The NBA is where very tall people run really fast, bounce a ball, and try to throw it into a hoop that’s 10 feet high as if they were born to play basketball on stilts. It’s full of drama, buzzer-beaters, flying sneakers, and players who act like they’re in a soap opera after every foul. Fans love it, coaches scream like their lives depend on it, and referees somehow always miss the most obvious calls. With all that madness, no wonder people started making NBA Jokes just to stay sane.
Now, once you start watching these games regularly, your brain naturally begins turning slam dunks into punchlines. The way some players fall down after barely being touched is enough to make a stand-up comedian jealous. NBA Jokes don’t just make fun of the game, they celebrate it in the silliest way possible. Because let’s be honest, when players argue with referees like angry toddlers and still get paid millions, it’s hard not to laugh.
Best NBA Jokes
Which NBA team has the lowest payroll?
Milwaukee; they only pay 15 Bucks.
A little-known rule in the NBA: Players are not allowed to own more than 4 chickens as pets.
5 personal fowls and you are out.
Why can’t Lebron James stand on his tippy toes?
He gets no support from his Cavs
There is this great idea for an NBA-themed Fast Food restaurant.
They call it… Shake-Shaq.
In the newest Space Jam movie, Marvin the Martian single handedly defeats the NBA Stars.
It’s a great flick if you’re into Martian scores easy films.
A friend asked me to name all the NBA players.
I politely refused and told him they already have names.
You know how when we were kids, we thought if you dig a deep enough hole, you get to China?
The NBA is going to try to find out!
What do the NBA and a box of crayons have in common?
The whites are useless.
My friend and I got kicked out of an NBA game because we went dressed in brightly coloured chicken suits.
Two flagrant fowls means an automatic ejection.
What do you call a Catholic priest drafted to the NBA?
An air friar.
What do you call a power forward that averages 6 rebounds a game?
A small forward.
Did you hear about the referee who got fired from the NBA?
Supposedly, he’s a whistleblower.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA.
Who is O.J Simpson’s favorite basketball player?
Gary Payton.
Mr. Smith took a career aptitude test with an employment agent.
“Well, Mr. Smith, it looks like we are nearly finished. Just a few more questions and I can determine what career best suits your experience. Mr. Smith, are you good at building and making things yourself?”
“No, not really. I tried making a moose call one time for hunting, but when I used it all that came were bears.”
“How about hunting. Are you a fair shooter?”
“Well, no, not great. My vision has been getting worse the past couple years, so my aim is at a loss.”
“What experience do you have with being caring and nurturing?”
“This one time on my farm, my donkey was in labour. I spent hours taking care of her, on my hands and knees, head between her legs. It was incredible being able to watch the miracle of life.”
“Mr. Smith, I think I have found a career opening for you.”
“Really?”
“You’re blind, you make bad calls, and you’re comfortable with your head in your ass. The NBA needs a referee.”
Why might a French Archeologist be interested in how old an NBA star is?
They might be studying LeBron’s age.
When I was working at McDonald’s, I had to wait on an NBA team.
It was a tall order.
How does Big Shaq compile his software?
From raw source.
Recommended: WNBA Jokes
Why did the NBA player get arrested?
Dunk driving.
What do you call a white guy in the NBA?
The Head Coach.
Who’s India’s favorite basketball player?
Stephen Curry.
What did they call Chewbacca in his first year in the NBA?
A Wookie.
What does a Minnesota Timberwolves fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
He turns off the PlayStation 5.
Kobe was one of the best Lakers players of all time.
But Magic Johnson was definitely the most positive.
There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, “I am Steph Curry, considered one of the NBA’s most prized players. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me, and I can’t afford to die.” So he took the 1st pack and jumped out of the plane.
The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump, said, I am much loved and also the smartest president to have ever ruled in America. So my people don’t want me to die. He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.
The 3rd passenger, the pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10-year-old schoolboy, “My boy, I am old and have lived a long life, you are young and deserve to live yours, I will sacrifice myself and let you take the last parachute!” The young boy replied, “That’s ok, Your Holiness, there’s a parachute left for both of us, America’s smartest President took my school bag!”
Lebron James is like Justin Timberlake.
No matter how good he his, he will never be Michael.
Why do NBA players try to avoid the TSA?
They don’t want to get caught traveling.
Shaq asked on social media what would be a good name for his new boat.
Someone commented: “Call it Free-throw so you won’t ever sink it.”
Did you hear the NBA is opening another franchise in Miami?
It’s not the Heat… it’s the Humidity!
Did you hear about the 7′ NBA star who married a blonde midget?
He was nuts over her.
Why do NBA players do once they go blind?
They become referees.
Don Sterling is so old and so racist…
…He remembers when the NBA draft took place on a dock.
What is the only thing that can’t shoot in Chicago?
Their basketball team.
I was going to tell a joke about Kobe Bryant…
But I wasn’t sure it would land well.
Do you have a funny NBA Joke? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!
How do you win the NBA finals?
One Steph at a time.