With that first icy blast of cold air, you immediately feel betrayed by Mother Nature. Of course, that sensation is fleeting, but only because your soul is too frozen to feel anything. Winter, we know we say it every year, but you are the worst.

What’s the bad news? Winter has only just begun, so we’ll have at least 2-3 more months of this frigid nonsense. What’s the good news? Laughter makes you feel better. So, take a look at the Internet’s funniest it’s colder than jokes. These are one of the funniest ways to say that it’s cold outside apart from cold jokes. Just keep in mind that winter cannot last forever, but… never mind. It’s pointless to be optimistic. It’s cold outside, and it’s only getting colder.

Best It’s Colder Than Jokes

It’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra on the shady side of the iceberg.
It’s colder than the underside of a penguin’s ballsack.
It’s colder than a polar bear’s ice hole.
It’s colder than father’s heart when he left for cigarettes and never came back
It’s colder than Rickon Stark’s corpse out here.
It’s colder than a cast iron toilet on the shady side of an iceberg.
It’s colder than a stepmother’s kiss.
It’s colder than a mother-in-law’s kiss out there.
It’s colder than my ex-wife’s heart.
It’s colder than elf nuts outside.
It’s colder than Thatcher’s heart out there.
It’s colder than a polar bear’s toe nails.
It’s colder than a hug from Aunt Francesca.
It’s colder than cat shit here today.
It’s colder than a quantum computer’s I/O jack.
It’s colder than a whore’s goodbye.
It’s colder than Santa’s nutsack.
It’s colder than an Alaskan well-digger’s ass in February.
It’s colder than a Himalayan monkey’s butt.
It’s colder than planet Akillian.
It’s colder than Antarctica.
It’s colder than Ice Station Zebra.
It’s colder than Melania outside.
It’s colder than a baby momma’s heart on the way to get child support.
It’s colder than the belt buckle of Kim Jong-un.

Recommended: It’s So Cold Jokes

It’s colder than a banker’s smile.
It’s colder than a snowman’s fart outside.
It’s colder than a needle in a Baffert horse.
It’s colder than a penguin’s ankle socks.
It’s colder than a beaver’s tits outside.
It’s colder than Jötunheimr out here.
It’s colder than the morgue out there.
It’s colder than a witch’s anatomy out there.
It’s colder than a $2 Hooker standing on the street corner waiting on her next customer.
It’s colder than a water bottle with peppermint gum.
It’s colder than Mrs. Claus coochie out here.
It’s colder than a teachers union member’s heart out there.
It’s colder than a pimp’s heart outside.
It’s colder than a copy editor’s soul out there.
It’s colder than a county jail.
It’s colder than a kangaroo eating an ice cream sandwich in an igloo.
It’s colder than broccoli in the back of the freezer right now.
It’s colder than a break up text outside.
It’s colder than the Silver Surfer’s anus.
It’s colder than yeti titties today.
It’s colder than a nun’s thigh.
It’s colder than a Viking’s dick.
It’s colder than a two peckered billy goat.
It’s colder than a nutsack in an ice bath outside.
It’s colder than a nitrous tank out there today.
It’s colder than chipotle’s cheese out here.
It’s colder than when SpongeBob left his fridge open.
It’s colder than a recruiter’s heart out there.
It’s colder than Mr. Freeze’s fallopian tubes.
It’s colder than a freezer.
It’s colder than the North and South Pole here.
It’s colder than my love life outside.
It’s colder than walking out of the shower with no towel.
It’s colder than a Michael Jackson moonwalk.
It’s colder than the heart of a landlord.
It’s colder than the hinges of hell.
It’s colder than the frost on a champagne glass.
It’s colder than a Tibetan tin toilet top.
It’s colder than moonlight on a tombstone.
It’s colder than your girlfriend Sandra when you call her Julie.
It’s colder than a tax-collector’s heart.
It’s colder than a day-old dumpling.
It’s colder than skinny dipping in a snow storm.
It’s colder than the jockstrap of Chris Cringle.
It is colder than a blend of dry ice and acetone.