Data Science is the “sexiest job of the 21st century,” as per Harvard Business Review. It’s like being a wizard, but your wand is a stylus, your spells are algorithms, and your cauldron is a swirling pool of Big Data. These digital conjurers can predict your next online purchase, forecast the weather, and even speculate how many years it’ll take before your pet hamster runs for public office. Heck, they might even predict that you’re about to roll your eyes at the next joke. Armed with Python, R, and a deluge of data, these modern Merlin types are translating the gibberish of our digital lives into actionable insights—or at least into pie charts that make you go “huh.”
Now, let’s pivot our tables and chart a scatter plot of laughter with Data Science jokes. These jokes are the Ctrl+Alt+Del for a data scientist’s brain, rebooting their overloaded neural networks with humor. Ever heard the one about the data scientist who was excellent at parties? Me neither. But you’ve got to love a classic like, “I’m not a great data scientist, but I’m a mean one.” These jokes often come with a Kernel of truth, making you nod along as you laugh. So next time you hear a data scientist say, “I met a statistic the other day. He was mean but easy to average,” remember that they too need a break from the number-crunching grind, even if that break is statistically proven to be corny!
Best Data Science Jokes
Where do Data Scientists go camping?
In Random forests.
There are two types of people in this world, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data,
And those with an uncontrollable urge to finish the sentence even at the expense of the joke.
Two friends were discussing what they wanted to do with their lives. One of them suggested Data Science.
“I’d much rather date a person, thank you,” said another.
Yo mama so fat, she sat on a binary tree and turned it into a linked list in constant time.
What did the underpaid data scientist say?
“I need arrays.”
Why did the Python data scientist get arrested at customs?
She was caught trying to import pandas!
“Knock knock”
“Race condition”
“Who’s there?”
How many data scientists does it take to screw in the light bulb?
Three. 1 for training sample 1 for validation 1 for test sample.
Data Scientists only want one thing and it’s f*cking disgusting..
“Wow, this disconfirms by preconceptions.. what a valuable piece of in!
How did the Data Scientist get his girlfriend to become an attractive model?
By training her.
Yo mama’s like a global variable, she gets used by everyone.
Did you hear that the FBI recently put data scientists on their watch list?
They are definitely plotting something.
Which way did the programmer go?
Data way.
Why did the Data Analyst visit China?
To analyse with pandas.
Scientists have created an AI, and asked it, “Is there a God?”
The AI replied, “Insufficient computing power to determine an answer.”
The scientists connected the AI to a powerful supercomputer and gave it access to Wikipedia, and asked it again, “Is there a God?”
Again, the AI replied, “Insufficient computing power to determine an answer.”
So the scientists put the AI on a distributed cluster of millions of computers and gave it access to all the data on Google, then once again asked it, “Is there a God?”
And yet again, the AI replied, “Insufficient computing power to determine an answer”.
The scientists spent years and years and finally got the AI to be installed on every supercomputer, network, PC, console, mobile device, smartwatch, and anything with a chip. They gave AI access to every database, website, book, social media platform, every piece of software ever written and every piece of knowledge ever obtained by mankind. And for the last time, they asked the AI, “Is there a God?”
The AI replied, “There is now.”
Recommended: AI Jokes
Why do vampires never use database replication?
As they can’t see their data in the mirror.
What animal is the best Data Scientist?
The Pandas Bear.
What did the childishly possessive Business Intelligence Analyst say to the Data Warehouse Developer?
“Data mine!”
A team prioritized the retrieval and AI/BI tools for their data warehouse above the descriptions of their data.
It was an issue of mine over meta.
Which deep learning algorithm is used to try to control plasma reactors?
Stable-the-fusion.
A company manager is flying across the desert in a hot air balloon when he realizes he is lost. He calls down to a man riding a camel below him and asks where he is.
The man replies “You’re 42 degrees and 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north, 122 degrees, 10 minutes west, 212 meters above sea level, heading due east by northeast.”
“Thanks,” replies the balloonist. “By the way, are you a data analyst?”
“Yes,” replies the man, “how did you know?”
“Everything you told me was totally accurate, you gave me way more information than I needed and I still have no idea what I need to do.”
“I’m sorry,” replied the camel-riding analyst. “By the way, are you a company manager?”
“Yes,” said the balloonist, “how did you know?”
“Well,” replied the analyst, “You’ve got no idea where you are, no idea what direction you’re heading in, you got yourself into this fix by blowing a load of hot air, and now you expect me to get you out of it.”
What’s a ghost’s favorite data type?
A boooolean.
Which race are Rust programmers prejudiced against?
Data race.
Recommended: Computer Science Jokes
What do you call a data-hungry website, rhetorically speaking?
A Meta-vore.
One day there was a fire in a wastebasket in the office of the Dean of Sciences. In rushed a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician. The physicist immediately starts to work on how much energy would have to be removed from the fire to stop the combustion.
The chemist works on which reagent would have to be added to the fire to prevent oxidation. While they are doing this, the statistician is setting fires to all the other wastebaskets in the office.
“What are you doing?” the others demand. The statistician replies, “Well, to solve the problem, you obviously need a larger sample size.”
Where does the compiler send data destined for optimized-away variables?
To the elision fields.
What is a data scientist’s least favorite Pokemon?
Type: null
Why was Darth Vader headhunted for a job at a Data Warehouse?
Because he was a SSIS lord.
A SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables, and asks “May I join you”?
An hour later the query stumbles out of the bar, with a broken nose, two black eyes, and bruises all over. Its friend asks, “What happened? I thought you joined those tables!” And the query replies, “Yup, but they were pretty big, I probably shouldn’t have crossed them!”
Why was the young programmer out on the corner pushing data?
He was trying to make fat stacks.
What do you say when a neural network on the PlayStation 3 becomes conscious?
Ghost in the Cell.
Recommended: Machine Learning Jokes
A statistics major was completely hung over the day of his final exam. It was a true/false test, so he decided to flip a coin for the answers. The statistics professor watched the student the entire two hours as he was flipping the coin … writing the answer … flipping the coin … writing the answer.
At the end of the two hours, everyone else had left the final except for one student. The professor walks up to his desk and interrupts the student, saying, “Listen, I have seen that you did not study for this statistics test, you didn’t even open the exam. If you are just flipping a coin for your answer, what is taking you so long?” The student replies bitterly (as he is still flipping the coin), “Shhh! I am checking my answers!
What statistical language do software pirates use?
RRRRRRRRR.
Why you should never leave your variables uninitialized?
You’ve got to init to win it.
A big deer was discovered by three statisticians when they were out hunting. The first statistician fired but missed to the left by a meter. A meter to the right, the second statistician likewise missed his shot when he fired.
The third statistician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “On average we got it!”
Did you hear about Designing neural networks?
It is a nerve racking procedure.
What is the most embarrassing thing that can happen to a data scientist?
Premature extrapolation.
How many data scientists does it take to change a bulb?
As much as you can hire, they will work tirelessly for a year to come up with the best light radiating device, at the end of the slotted time they submit their well put report, the ML engineer reads said report, assigns hydrogen fusion as not production ready and instead replaces the bulb with a one from the storage cabin.
What is Data science?
It is 80% preparing data, and 20% complaining about preparing data.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Data Scientist: The answer is trivial and is left as an exercise for the reader.
A data analyst is on board a passenger jet. The captain’s voice announced over the radio “We have lost an engine, but there’s no need to worry, we can fly on three engines, it will just take us an hour longer to reach our destination.
A while later, the radio crackles again: “This is your captain speaking, we have lost another engine – but we’re in no danger. Our journey will take an extra two hours though.”
Not long after, the captain is on the radio again: “We’re down to one engine, we can make it safely, but we’re going to be landing three hours late.”
“I hope we don’t lose the last engine,” says the analyst, “We’ll be up here forever.”
The twins of a statistician’s wife. He was overjoyed. He called the minister, who answered with joy. The preacher said, “Bring them to church on Sunday and we’ll baptize them.”
“No,” the statistician answered. “Baptize one. We’ll keep the other as a control.”
What do you call Pornhub’s storage array?
A data wh*re house.
Do you have a funny Data Science joke? Write down your own Data Science puns in the comment section below!
People keep forking my open source lung x-ray analysis neural network.
I’ve got a bad case of branchitis.
Who are Data scientists?
Data scientists are software engineers that got bored of writing code.