60 Funny Google Jokes to End Your Search for Laughs

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Jessica Amlee


Google, a tech behemoth, has evolved from a simple search engine to a pivotal part of daily digital life. It offers a vast array of services from email and maps to cloud storage and smart home technology. Integral to this ecosystem is the ubiquitous Google search, a gateway to the world’s information. Google’s presence is so pervasive that “Google it” has become the modern-day equivalent of looking up something in an encyclopedia, showcasing its impact on how we access and perceive information.

The humor surrounding Google often highlights our over-reliance on the search engine for answers to life’s every query, big or small. Jokes about Google playfully exaggerate the absurdity of the questions we ask, the privacy concerns of using such a comprehensive tool, and the sometimes humorous, unexpected results it offers. These puns reflect the lighter side of our digital dependency, poking fun at the quirks of navigating the vast ocean of information that is just a Google search away.

Best Google Search Engine Jokes

Is Google male or female?
Female because it refuses to let you finish a sentence before making suggestions.

Have you ever got an e-mail saying “At Google Earth, we can even read maps backward”?
That’s just spam.

Did you hear that granddaddy tried searching “Alzheimer’s” on Google?
He got a lot of information but said, For some reason all the links were purple.”

What do you get when you google how soldiers march?

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Okay Google.
(Okay Google, who?)
Sorry I didn’t catch that.
The World Health Organization is a specialized agency of the United Nations that is concerned with international public health. It was established on 7 April 1948, headquartered in Geneva, Switzerland.

What if you Google “lost mediaeval servant boy”?
You get “This page cannot be found”.

Yo mama so fat, you can see her from google earth.

How does a computer science major pick up girls?
“Oh shit thought this was Google.”

How does Google celebrate its birthday?
With a search party.

Did you hear that Google just launched an application targeted towards infants and newborns?

What do you call doctors who graduated online?
Google Docs.

Did you hear about IT what it’s like working at Google?
Says he can’t complain.

If Google’s app management app is called ‘Google Play’ and its payment app is called ‘Google pay’, then what should their navigation app called?
Google Way.
What should be their calendar called?
Google Day.
What should be their messaging service called?
Google Say.
What should be their Party planning app called?
Google Yay.
What should be their version of Grindr called?
Google gay.

Did you hear about the man who googled “how to juggle” a million times?
He just never had the balls to actually try it.

What is the best place to hide a dead body?
Page 2 of Google search results.

Yo mama so fat, she had to get her drivers’ license photo from Google Earth!

Have you ever made your Google email password as ‘Saitama’?
Google says, ‘Your password is VERY STRONG’.

How do you make apple jelly?
Google maps.

What is a group of nerds called?
A Google.

Why Leonardo DiCaprio won’t use Google anymore?
In 2023, Google turned 25 years old.

“Hello! Gordon’s pizza?”
“No sir it’s Google’s pizza!”
“So it’s a wrong number?”
“No sir, Google bought it.”
“OK. Take my order please!”
“Well sir, you want the usual?”
“The usual? You know me?”
“According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered a pizza with cheeses, sausage, and thick crust.”
“OK! This is it!”
“May I suggest to you this time ricotta and arugula with dry tomato?”
“What? I hate vegetables!”
“Your cholesterol is not good.”
“How do you know?
“Through the subscribers guide We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.”
“Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine.”
“You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drug Sale Network.”
“I bought more from another drugstore!”
“It’s not showing on your credit card.”
“I paid in cash.”
“But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement!”
“I have another source of cash!”
“This is not showing as per your last Tax form unless you bought them from an undeclared income source!”
“WTH? Enough! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, Whats App. I’m going to an Island without internet, where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me.”
“I understand sir but you need to renew your passport as it expired 5 weeks ago…”

Why don’t fish use Google?
Because they’re scared of the Net.

Google fired an employee who claimed their technology was sentient.
Which is sad, because he was Chrome’s only friend.

Yo mama so ugly, when they googled her name the search results got censored.

If the Internet had a boat, where would they park it?
Google docs.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Yah who?)
Sorry, I prefer Google.

Which is Google Chrome’s favorite Pokemon?
The Need-your-RAM.

Have you noticed, if you Google the phrase “Lost Medieval Servant Boy”?
It comes back with, “This page could not be found.”

What’s the most popular dating app?
Google calendar.

What do you call Google’s self-driving cars?
Google Drives.

What do you call it when a conspiracy theorist’s chat session is cut short by Google?
A limited hangout.

A panda walks into a bar.
And eats some beer nuts, he then pulls out a gun fires it in the air heads for the door. “Hey!” shouts the bartender and the panda yells back “I’m a panda google me” and sure enough. ‘Panda: a tree-climbing mammal with distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.’

Where do Google employees like to drink?
The search bar.

How did the bank robber choose his next target?
He used Google safe search.

Where does Google store all of its autonomous car data?
Google Drive.

Why did the student Google all the topics related to his essay twice?
Because he was asked to research.

How do you send warships via email?
Google Docks.

Why do babies want to use the internet?
So they can Google Gaga.

Bill Gates: So why don’t you tell me why Bing failed?
Board: We feel there was a public nescience towards Bing.
Bill Gates: Nescience? Let me Goog- Oh I see what you mean.

Have you ever searched Google for ‘how to start a large fire’?
1,22,00,00,000 matches.

Why will Google Chrome’s AdBlock ruin your sex life?
There aren’t any hot singles near you anymore.

Yo mama is like Google, not in the sense that everyone uses her, just because she knows a lot of stuff.

How could have Bing totally crushed Google if they had called it ‘Bang’?
Think about it, “I BANGED Emma Watson last night.”

What’s the biggest difference between Google and Phub?
You are willing to go to the 2nd page of search results on Phub.

What is the (p)orn version of Google?

Yo mama so slutty, someone Googled directions to “Five Guys” and it led to her panties.

What browser do you use to watch corn?
Bill Gates: Microsoft Edge.
Sundar Pichai: Google Chrome.
Tim Cook: Safari.
Jared Fogle: Tor.

Google Pixel phones will soon come with its own proprietary mobile hot spot service that is currently in Alpha.
Much like their other services, Gmail and Gmaps, It is called Gspot, but phones are having a difficult time finding it.

Recommended: Apple iPhone Jokes

How does Google like to dress?
Software, maybe underwear in incognito.

Yo mama so fat, she uses Google Earth to take a selfie.

Did you know that Bugs Bunny won’t accept files through Google Drive?
He’s so choosy he’ll only accept a WhatsApp Doc(ument).

Why is Google Chrome like a submarine?
It gets slower if you open too many windows.

How do migratory birds navigate over long distances?
Google Flaps!

What did the boy with Down Syndrome google?
“How to uninstall chromosome”.

Do you have a funny joke about the Google Search Engine? Write down your own puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

2 thoughts on “60 Funny Google Jokes to End Your Search for Laughs”

  1. I think my neighbor is stalking me. I caught her Googling my name. At least I think she was…
    The focus on my telescope is a little shaky.


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