete, “Why you’re so early, didn’t you finish her up?”
“I had a series of boner, she saw most of them, and she said I’m boner petit…”

Why did the French revolutionaries celebrate Bastille Day on National Nude Day?
Because they believed in “liberty, equality, and bare-anity!

Recommended: National Nude Day Memes

What’s a ghost’s favorite part of Bastille Day?
The “boo-langeries.”

What do you call Leonardo DiCaprio in a movie about the French Revolution?
Leonardo DiCapitated.

How did Robespierre exit the building?
He used the Thermidor.

Do you know that the french revolution was kind of a pain in the neck?
But once it was over it was a weight off of some people’s shoulders.

Do you have a funny Bastille Day joke? Write down your own Bastille Day puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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