70 Funny Fly Jokes And Puns That Need No Navigation

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Jessica Amlee


These tiny aerial acrobats, known for their seemingly aimless zigzagging, have been around for over 65 million years, making them older than most of our bad habits. Flies belong to the vast world of insects, and they come in various sizes and species, from the common housefly to the pesky fruit fly. Though often seen as mere nuisances buzzing around picnics or performing death-defying swoops around our ears, these creatures play a crucial role in pollination and serve as a food source for many animals. Some even have metallic-colored bodies that, if you squint just right, look like nature’s own disco balls!

Now, for the fun part – fly jokes! Considering their ubiquity in our daily lives, it’s no wonder we’ve spun numerous humorous tales around them. Fly jokes are the perfect blend of everyday observations mixed with a pinch of exaggeration. They often play on the ironies and peculiarities of a fly’s life. From questions like, “Why did the fly sit on the computer?” to punchlines about ‘buggy software’, fly jokes provide a light-hearted way to swat away life’s little irritations with a chuckle. Because, let’s face it, if you can’t shoo them away, you might as well laugh at them!

Best Fly Jokes

Why was the fly so nervous at the fruit market?
Because he was on a date.

How can you tell when a moth farts?
They suddenly fly in a straight line.

Yo mama so stinky, even flies stay away from her.

Customer: Waiter, What is this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: Swimming, sir!

A fly with a bug on its back said, “Hey is that a mite?”
The mite replied, “I mite be.” The fly replied, “That’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard!” The mite said, “Well I came up with it on the fly!”

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
“Two but I don’t know how the hell they got in there.”

A fly is a species that gets in through the smallest hole in the room but can’t get out through an open window!

What did the bug say to its friends when it looked at its watch?
Time Flies.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, but I don’t know how they got in there.

How does the fly keep a track of its money?
It uses an account-ant!

What do you call a housefly and spider pals?
Pest friends!

What do you call an insect that can lay bricks?
A housefly!

What did the frog order at McDonald’s?
French flies and a diet groak!

What do you call a fly riding in the Grand National?
A horse fly!

What kind of fly sounds croaky when it speaks?
A hoarse fly!

What do you call a fly that has died?
A flew.

Why was the fly looking for the rubbish bin?
It was a litter bug!

The life expectancy of housefly is generally 15 to 30 days.
It spends most of it trolling you!

What did the fly’s mum say to its grumpy child?
“What’s bugging you?”

Which insect has the safest flight?
A stable fly.

How did the police get rid of the flies?
They called in the SWAT team!

What did the firefly say to the other firefly?
“You glow, girlfriend!”

What advice does a Mother fly give her son for the circus?
“My child, be careful when they applaud!”

Why do birds fly upside down over Alabama?
There is nothing there worth sh*tting on.

Recommended: Alabama Jokes

How do you if a fly is an actor?
They’re always on the screen!

What did the fly reply to the man when enquired about sitting on his popcorn during movie night?
“I liked the book, bro!”

What’s the most slippery insect?
A butter-fly!

What did the other fly say to his friend after it farts sitting on a poop?
“Do you mind? I’m eating my lunch!”

Why did the firefly keep taking things?
It was light-fingered!

What did the mother firefly ask the father firefly?
“Don’t you think our son is too bright for his peers?!”

Which fly directs films?
Stephen peilbug!

Yo mama so stupid, if a fly was in her head they would call it a space invader.

Which fly smells the most?
Dung fly!

What did one firefly say to its friends?
“Sorry, I’ve got to glow now!”

What does the house fly say when a robber fly enters their locality?
We gotta ban-d-it!

What has two wheels and flies?
A stinky bin!

What did the rat order for lunch?
A cheese fly!

How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?
Put a pile of poo in the garden!

What is the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird!

Why were the flies playing football in the saucer?
They were playing for the cup!

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A Walk!

So there’s a fly and a gnat lands on its back.
The fly says, “Is there a gnat on my back?”
The gnat says, “Gnat at all.”
The fly says, “That’s the worst pun I’ve ever heard.”
The gnat goes, “What do you expect, I just made it up on the fly!”

Entomologists don’t like fly jokes.
These jokes don’t fly with them.

What happened to the fly that was sitting on the toilet seat?
He got pissed off.

What did the spider say to the fly?
“Welcome to web.”

What’s smaller than a teeny weeny fly?
A fly’s teeny weeny!

This fly is flying about a barn until he comes across a massive pile of cow poo. “Yum!” exclaims the fly, who buzzes down to it and gorges himself until his wings can no longer carry him.
“That’s fine,” the fly thinks, “if I get some air first, I’ll be able to fly no issue.” So he finds a pitchfork resting against the barn wall and climbs all the way to the top at the handle. He launches himself off the pitchfork with a heave, flaps his wings as hard as he can, but lacks power and splats over the ground dead.
Moral: Never fly off the handle when you’re full of sh*t.

What’s a fly’s favorite pickup line?
“Is this stool taken?”

Why did the blind fly die of starvation?
Because he couldn’t see sh*t.

Why did the fly fall off the wall?
Because someone tied a piano to its leg.

What has six wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.

A police officer pulls over a farmer for speeding and issues him a penalty.
The farmer spots several flies hovering around, which irritates the officer. The officer is shooing flies rather than writing.
“I see you’re bothered by those circle flies,” the farmer observes.
“If that’s what you call them, yes, they are quite annoying,” the cop responds.
“Yeah, we call them that because we see them circling around the rear ends of horses,” the farmer explains.
The officer says, “Hmmm. Did you just refer to me as a horse’s ass?”
The farmer says, “No, sir, officer. I have much too much respect for law enforcement officers to ever utter such a thing.”
He further adds,” But… it’s difficult to fool those circle flies.”

Do you know that you catch more flies with honey?
But you catch more honeys by being fly.

What do you call a fly that loses its wings and four legs?
A draggin fly.

A woman enters a store on a hot summer morning, takes up a can of fly spray, and inquires, ‘Is this any good for flies?’
“Not really,” says the assistant. “It kills them.”

Recommended: Summer Jokes

What could be worse than discovering a fly in your soup?
Getting hit by a bus.

When a woman entered the kitchen, she discovered her husband lurking about with a fly swatter.
“What are you up to?” she inquired.
“Fly Hunting.” He replied.
“Oh, you’re killing any?” she inquired.
“Yep, three males and two females,” he said.
“How can you tell them apart?” she inquired, intrigued.
“3 were on a beer can, and 2 were on the phone,” he replied.

Mahatma Gandhi would never hurt a fly.
Honestly, he should have chosen a different exterminator.

How do you get a pound of meat out of a fly?
Unzip it.

What happens when there is a fly in your home?
You call the SWAT team.

A wolf hound is being buzzed by a fly.
Fly: What breed of dog are you?
Dog: My breed is a wolf hound.
Fly: What? A wolfhound? Unusual name. Why are they calling you that?
Dog: Well, it’s pretty clear, I suppose. My father was a wolf, and my mother was a hound.
Fly: Oh, I see…
Dog: So, what type of fly are you?
Fly: My name is a horse-fly.

What did the procrastinating spider say to the fly?
“Catch ya later!”

Two flies walk into a bar.
The first fly says, “Waiter, I’ll have the poop with onions.”
The second fly says, “I’ll also have the poop but with no onions. Onions make my breath smell bad.”

Ben was walking down the street when he noticed a lady shouting at him.
“Hello!” Ben exclaimed.
“Wait a minute, your fly is down!” She yelled.
Ben returned his attention to his pet fly. “What’s the deal, dude? You can always reach out to me.”
Fly says, “Oh, it’s been a difficult week. My wife abandoned me. I lost my job, and having your junk out doesn’t make this talk any easier.”

How do flies and mosquitoes differ from one another?
A mosquito can fly, but fly can’t mosquito.

That will be all in our list of the best jokes. Do let us know your fly jokes and puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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