Computer Science is that mysterious realm where the nerdiest knights embark on quests to slay rogue algorithms and rescue distressed data from the clutches of complexity. It’s an ever-evolving field, where digital magicians weave intricate spells in languages like Python, Java, and C++, transforming mere mortal thoughts into dynamic websites, apps, and sometimes, frustrating error messages. It’s the magical world where “cookies” aren’t just for eating, and where “bugs” aren’t pests you squash—unless you’re a programmer on a debugging spree, of course.
On to the humorous motherboard of it all: Computer Science jokes! These byte-sized puns are the lifeblood of any coder’s downtime, a welcome escape from the cascade of ones and zeros. They’re like inside jokes for the binary brotherhood, where asking if someone’s heard about the band called 1023MB is a legitimate question—because they haven’t gotten a gig yet. These jokes oscillate between hilarious and “so-bad-it’s-good,” making even non-techies chuckle at the geeky charm. After all, why did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn’t get arrays (a raise)! And if you’re groaning at that, just wait until you dive deeper into the endless realm of CS humor!
Best Computer Science Jokes
How does a computer science major pick up girls?
“Oh shit thought this was google!”
A mugger jumps out in front of a university student and shouts, “Your money or your life!”
The student keeps walking, and says, “Sorry mate, I’m a Computer Science student. I don’t have either.”
Yo computer science teaching mama so fat, she can flatten a binary tree in O(1).
A computer science teacher asks the class to turn to page 404.
The students search feverishly, to no avail.
There are 2 truly difficult problems in Computer Science.
0: Naming things
1: Cache invalidation
2: Off by one errors
What do you call it when computer science majors make fun of each other?
What do marathoners and computer scientists have in common?
They want the fastest running time.
A computer scientist named Bob was about to leave to rent a movie. As Bob was heading out, his wife said, “While you’re out, pick up some eggs.”
Bob never came back.
What do you call a creepy Computer Science teacher?
A PDF file.
Yo mama so fat, she can’t save files bigger than 4GB.
How can you tell the difference between an influencer and a computer scientist?
By checking how they pronounce the word “bios”
What do you call a nap in computer science class?
A Computer Science student at MIT showed up at his buddy’s dorm room with a new bike. His buddy said, “Sweet bike, where’d ya get it?”
“You’ll never believe this,” he said, “I was walking across campus and this beautiful blonde on a bike stopped, threw down her bike, tore off all her clothes, and said take whatever you want!”
His buddy stared at him blankly for a minute, then said, “Smart. Her clothes would have never fit you.”
What is a US Vice President’s favorite computer science class?
Why do computer scientists make bad arborists?
Because they always plant their trees upside down.
A professor is giving a lecture about computer science and there’s a short little man who is helping him with calculations,
A mathematic coprofessor.
A computer science student was writing a note to his crush before the lecture. The student next to him grabbed the note.
The first student tried to grab it back. “You can’t see that, it’s private!”
The second student protested, “But we’re in the same class.”
What’s the difference between learning vowels and learning computer science?
When learning vowels, it’s only sometimes “why?”
Why did the CS major quit his job?
He didn’t get arrays.
A professor is teaching computer science 101 and gets to the topic of recursion, but after reading his prepared notes, one of his students seems particularly perplexed and questions the teacher.
“I don’t understand, you said a recursive algorithm one that calls itself?” The student asks.
“Yes.” Says the teacher.
“So it’s like a phone? Wouldn’t it get a busy signal trying to call itself?”
“No, not like a phone, it’s more like-” The teacher starts to explain, but is cut off by the student.
“Is it like a role call? Like when you call your own name?”
“No,” the teacher continues “It’s not-“
But the student immediately interrupts.
“Like calling a bet? You bet on yourself?”
“No!” The teacher finally blurts. “Look, I can see you’re confused. Why don’t I tell you a joke my professor taught me…”
He clears his throat and begins.
“A professor is teaching Computer Science 101…”
Why do computer scientists always confuse Christmas and Halloween?
Its cause DEC 25 = OCT 31.
How many computer scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?
0 to 1.
A young computer science student is on the phone with his father.
His father says, “So how have your classes been going?”
The son replies, “Not bad. I did really well on my test on hexadecimal today! It was only worth fifteen points, but I’m still happy about it.”
“Oh yeah? What grade did you get?”
A computer scientist was once offered the opportunity to feed a shark.
He turned it down, because he did not want to RISC losing his ARM.
Why did the computer science student die in the shower?
The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.
After the animals exited the ark, the Lord came to the animals and the Lord spoke, “Go forth and multiply.”
The snakes came to him and said, “Oh Lord, we cannot fulfil the commandment, for we are adders.”
Thus spoke the Lord, “Go and cut down the trees, and out of the trees you shall fashion furniture. For adders can multiply with the aid of log tables!”
Why are so many computer scientists atheists?
Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.
Why is it surprisingly easy to get a job at the zoo as a computer scientist?
Probably because one is fluent in Python.
A CS student walks into his class.
“I’m so sorry, my dog ate my homework.” Rolling his eyes, the computer science professor shot back, “Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?”
“Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes.”
Why was the dad disappointed in his son for majoring in Computer Science?
The son had a C++ on his grades.
What did the female rapper ask the aspiring computer scientist?
“You in I.T.? Why?”
A Computer Science major walks into an English class.
The Professor says “Welcome to English 101.”
The student panics.
“What’s wrong?” asks the Professor.
“I missed the first 4 English classes.”
Why can’t blind people get into computer science?
Because they can’t C.
What do you call someone who double majors in English and Computer Science?
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A student asks the CS professor, “Did your years of studying computer science ever help you in your life?”
The professor replies, “Oh yes, for sure, computer science did help me in my life. One day I’d get my socks from the laundry and they were all mixed up in a big pile of socks. But then I remembered that I knew QuickSort and sorted them in O(n log n) time.”
The computer scientist failed when trying to hit on his waitress
ERROR: Connection to server not found.
Al Gore and a computer science student started a band.
The Al Gore Rhythms.
One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.
The mechanical engineer said, “I think a rod broke.”
The chemical engineer said, “The way it sputtered at the end, I think it’s not getting enough gas.”
The electrical engineer said, “I think there was a spark and something’s wrong with the electrical system.”
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, “What do you think?”
The computer engineer said, “I think we should all get out and then get back in.”
How can you tell if a computer scientist is an extrovert?
They stare at your shoes instead of staring at their own.
What do you call 8 Hobbits?
Why are computer scientists considered unattractive?
Their 10’s are really 2’s.
A young, attractive woman goes to a bar. She notices a man at the other side of the bar making eye contact with her, and before long the bartender hands her a note saying, “That gentleman over there told me to give this to you.” The note said: Come join me for a drink?!
She approaches the man and introduces herself. He writes another note and hands it to her: I am deaf, but I can write notes. Let me buy you a drink?!
She decides to indulge him. They spend the night drinking and writing notes back and forth. She learns he is a computer scientist, so being deaf doesn’t affect his career all that much, and that he lives only a few blocks away. As they become more intoxicated, he invites her back to his place with a note: Let’s go back to my place. I’ve got a $1000 bottle of wine for us to share and a 10-inch penis.
She thinks to herself he must be pretty rich if he can afford that bottle of wine and fantasizes about the size of his dick, so she excitedly agrees. They split a cab back to his place. In the cab ride she passes him another note, saying he seems pretty young to be so successful.
To which he writes a note back: I’m only 11010 years old!
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How do you tell the difference between a Computer Scientist, a Computer Engineer, and a Chemical Engineer?
Ask them what PCB means.
How many computer scientists does it take to change a lighbulb?
None. That is a hardware issue.
A physicist, a mathematician, and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend.
The physicist said, “A girlfriend. You still have the freedom to experiment.”
The mathematician said, “A wife. You have security.”
The computer scientist said, “Both. When I’m not with my wife, she thinks I’m with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend, it’s vice versa. And I can be with my computer without anyone disturbing me…”
What do you call a ghost in computer science?
Why is it called “Computer Science” and not “Computer Engineering”?
Because you’re performing an experiment every time you try to run my program.
A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician, and a computer scientist are on a photo safari in Africa. They drive out into the savannah in their jeep, stop, and scour the horizon with their binoculars.
The biologist said, “Look! There’s a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle: a white zebra! It’s fantastic! There are white zebras! We’ll be famous!”
The statistician said, “It’s not significant. We only know there’s one white zebra”
The mathematician said, “Actually, we know there exists a zebra which is white on one side!”
The computer scientist said, “Oh no! A special case!”
What’s the difference between a computer science professor and a monkey?
The monkey doesn’t think he can code.
Did you hear that Computer science is actually math in disguise?
You could say we’re discreet mathematicians.
A physician, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The physician remarked, “Well, in the Bible, it says that God created Eve from a rib taken out of Adam. This clearly required surgery, and so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world.”
The civil engineer interrupted, and said, “But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong: mine is the oldest profession in the world.”
The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, smiled, and then said confidently, “Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?”
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Where does a gay computer science major work?
Back end development.
Why did the transgender person fail computer science?
Because they were non-binary.
What do you call it when two computer scientists come simultaneously?
Do you have a funny Computer Science joke? Write down your own Computer Science puns in the comment section below!