30 Funny International Women’s Day Jokes to Make You Smile

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Jessica Amlee

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International Women’s Day is an annual celebration of women’s social, economic, cultural, and political achievements on March 8th every year. While it’s an occasion to honor and recognize women’s contributions to society, it’s also a great opportunity to lighten the mood and have some fun. That’s where jokes come in! A good joke can uplift spirits, bring people together, and provide a much-needed break from the seriousness of life.

In this blog, we’ll be sharing some of the best International Women’s Day jokes that celebrate women and their accomplishments. From witty one-liners to hilarious anecdotes, these jokes are sure to put a smile on your face and remind you of the power of female humor. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh your way through International Women’s Day!

Best Women’s Day Jokes

International women’s day is not an excuse for low-effort sexist jokes.

Why is a woman’s recommended body fat percentage higher than a man’s?
Because she’s graded on a curve.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(She who?)
She believed she could, so she did. Happy International Women’s Day!

Why did the wife didn’t know it was International Women’s Day?
Because the husband doesn’t keep a calendar in the kitchen.

Do you know why women and children are always evacuated first in any emergency situation?
So that all the men can think and come up with a solution in peace and quiet.

Did you hear about the International women’s day sale on steam?
Everything was 70 cents on the dollar.

What do you call a woman Iron Man?

Why is it International Women’s Day?
Cause yo mamma is that fat.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.

Have you heard about the bf who told his gf that she doesn’t have to do the dishes on women’s day?
He said, “Honey, you don’t have to do the dishes today. Today is your day. You can do them tomorrow.”

Why do most men wish a happy international women’s day to Siri and Alexa?
The only two women who listen to men and do as they say!

Why don’t women wear watches?
Because there is a clock on the stove.

At the yearly family trip to a crocodile farm in Thailand, the eccentric boss dared any of his staff to jump into the crocodile-infested pond… and swim to the beach. Everyone who survives the swim will receive 5 million, but if they are killed by the crocs, the next of kin will receive 2 million. For a long time, no one dared to take up the challenge…
Then, all of a sudden, a man leaped in and swam furiously for his life toward the shore, followed by the crocs, and happily, he survived.
When he managed to recover his breath.. the man, who became an instant millionaire, shouted asking who pushed him into the pond. It was his wife who did it!!!
And from that day, that was how the phrase “Behind every successful man…there’s a woman” came about.

Why do women’s prisons give out tampons on release day?
Because all sentences should end with a period.

Recommended: Period Jokes

Did you know that International Women’s Day has been shifted to 9th march?
It was supposed to be on 8th March but men argue that they will take too long to get ready.

Why is it so hard to argue with a woman who is not wearing a bra?
She already made two great points.

Did you hear about the masseuse who refused to treat women on International Women’s Day?
He was a massagenist.

What do women call men under 6 inches?

On International Women’s Day.
Son: Dad, what if one day all the women disappeared?
Dad: That’s gonna be a pain in the ass.

Why are diversity officers in progressive companies always women?
Because it is cheaper.

What do you call a short woman that became a mother?

This man was going to smoke a cigar on International Women’s Day.
He had a cigarette instead.

Two women are chatting at work.
The first woman says, “My husband surprised me with flowers last night. You know what that means, I’m going to have to spend the entire weekend with my legs in the air….”
Her coworker replies, “Why don’t you just buy a vase?”

Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

Why do women get a month to celebrate, while 9/11 survivors only get a day?
Women need time to mourn their unfortunate luck of being a woman.

What were god’s thoughts after Eve took her first bath in the sea?
“I’ll never get this smell out of the fishes.”

What do April Fools’ Day and International women’s Day have in common?
Both are about practical jokes.

Why no one celebrates women’s day on the streets why?
They are all busy in the kitchen.

Do you know that as a celebration of women’s day, they added a new cosmetic item to the war thunder video game?
Field kitchens.

Do you have funny International Women’s Day jokes? Post your own Women’s Day puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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