75 Funny It’s Colder Than Jokes And Sayings in 2025

“It’s Colder Than” phrases are the winter’s unofficial comedy heroes, offering a hilarious take on those teeth-chattering, shiver-inducing days. These sayings have become a popular way to express just how freezing it is outside, usually in a way that’s more imaginative than a thermometer ever could be. They’re a creative twist on the age-old weather complaint, transforming grumbles about the cold into a contest of wit and humor. Each saying is like a mini-challenge to come up with the most outlandishly cold scenario imaginable. It’s a fun, light-hearted way to bond over the shared misery of a cold snap, turning icy frowns upside down with a good laugh.

Winter has only just begun, so we’ll have at least 2-3 more months of this frigid nonsense. What’s the good news? Laughter makes you feel better. So, take a look at the Internet’s funniest it’s colder than jokes. These are one of the funniest ways to say that it’s cold outside apart from cold jokes. Just keep in mind that winter cannot last forever, but… never mind. It’s pointless to be optimistic. It’s cold outside, and it’s only getting colder.

Best It’s Colder Than Jokes

1. It’s colder than a witch’s t*t in a brass bra on the shady side of the iceberg.
2. It’s colder than the underside of a penguin’s b*llsack.
3. It’s colder than a polar bear’s ice hole.
4. It’s colder than father’s heart when he left for cigarettes and never came back
5. It’s colder than Rickon Stark’s corpse out here.
6. It’s colder than a cast iron toilet on the shady side of an iceberg.
7. It’s colder than a stepmother’s kiss.
8. It’s colder than a mother-in-law’s kiss out there.
9. It’s colder than my ex-wife’s heart.
10. It’s colder than elf nuts outside.
11. It’s colder than Thatcher’s heart out there.
12. It’s colder than a polar bear’s toe nails.
13. It’s colder than a hug from Aunt Francesca.
14. It’s colder than cat sh** here today.
15. It’s colder than a quantum computer’s I/O jack.
16. It’s colder than a whore’s goodbye.
17. It’s colder than Santa’s n*tsack.
18. It’s colder than an Alaskan well-digger’s a** in February.
19. It’s colder than a Himalayan monkey’s butt.
20. It’s colder than planet Akillian.
21. It’s colder than Antarctica.
22. It’s colder than Ice Station Zebra.
23. It’s colder than Melania outside.
24. It’s colder than a baby momma’s heart on the way to get child support.
25. It’s colder than the belt buckle of Kim Jong-un.

---

Recommended: It’s So Cold Jokes

---

26. It’s colder than a banker’s smile.
27. It’s colder than a snowman’s fart outside.
28. It’s colder than a needle in a Baffert horse.
29. It’s colder than a penguin’s ankle socks.
30. It’s colder than a beaver’s t*ts outside.
31. It’s colder than Jötunheimr out here.
32. It’s colder than the morgue out there.
33. It’s colder than a witch’s anatomy out there.
34. It’s colder than a $2 Hooker standing on the street corner waiting on her next customer.
35. It’s colder than a water bottle with peppermint gum.
36. It’s colder than Mrs. Claus coochie out here.
37. It’s colder than a teachers union member’s heart out there.
38. It’s colder than a pimp’s heart outside.
39. It’s colder than a copy editor’s soul out there.
40. It’s colder than a county jail.
41. It’s colder than a kangaroo eating an ice cream sandwich in an igloo.
42. It’s colder than broccoli in the back of the freezer right now.
43. It’s colder than a break up text outside.
44. It’s colder than the Silver Surfer’s an*s.
45. It’s colder than yeti t*tties today.
46. It’s colder than a nun’s thigh.
47. It’s colder than a Viking’s d*ck.
48. It’s colder than a two peckered billy goat.
49. It’s colder than a n*tsack in an ice bath outside.
50. It’s colder than a nitrous tank out there today.

---

Recommended: Dirty Winter Jokes

---

51. It’s colder than chipotle’s cheese out here.
52. It’s colder than when SpongeBob left his fridge open.
53. It’s colder than a recruiter’s heart out there.
54. It’s colder than Mr. Freeze’s fallopian tubes.
55. It’s colder than a freezer.
56. It’s colder than the North and South Pole here.
57. It’s colder than my love life outside.
58. It’s colder than walking out of the shower with no towel.
59. It’s colder than a Michael Jackson moonwalk.
60. It’s colder than the heart of a landlord.
61. It’s colder than the hinges of hell.
62. It’s colder than the frost on a champagne glass.
63. It’s colder than a Tibetan tin toilet top.
64. It’s colder than moonlight on a tombstone.
65. It’s colder than your girlfriend Sandra when you call her Julie.

---

Recommended: Blizzard Jokes

---

66. It’s colder than a tax-collector’s heart.
67. It’s colder than a day-old dumpling.
68. It’s colder than skinny dipping in a snow storm.
69. It’s colder than the jockstrap of Chris Cringle.
70. It’s colder than a blend of dry ice and acetone.
71. It’s colder than a penguin’s pǝcker.
72. It’s colder than a wh0re’s heart on Navy payday.
73. It’s colder than the dark side of the moon.
74. It’s colder than Jack Frost’s breath on a tin roof.
75. It’s colder than a snowman’s soul.
76. It’s colder than the Night King’s stare at the Wall.

---

Recommended: Best Winter Jokes

---

Have a better it’s colder than joke? Please leave your funny one-liners in the comments below!