90 Funny Chinese Jokes And Puns That Surely Cross The Line

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Jessica Amlee

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Chinese jokes mainly revolve around stereotypes that are oversimplified and often inaccurate beliefs about the people of China and its heritage. Some include: All Chinese people are good at math and science. All Chinese food is healthy and spicy. All Chinese people are Buddhist or Taoist. All Chinese people are kung fu experts. All Chinese people are traditional and conservative.

People may crack Chinese jokes for a variety of reasons, including a lack of understanding or knowledge about Chinese culture, a desire to be humorous, or a desire to bond with others through shared laughter. However, it’s important to note that humor that is based on making fun of a particular cultural or ethnic group can be insensitive and harmful. Jokes that reinforce negative stereotypes or perpetuate prejudice should not be shared with strangers, as they can contribute to a hostile or unwelcoming environment for members of that group.

Dark Chinese Jokes

President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It’s the first thing he’s done to combat inflation.

Did you hear about the Chinese waiter who thinks all white people look alike and gave John’s food to the wrong customer?
Wait. Never mind. That wasn’t John’s waiter.

Did you hear about the look-alike contest in China?
Yeah, everybody won.

Did you hear about the Chinese restaurant that blew up?
Scenes of wonton destruction.

How Long Is A Chinese Name?!
No, seriously, it is.

A Chinese guy and a Jewish guy are drinking at the bar.
“Fu#k you and your folks for blowing Pearl Harbor!” shouts the Jewish guy to the Chinese guy. The Chinese man says, “WTF?! That wasn’t us. Those were the Japanese!” “Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese… you’re all the same,” the Jewish person continues. After a couple more beers, the Chinese man turns to the Jewish man and yells, “Fuk you and your people for sinking the Titanic!”
The Jewish man responds, “Huh? It collided with an iceberg…”
The Chinese guy rants, “Iceberg, Goldberg, Steinburg, you’re all the same.”

Why don’t Chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they make the toys.

Did you hear about that stressed man who is going to try that Chinese thing with the needles?
Oh yeah, opium.

What’s so crazy about Chinese?
That they made a language entirely out of tattoos.

American: What it’s like living in China?
Chinese: I can’t complain.

Recommended: Taiwan Jokes

“Hey! I heard China just legalized same-sex marriage!”, says a white man to a Chinese national.
“No, we didn’t,” replies the Chinese national.
“But Taiwan just legalized same-sex marriage!”
“No… Taiwan is not… uh… Yes, China is … uh…”

If Korean Pop is KPop.
Is Chinese Rap Crap?!

Did you know the magnifying glass was invented by a Chinese guy?
Yeah, his name was Tzu Minh.

How much do Chinese dumplings weigh?

Why do Chinese people love iPhones and Apple products?
Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.

How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asi*n?
Just spin him around in circles until he’s disoriented.

An Asi*n guy walks into a bar.
He takes a seat at the bar and begins to drink a beer. The man next to him inquires, “Do you know kung fu, karate, or any of this bullshit?
The Asi*n man replies, “No, is it because I am Chinese you ask?
“No, it’s because you’re drinking my f*cking beer,” the other guy says.

Recommended: Asi*n Jokes

Did you hear about the white man who when was a kid thought he had a Chinese friend?
But it was just his imaginasian.

What do you call a Chinese kid born before his due date?
We called him Sudden Lee.

Why is the Great Wall of China considered one of the seven wonders of the world?
Because it is an actual long-lasting Chinese product.

Who says building a border wall won’t work?
The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don’t have any Mexicans.

Chinese: Have you seen my cocaine?
American: Yes, he was brilliant in The Italian Job.

Why can’t Chinese people have white babies?
Because two Wongs don’t make a white.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus, or a Lobster?
A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

What do you call a Chinese person with a video camera?
Phil Ming.

What has two wings and an arrow?
A Chinese telephone!

Recommended: Funny Chinese New Year Jokes

Why don’t Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they’re the ones who make the toys.

What do you call a rich Chinese person?
Cha ching.

Why are Chinese kids so good at math?
Because their dog doesn’t eat their homework.

What do you call Jehova’s Witnesses in Chinese?
Ding Dong.

What do you call a fat Chinese prostitute?
Chun Kee Ho.

A couple just had their first son.
The husband is half Irish and half Indian, and the wife is half Chinese and half Italian both wish to have their son’s name after their heritage.
After much argument, they decided on the name ‘Ravi O’Lee.’

What’s the name of the fastest Chinese online game player?
Lo Ping.

What if Adam and Eve were Chinese?
Then we would still be in paradise as they would eat the snake instead of the apple.

A Chinese kid approaches his father and asks him, “Daddy, why do they say we all look alike?”
The man replies, “Actually your father is the one over there!”

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg?
Thai wan shu.

Fu, Bu, and Chu are three Chinese men.
One day, they decided to move to the USA.
Also, they decided to change their names, so as to not be discriminated against. Chu changed his name to Chuck. Bu changed his name to Buck. And Fu decided to go back to China.

What do you call a Chinese man who fixes teeth?
A dentist.

Recommended: Anti Jokes

Have you heard like 50% of Chinese people have cataracts?
Yeah, I guess the other 50% drive “Rincoln Towncah.”

How do Chinese Cowboys greet each other?
They say, “NiHowdy!”

What do you call a Chinese billionaire?

How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh?
Won Ton.

Why do Chinese people love playing Among Us?
Because that’s the only place they can vote.

What do you call a Chinese Disease?
Kung Flu.

What do you call an angry Chinese man?
A mental oriental.

The sign outside the clinic reads, “GET TREATMENT FOR $20 – IF NOT CURED, GET BACK $100,” and it was put there by a Chinese doctor who couldn’t get employment at an American hospital.
An American lawyer believes this is a fantastic opportunity to earn $100 and enters the clinic.
“I have lost my sense of taste,” the lawyer admitted.
“Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 14 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth,” the Chinese instructed.
“Ugh, this is kerosene,” the lawyer exclaimed.
The Chinese said, “Congratulations, your sense of taste has been restored. Please give me my $20.”
After a few days, the irritated lawyer returns to attempt to recover his money.
The lawyer said, “I’ve forgotten everything. I can’t recall anything.”
“Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 14 and put 3 drops in his mouth,” the Chinese said.
The Lawyer responded angrily: “It’s kerosene. You gave it to me last time to help restore my taste.”
The Chinese said, “Congrats. You regained your memory. Please give me $20.”
The enraged lawyer pays him, then returns a week later intent to recover $100.
“My eyesight has become quite weak, and I can’t see at all,” the lawyer explained.
“Well, I don’t have any medicine for that, so take this $100,” the Chinese said.
The Lawyer (staring at the note), “But this is $20, not $100!”
The Chinese declared, “Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20!”

How can you tell if the Chinese are moving into town?
The Mexicans get car insurance.

Recommended: Mexican Jokes

Two Chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest.
After one wins, the other looks at him and says, “Well prayed.”

What is the name of the Chinese undercover agent?
Lae Lo.

Who is the Chinese President?
No, Xi is. Hu was his predecessor.

How did Confucius fight a sore throat?
Ancient Chinese Sucrets.

What do you say to a pregnant Chinese person?

Did you hear that Rob Zombie is opening an authentic Chinese restaurant?
It is called ‘More Hunan Than Hunan.’

What do you call a Chinese James Bond?
A secret Asi*n Man.

An Australian bin man knocks at the door of a Chinese guy.
And asks, “Where’s ya bin mate?”
The guy answers, “I bin watching TV!”
The Ozzie asks, “Na mate where’s ya wheelie bin.”
The guy hangs his head and says, “I wheelie been wanking.”

Recommended: Australian Jokes

What should you do if the lights in a Chinese restaurant are too bright?
Dim sum.

Where do the Chinese keep their armies?
In their sleevies.

What do call a Chinese philosopher from Paris?
French Taoist.

How are Chinese food restaurants still in business?
They lose fortunes every day.

Why did the lion get his hair cut on his way to the Chinese restaurant?
Because he wanted a Lo Mein.

What do you call a Chinese person who spilled tea on their legs?

What did the Chinese man say when he hurt his knee?
Knee ow.

A Chinese guy in the U.S. goes to exchange his currency.
He exchanges C¥10,000 and gets US$1,500.
The next day, he exchanges another C¥10,000 but gets only US$1,499. He asks why.
The exchange clerk says, “Fluctuations.”
The Chinese guy is shocked for a moment, and yells back, “Fluctuamelicans!”

Recommended: Dark Humor Jokes

Did you hear about the Chinese chef who broke his spine making stir fry?
He’ll never wok again.

What do you call a Chinese vampire?
Mr. Fang.

What do you call Chinese interior decorators?

What do you call a self-obsessed person driven to insanity by a Chinese noodle dish?
A mega lo mein-iac.

Where do Chinese geese live?

What vessels sail the waters of the Chinese internet?

What do you call a Chinese athlete caught cheating?
Do Ping.

An international school teacher asks a question, “What’s your own opinion on food scarcity in other countries?”
African student: What’s food?
European student: What’s scarcity?
American student: What are other countries?
Chinese student: What’s ‘my own opinion’?

What do you call a Chinese spy?
Lei Yinglo.

Did you hear about that Chinese Doctor who was only treating communists?
He was sued for Maopractice.

Recommended: Racist Jokes

What language do Chinese people who wander around aimlessly speak?

What was the most confused Chinese athlete of all time called?
Hu Wan.

What do you call a single Chinese man?
Han Solo.

If you’re Chinese when you enter a bathroom and African when you leave, what are you while you’re inside?

How do Chinese cats communicate?
They Mao.

A man visits his sick friend and finds him to now be well and energetic.
“How wonderful!” his friend says, “What happened?”
“Dr. Chang is the cause of my health,” he says gratefully.
“Dr. Chang, what did he do?”
“Well, Dr. Li came and gave me a special diet. And I got sicker. Then Dr. Wong came and gave me bitter herbs, and I got even worse. On death’s door, I called for Dr. Chang.”
“And what did Dr. Chang do?” his friend asks in wonder.
The man replies happily, “Dr. Chang did the best of all, he didn’t come, so I got well!”

What do viagra and the Chinese government have in common?
They both have been rigging erections for years.

What do you call a Chinese man with one t*sticle?
Wun Hung Lo.

How did Fah Mulan convince the soldiers of the Chinese army that she was a man?
She pretended to be Fah Ping.

What did the Chinese girl say to the guy who asked for her number?
She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free Sex Tonight!”
The man said, “Wow, you’re easy.”
Her friend explained, “She means 666-3629.”

What do you call a Chinese Drawf?
Tai Nee.

Recommended: Short People Jokes

What do you call a cocky Chinese person transporting drugs abroad?
Smug Lin.

What do you call a Chinese 69?
Tu can chu.

Why do the Chinese not play cricket?
Cause they always eat the bats.

What do you call a Chinese pedophile?
Po Kim Yung.

What do you call a Chinese girl born to poor parents?
Yu-go inbin.

Have a better Chinese joke? Post your own Chinese puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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