Computers are like super serious employees who never blink, don’t eat lunch, and still crash at the worst possible time. They sit there, looking all smart with their blinking lights and endless buttons, but one wrong click and suddenly they forget everything, just like your friend who “accidentally” deleted the group project. That’s probably why the internet is full of Computer Jokes, because if we didn’t laugh at them, we’d just cry over lost files and frozen screens.
It’s funny how something designed to solve problems ends up becoming one. That’s where Computer Jokes save the day. These jokes are like a tech support hug, only funnier and without the hold music. People tell them to survive Monday meetings, long downloads, or even a printer that thinks it’s the boss. They help us cope with the madness of passwords we can’t remember and updates we never asked for.

Best PC Jokes

Why did the computer crash?
Because it had a bad driver!

What’s the angriest computer part?
The keyboard. Everybody is pushing its buttons.

Do you know the oldest computer was owned by Adam and Eve?
It was an apple, with very limited memory, one byte and everything crashed!

This man’s boss calls him ‘The computer’.
Not because of his calculation skills, but because this man goes to sleep when left unattended for 15 minutes.

How much memory does a comedian’s computer have?
Lots of gigglebytes!

Why couldn’t the computer take its Hat off?
Because it had its CAPS LOCK on.

How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
They just ransomware.

What is the difference between USA and USB?
One connects to your computer and accesses all your data. The other is an industry standard.

If you think that your computer, laptop, and phone spying on you is scary, then think again.
Because your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

A man calls quantum IT support and complains that his quantum computer isn’t working.
Quantum IT support: “Have you tried turning it off and on at the same time?”

Soulja Boy is not even a soldier. Dr. Dre is not even a doctor.
Adele is not even a computer.

Why did Karen press Ctrl+Alt+Delete?
She wanted to see the task manager.

A father thought that his son was spending too much time playing computer games, so he stopped him and said, “Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.”
The kid considered that for a moment before replying, “Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was the President of the United States.”

What’s Forrest Gump’s computer password?
1forrest1

Screw that clown from IT.
Always joking around when he should be fixing my computer.

What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer?
They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.

Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: “Windows frozen, won’t open.”
Husband texts back: “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with hammer.”
Wife texts back 10 minutes later: “Computer really messed up now.”

What do you call a dying airport computer?
A terminal terminal terminal.

My computer crashed a few hours into writing my paper.
looks like I’m gonna have to write my name and the date again.

What is an astronaut’s favorite part on a computer?
The space bar.

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer.
They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
Finally, God said, “Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and I will judge who does the better job.”
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent an email. They sent out an email with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured, and, of course, the electricity went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started searching frantically, screaming, “It’s gone! It’s all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!”
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate.
“Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?”
God shrugged and said, “Jesus saves.”

Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.

Grandfather asked his grandson how to print on his computer.
The grandson told him it’s Ctrl-P. Grandpa says he hasn’t been able to do that for ages.

Recommended: Adult Computer Jokes

How does a computer get drunk?
It takes screenshots.

What kind of dogs do programmers have?
Computer Labs.

A man walked into a new IT-themed restaurant one day, curious about the concept. The place was decked out like the inside of a computer—tables designed like motherboards, placemats that looked like keyboards, and drinks served in glasses shaped like giant USB sticks. The host, dressed in classic nerd fashion with thick glasses and a pocket protector, greeted him at the door. But something seemed off—the host looked incredibly sad. The man found it odd but followed him to the table anyway.
A waitress soon arrived with a menu, wearing similar glasses and the same gloomy expression. She barely spoke a word. After scanning the “main menu,” the man decided to order the fish and microchips. Another server came to take the order, barely listening, tears welling up as he wrote it down, then storming off in sobs. The man sat there waiting. Twenty-five minutes passed—nothing. Forty-five—still nothing. An entire hour went by with no food and no sign of any staff. Finally, the manager walked by, and the man grabbed his arm in frustration.
“Hey! What’s going on here? I’ve been waiting for an hour! Where’s my food? And why is everyone so upset?”
The manager sighed and said, “I’m so very sorry, sir… all of our servers are down.”

What did the computer yell when it hit a golf ball really far?
100

Do not use “beef stew” as a computer password.
It is not stroganoff.

Yo mama so stupid that if she was a computer she would be called AD instead of AI Artificial dumbass.

Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.

While testing a newly installed computer, an Army officer asked the machine to predict the probability of World War III and promptly received a one-word answer: “Yes.”
Annoyed at the lack of detail, the officer barked, “Yes, what?”
Instantly, the machine replied, “Yes, sir!”

How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer?
Dos.

Recommended: ML Jokes

Lots of people know that Charles Babbage invented the computer.
But did you know that the cabbage was invented by a man called Charles Bomputer?!

How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.

A dog sees a “Now hiring” poster outside of a computer store. The poster reads:
“Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer.”
The dog takes the poster in his mouth and walks in. The manager spots the dog and decides to humour it, pulling up a chair and a computer with a word processor. “Alright, if you want to work here, you need to first write a letter,” and leaves the room.
30 minutes later, he comes back in, and the dog has typed out a completely error-free letter.
“Well, I’ll be. This is a smart dog. But can he program?” he asks himself.
20 minutes pass, and the dog has made a perfectly running website for the store.
He looks, shocked, at the dog, and finally speaks. “Look, I know you have the qualifications, but, well… you’re a dog.”
The dog nudges the words “We are an equal opportunity employer” on the poster, and the manager sighs.
“There’s no way you’re bilingual.”
The dog looks him in the eyes, and says, “Meow.”

When it takes you a while to find RAM for your computer, what is it called?
Short-term memory loss.

Lost to my computer at chess.
But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing.

Yo mama so fat, her computer profile picture is measured in Terabytes.

Where do pirates store their computer data?
In an ARRay.

A computer programmer goes to buy some bread.
On his way out, his wife says, “And while you’re there, get a carton of eggs”.
He never returned.

Recommended: Programming Jokes

What does the baby computer call it’s father?
Data.

Did you hear about the computer’s favorite kind of shoes?
ReBOOTs!

What do you call a computer at the bottom of the ocean?
A Dell, rolling in the deep.

Three engineers are riding in a car.
One is a mechanical engineer, one is an electrical engineer, and one is a computer engineer.
The car breaks down and coasts to the side of the road.
“Hang on,” says the mechanical engineer. “The problem is probably the engine, let me have a look at it and I’ll have us on the road again in no time.”
“Wait,” says the electrical engineer. “The way it just stopped like that, I think it’s the electrical system. Let me have a look and I’ll get us going again in a minute or two.”
“Hold on,” says the computer engineer. “Why don’t we all just get out of the car and get in again, and then see if it starts?”

Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.

Before you marry a person,
You should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, it’s a hardware problem.

Which computers poop the most?
Those running on fiber.

A day in the life of an IT guy.
Customer: “Hi, my computer isn’t working.”
IT Guy: “OK, what happens when you try to turn it on?”
Customer: “Nothing.”
IT Guy: “Can you check to see if it’s plugged into the outlet?”
Customer: “Uhhhh, I dunno. It’s pretty dark back there…”
IT Guy: “…Can you turn on a light?”
Customer: “Nope. The power’s out.”

Recommended: IT Jokes

Why were all the computers in the company frozen?
Because they let IT go.

What do you call a computer mouse that swears a lot?
A cursor!

Yo mama so stupid, she wore a mask because her computer had a virus.

Why were old computers heavier?
Because they used a FAT file system!

What do you call it when you put the entire ocean in your computer?
Drownloading.

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot.
The shop owner points to three identical-looking parrots on a perch and says, “The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars.”
“Why does the parrot cost so much?” the customer asks.
The owner replies, “Well, it knows how to use a computer.”
The customer then asks about the second parrot.
“That one costs 1,000 dollars,” the owner says, “because it can do everything the other parrot can do, plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.”
Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot.
“That one costs 2,000 dollars.”
Needless to say, this begs the question: “What can it do?”
The owner shrugs and says, “To be honest, I’ve never seen it do a thing—but the other two call him boss!”

Why is Voldemort so good with computers?
He’s fluent in Python.

How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.

Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years, and you can’t rush the progress. Chrome wasn’t built in a day!

What do you call someone who double majors in English and Computer Science?
A pro-grammar!

Recommended: Computer Science Jokes

A man burned his finger on his computer processor.
He shouted, “It MHz.”Millennials teaching other generations how to use computers
1995: “Mom, let me show you how to type a report on the computer. It’s easier than using pen and paper.”
2025: “Kid, let me show you how to type a report on the computer. It’s easier than using your phone.”

Why shouldn’t you take dietary advice from your computer?
Because they are stuffed full with chips and always accepting cookies.

What do computers like to eat?
Microchips.

Did you hear about the bitter computer technician?
He had a microchip on his shoulder.

Which part of a computer system looks after you?
The monitor.

An employee called his boss and said, “I’ll be late. I’m having computer issues.”
The boss asked, “Hard drive?”
The employee replied, “No, the commute is fine. It’s my laptop.”

What do a computer and a shark have in common?
They both have megabites.

Just walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K, and 1 MB.
That was a trip down memory lane.

What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server.

Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-o!

A clerk comes rushing up to his manager in a computer store, out of breath and visibly upset. The manager, surprised at his normally cool and collected employee, asks, “What’s wrong??”
The shaken employee, casting his eyes back towards the sales floor, says, “There are two crazy guys in the shop in costumes shouting ‘Arrrrr’ at each other and waving swords around. I think there’s going to be a fight. What should I do, boss?!”
His boss says, “Oh, don’t worry, those are just software pirates.”

Why did the computer crack a joke?
Because it saw its mother bored.

What’s the difference between a crown roast and a slow computer?
One is a rack of lamb; the other is a lack of RAM!

Why did the man say his computer mouse was his best friend?
They just clicked from the 1st day they met.

Recommended: Data Science Jokes

Which part of a computer help helps you through trauma?
A processor.

This man was speaking to a computer technician.
“How do you make a motherboard?” he asked the technician.
The technician said, “Tell her about my job.”

Why don’t the British make computer chips?
They have not figured out how to get them to leak oil.

A computer goes up to a guy at a restaurant.
It says, “I’ll be your server today.”

Why can’t elephants use computers?
Because they are scared of the mouse.

“Our computer systems have been compromised!”
“Is it a DDOS attack?”
“Worse! They’ve reformatted our operating systems to 1the 981 standard!
It’s an MS-DOS attack!”

Why did the computer freeze?
Somebody left Windows open.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Ya.
(Ya who?)
.com

What did Ebenezer Scrooge say when his computer wasn’t working?
“Bah, dumb bugs!”

Recommended: Artificial Intelligence Jokes

What’s the difference between a spy and a computer?
A spy has inside intel.
A computer has Intel Inside.

What’s a computer’s favourite beat?
An algorithm.

What did the dentist say to the computer?
“This won’t hurt a byte.”

Why is an old computer like a lawn mower?
Because they both take forever to start, and when they finally do, they just make a lot of noise!

Do you have a funny Computer Joke? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!