Halloween jokes are like candy for the office. Everyone wants a piece, and the best part is they don’t cause cavities. They sneak into the workday, break the silence of endless emails, and turn even the grumpiest coworker into someone who almost looks friendly. That’s the magic of Halloween Jokes at work, they turn a spooky season into a fun break from deadlines and boring meetings.
In one office, the boss tried to keep things serious, but the moment spooky humor floated around, even the copier seemed to join in by jamming at just the right time. That’s the secret power of these jokes, they not only make people laugh but also give the whole office a sense of shared mischief. It’s like the workplace suddenly wears a costume of laughter, and nobody minds being part of the act.

Best Work-Friendly Halloween Jokes

Why do computer scientists always confuse Christmas and Halloween?
Its cause DEC 25 = OCT 31.

The Government declares Halloween a nationwide statutory holiday. All workers eligible.
For the first time ever, Halloween will be staffed by a skeleton crew!

What three certainties in life?
Death, taxes, and Halloween candy assortments will always include one candy that ruins the bag.

Why do ghosts love elevators?
It lifts their spirits.

Why did the scarecrow get the job?
Because he was out standing in his field.

I was going to be a quarterback for Halloween at work…
…but my boss said we couldn’t be anything offensive.

Why did the French chef quit working at the haunted restaurant?
He got crêped out.

What did the car salesman say to the possessing demon?
“The power of Chrysler compels you!”

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Why is a carpenter always terrified?
Because they saw things.

Matt told his boss that he was coming in to work dressed as his dad for Halloween.
He didn’t show up.

What kind of pants does a ghost wear to the office?
Boo jeans.

If pumpkins were originally placed outside of houses to ward off evil spirits…
That would mean they were on gourd duty!

What’s an accountant’s favorite candy bar?
100 grand.

Why are some people thinking about dressing up as a Banker for Halloween this year?
They think it will gain a lot of interest.

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put.
He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him.
He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently, trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard (barely containing his laughter), who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, “What the heck is going on here?”
The drunk, still staring down, replied: “I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost.”

Why did the ghost quit his job?
They kept making him work the graveyard shift.

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What does a ghost drive to work?
A boogati!

Why is the devil in jail?
He was charged with possession.

Why are bats so bad at business?
They always fly-by-night.

What does Dr. Frankenstein call the graveyard?
Human Resources.

I told my supervisor I’m coming to work on Halloween as a ghost…
l’ll be here but you just won’t be able see me.

Why was the witch late to work?
She over-swept.

What do you call secret agents that only work in Autumn?
Pumpkin Spies.

What does a contractor say on Halloween?
“Brick or Treat.”

James worked at a production line for a toy factory, producing Dracula dolls. Shortly before Halloween, demand was high, but he only had one colleague.
So he had to make every second Count.

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Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.

What’s a grim reaper’s worst enemy?
A life guard.

A man was driving behind a truck carrying pumpkins when the tailgate failed, spilling pumpkins all over his car.
The car was totaled. His insurance claim was denied.
They called it an act of gourd.

Why was the skeleton sad at the Office Halloween party?
Because he had no body to dance with.

The boss said no costumes in the office for Halloween this year.
But my co-worker wore a traditional Indian dress today. She said it was because it is Dewali. I told her that was a sari excuse.

Why Dracula doesn’t want to become an investment banker?
He hates stakeholders.

Where do ghost pilots work?
Spirit Airlines.

Why do vampires make the best bosses?
They’ll always go to bat for you.

On a foggy Halloween night, a man is returning home alone from work when he hears: BUMP… BUMP… BUMP…
Walking faster, he glances back and sees an upright casket smashing its way down the middle of the street toward him through the fog.
BUMP, BUMP, BUMP… Terrified, the man starts running toward his house, the casket trailing behind him. BUMP… BUMP… BUMP…. FASTER… FASTER… BUMP… BUMP… BUMP…. He hurries up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens it, rushes in, slams it shut, and locks it behind him. However, the casket bursts through his door, the casket’s lid clapping. The terrified man rushes with noise behind him clappity-BUMP…clappity-BUMP… clappity-BUMP.
He rushes upstairs to the restroom and locks himself in. His pulse is thumping, his mind is racing, and his breath is spilling out in sobs.
The casket shatters the door with a thunderous CRASH. Bumping and clapping in his direction. The man yells and clutches for… anything.
All he can find is a box of cough drops! Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the coffin….and…of…course, …the coffin stops!

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Why did the ghost get fired from their bartending job?
*spirits kept disappearing*

Why are vampires very bad Product Managers?
Because they refuse to meet with stake holders.

My boss asked why he didn’t see me at work on Halloween.
I told him that I went as god. I clearly was never there, and all the work that got done, I did not do.

Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.

What subject did Dracula major in during college?
AcCOUNTing.

Why did the Grim Reaper schedule an appointment with his eye doctor?
He was having issues with his death perception.

What did the scarecrow say when asked about his job?
“This job isn’t for everyone, but hay…it’s in my jeans”.

Where do pumpkins hold meetings?
The gourdroom.

Why did the Invisible Man turn down the job offer?
The job description wasn’t clear.

What is a ghost’s favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.

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A vampire decided to use his immortality to choose the best job.
He explored every job imaginable, from innovation to building to public service, before landing the job of mirror cleaner.
In his book on the subject, he stated that the tai chi-like arm motions were incredibly calming, and the mirror will undoubtedly become dirty again, resulting in job security.
“I’m as surprised as you are,” wrote the vampire. “It was not a job I could see myself doing.”

Heard about the man who got a job making plastic Dracula before Halloween?
He says, “There’s only two of us working here so I have to make every second count.”

Why should you be a math teacher for Halloween.
Because that’s the scariest thing ever!

Why did the bat search for a job after Halloween?
It was fed up of hanging around.

What does the programmer do when his computer is possessed?
He calls the XORcist.

Did you hear about the kid dressed up as a UDP packet for Halloween?
But don’t think anyone got it.

What do you call a zombie that writes the music?
Decomposer.

Why did Dracula always fail job interviews?
He could never answer, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

What kind of health insurance do Halloween creatures have?
Medi-SCARE!

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What does an IT Vampire leave behind?
A Megabite.

What did the priest do to the possessed gym teacher?
He exorcised.

What happens when one door closes?
A Spirit Halloween store opens.

What did Frankenstein say to his assistant?
“Hey, can you give me a hand?”

How can you tell the Grim Reaper is a good programmer?
He always executes.

What do you call people so good at their jobs, they retire because they did everything?
The mythbusters and ghostbusters.

A kid asks his greedy father for money to buy a police costume for Halloween.
The father told him just go undercover.

How can you tell if a DJ is actually a witch?
If they’re Wicca Wiccan.

Remember that clown from IT?
Always joking around when he should be fixing computers.

Why are dy$lexic zombies, such good plumbers?
Because they’re always looking for drains.

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What monster do golfers fear the most?
The bogeyman.

What did the fishermen say on Halloween?
“Trick or trout.”

Where do vampires that are authors live?
Pennsylvania.

How are bats like real-estate agents?
It’s all echo-location location location.

Where does Dracula get his stationery?
Pencylvania.

What’s the difference between a werewolf and a personnel manager?
One is a shape shifter and the shift shaper.

Why don’t mummies like vacations?
They’re afraid to unwind!

A friend of mine dressed as Bill Gates one Halloween and he looked nothing like him but the next year he dressed as Jim Morrison and the costume was perfect.
I told him he makes a much better door than a window.

Do you have a funny Halloween Joke for work? Write down your best office jokes in the comment section below!