Jokes

40 Funny Periodic Table Jokes And Puns Easy To Remember

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Jessica Amlee

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The periodic table is a tabular arrangement of chemical elements, organized on the basis of their atomic number, electron configurations, and chemical properties. The elements are placed in rows and columns according to their increasing atomic number and recurring chemical and physical properties.

People crack periodic table jokes because it is a widely recognized and well-known scientific concept. Jokes about the periodic table often play on the names and properties of the elements, or on the structure of the table itself. For example, jokes may involve puns based on element names, such as “Why was the calcium atom always calm? Because it had a lot of backbone.” The use of humor can make complex scientific concepts more accessible and entertaining, and can also help people remember information more easily.

Best Periodic Table Jokes

What is a pirate’s favorite element in the periodic table?
Gold. Why would a pirate need Argon?!


Did you hear about Kim’s favorite element in the periodic table?
It is ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQSTUVWXYZ or, as it’s also known, R gone.


What’s another name for the Periodic Table of elements?
The atoms family.


Why did Chuck Norris destroy the periodic table?
Because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.


Which element of the Periodic Table is the poorest?
Antimony.


Did you hear that a man recently died after a periodic table display fell on him?
The official cause of death was, “Exposure to the Elements.”


Why is finding a place to sit can be a challenge in the Chemistry Department cafeteria?
They only have periodic tables.


What did Gold say to the periodic table?
“Hey you!”


A world-renowned chemist has passed away.
His will specifies that all of his favorite elements from the periodic table be put in his body.
“Are we really going to put a bunch of elements in his casket?” they ask his wife.
To which she replies, “No, just Barium.”


Did you know that we had a lot of jokes about the periodic table?
But sadly all the good ones argon.


What do you call a table with dots all over it?
The periodic table!


Did you hear about the girl who auditioned for a musical about the periodic table?
She got the lead role!


What does AH stand for in the Periodic Table?
The Element of Surprise.


What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.


Why is it never a good idea to steal a periodic table?
Coppers always Cu.


The periodic table says it’s Bi!
But that’s none of our bismuth.


What’s a weeb’s favorite element on the periodic table?
Manganese.


What’s the stupidest element on the periodic table?
Silicon.


The police knock on the door of the house owned by the Periodic Table.
“We’ve been told there is a strong smell of marijuana coming from your residence, sir,” said the officer.
“I must say whoever called you to say that must be playing some strange game. I do not partake in drug use, gents.”
“Very well,” said the second officer. “May we search your person?”
“You won’t find a J on me,” said the Periodic Table.


What do waitresses and chemists have in common?
They both need to check the table periodically.


Have you heard the joke about the periodic table?
It’s Oxygen Potassium.


What did the scientist say when he found two helium atoms?
“He-He!”


If you ever encounter an evil witch, why should you show them the periodic table?
They’re good at chemistry.


What is the acid of the periodic table?
IO4.


Which element on the periodic table is best at concealing itself?
Hydrogen.


What is Chris Hemsworth’s favorite element on the periodic table?
Thorium.


What is Michael Jackson’s favorite element in the periodic table?
He Helium.


What do you call a tricky woman whose initials are P.B.?
Miss Lead!


Where does the periodic table go on Sundays?
Mass!


What is the only element on the periodic table that has a gender?
Helium.


What is Santa’s favorite element in the periodic table?
Ho Ho Ho.


How do two scientists break the ice?
One of them says, “U and I are on the periodic table.”


What element on the periodic table is the tastiest?
Tongue-sten.


What do you call a restaurant patio that’s only open sometimes?
A periodic table.


What do you call a periodic table with elements after 118?
Theoriodic Table Of Elements.


What piece of furniture does a chemist who dabbles in carpentry make?
Periodic tables.


What did Silver say to Gold at the Periodic Table reunion?
“A, U!”


Recommended: Mole Jokes


Why was the periodic table of elements so wrinkly?
No iron.


When and where do chemists make love?
Periodically, on the table.


Why did the chemist hang up periodic table posters everywhere?
It made him feel like he was in his element.


Have a better Periodic Table joke? Post your own Periodic Table puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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