The Chinese New Year in 2025 marks the Year of the Snake, a time when everyone suddenly becomes an expert on reptiles. Families prepare feasts that could feed a small village, and red envelopes change hands faster than a magician’s tricks. The streets are alive with lanterns, dragon dances, and enough firecrackers to make you wonder if the Moon can hear them. With all this action, it’s the perfect time for Chinese New Year Jokes to slither their way into the fun!
What better way to celebrate the Snake’s charm than with jokes that bring laughter to the table? From poking fun at New Year resolutions no one plans to keep, to teasing the zodiac predictions that always sound suspiciously optimistic, Chinese New Year Jokes offer a hilarious twist to the traditions. Just be careful, once the laughter starts, it might echo louder than the firecrackers!
Best Chinese New Year Jokes
Happy Chinese New Year! Or as they say in China,
“Happy New Year!”
Little Johnny already has a date for the Chinese New Year.
It’s the 10th of February, this year!
Why should husbands wash plates during Chinese New Year?
Because Gong Xi Fa Cai!
What do you call a snake that works for the government?
A civil serpent.
Why did China cancel the Chinese New Year?
Everybody was kung-flu fighting.
What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long?
A πthon.
The Chinese believe that eating certain foods on the lunar new year will shape your future.
Most think it’s just a supperstition.
A snake walks into a bar.
And the bartender asks “How did you do that?”
Boy: Why did the snake join the Chinese New Year parade?
Girl: Why?
Boy: Because it wanted to rattle everyone’s expectations!
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa-dum-ssss.
Some friends are having a joint Burns Night and Chinese New Year Party this weekend
They’re calling it Chinese Burns Night. I wasn’t going to go but they twisted my arm.
What are a snake’s pronouns?
He/him/hisssssss.
Did you hear about the baby who was born way too early on February 10?
His parents named him Sudden Lee.
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What does a German snake say?
ßßßßß
The Chinese Year of the Snake has begun.
And here I am still writing Year of the Dragons on my checks.
During the Chinese New Year celebration, as the snake-shaped lanterns and firecrackers filled the streets, a friend asked another, “What do you call a Chinese man in the midst of all this festive heat?”
With a smile, another friend replied, “Boi Ling!”
What do you call it when a snake gets tangled up?
A reptile disfunction.
What did Mr T say on Chinese New Year?
“I pity the 福.”
How do you measure a snake?
In inches. Snakes don’t have any feet.
The Chinese New Year is approaching and with the Year of the Snake upon us,
Let’s hope it scales back on the surprises!
How do you milk a snake?
First you get a very low stool…..
Why is it taking so long to get to the next Lunar New Year?
It’s slithering in!
Why do snakes rely on ambush attacks?
Because chasing prey would make their skin crawl.
What kind of snakes do you find in a car?
Windscreen Vipers.
At the Chinese New Year gathering, a group of friends were sharing jokes and laughter. One of them asked, “What did the wise Chinese doctor ask his patient during this auspicious season?”
With a grin, another friend chimed in, “He asked, ‘Is your spirit soaring like the snake, or is Sum Ting Wong?’”
Did you hear about the Chinese who stole a calendar during Chinese New Year?
He got 12 months!
What advice do you give to people who failed at New Year’s resolutions already?
“Don’t worry, there’s still time for Chinese New Year is here!”
How do they celebrate Chinese New Year?
By comparing our adult children’s careers, income levels, and marital statuses.
How do you wish someone a prosperous Chinese New Year?
“Wonton of wealth and good fortune!”
What do you call a snake’s temper tantrum?
A hissy-fit.
Lunar New Year in Vietnam is celebrated with lion dances, dragon dances, fireworks, family gatherings and meals, ancestor worship, and giving red envelopes to children and the elderly.
Thank you for coming to my Tết talk.
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat?
Boi Ling.
As the Chinese New Year’s Eve dinner was being prepared, a friend inquired, “What do you call a prosperous Chinese man as he ushers in the New Year?”
With a festive spirit, someone answered, “You call him ‘Ching Ching,’”
What did the Chinese man say when he fixed the lightbulb for the New Year celebrations?
“Ching chong!”
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How do Chinese Cowboys greet each other?
“NiHowdy!”
Yo mama so skinny, when she eats Chinese food, she uses her fingers as chopsticks.
How do you make a snake laugh on Lunar New Year?
Tell it a “tail”-riffic joke!
Do you have a funny joke about Chinese New Year? Write down the puns in the comment section below!
Happy New Year to someone I’m pretty sure is Chinese.
Some fairly funny, especially after a flagon or two of saki.
Isn’t “Niehau” Japanese though and not Chinese / Korean?
The Japanese definitely do not celebrate the Lunar New Year – I learned that the hard way by just asking