Jokes

75 Dirty Star Wars Jokes for Naughty Adults (18+)

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Jessica Amlee

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Unleash the force of laughter with our collection of outrageously funny dirty Star Wars jokes! Perfect for fans who aren’t afraid to venture into the cheeky side of the galaxy, these adult-themed zingers will have you and your fellow rebels and Sith lords rolling with laughter.

Whether you’re a Jedi in training or a seasoned space explorer, our compilation of Dark Star Wars jokes is the perfect way to let your other side shine. So grab your lightsaber, hop in the Millennium Falcon, and get ready for a laughter hyperdrive that will leave you giggling like a Wookiee!

Adult Star Wars Jokes

What did Yoda tell Anakin after sleeping with Padame behind his back?
“May divorce be with you.”


Do you know that Stormtroopers never use condoms?
Because even if they come, they always miss!


What’s masturbation called in the star wars universe?
Hand Solo.


Why did Princess Leia date so many guys before she found Han?
She was looking for love in Alderaan places.


How is a single man’s life just like Star Wars?
It’s either Hans Solo, or he has to use force.


Who was the naughtiest character in Star Wars?
R2D2. All of his lines are bleeped out.


Do you know that Yodelling isn’t just a form of singing?
It’s also a warning that old jedi will f*ck you if you’re dishonest. Because Yoda lay he who lie.


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Why couldn’t Anakin Skywalker be promoted to a high Jedi rank?
He would have been a Master Vader.


What did Princess Leia say to Han Solo on their wedding night?
“Into the garbage chute, flyboy!”


A man told his girlfriend that they can either have s*x or go see Star Wars.
She said, “I’m on my period and Star Wars is sold out,” but she pulled some strings and got him in.


Did you know Chewbacca got a girl pregnant the first time he made love?
It was a Wookie mistake.


Why is Darth Vader’s helmet so phallic?
Because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.


Why did Princess Leia spit and not swallow?
Because it was Chewy.


What do you call a Mexican Jedi?
Obi-Juan.


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Who was Princess Leia’s gynecologist?
OB-Wan Kenobi.


What do you call a fat Mexican Jedi?
Obese Juan Kenobi.


A young dude asked his girlfriend to dress up as his favorite Star Wars character for some s*xy roleplaying fun.
He walked into the bedroom that night and he was shocked,
“Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favorite Star Wars character,” he exclaimed.
“F*ck off,” she shouted. “I haven’t got dressed yet.”


What do you call an Italian Jedi?
Obi Wan Cannoli.


Why did the husband ask his wife to dress up as a bounty hunter from Star Wars?
He has a Boba fettish.


Why did Luke Skywalker never marry?
Because he was busy riding Solo.


What did Yoda say before he came in his girlfriend?
Hrmmm…. cloudy the future is!


What do you call Chewbacca’s Chinese cousin?
A Fortune Wookie.


Why was Leia disappointed on her wedding night?
Han shot first.


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What Star Wars character is most likely to get cancer?
Leukemia Skywalker.


What did Han Solo say after accidentally getting Leia pregnant?
“Punch it Chewie.”


The wife finally agreed to a Star Wars role-play in the bedroom.
The only catch was the husband had to be Obi-Wan because she always had a thing for Ewan McGregor.
“Of course!” he said and got to work putting together the s*xiest Obi-Wan costume he could. He even managed to find Glow in the Dark condoms so he could impress her with his “lightsaber”.
The night finally came. Dressed in his Jedi robe he slowly opened the bedroom door. The room was dark. He could only barely make out his wife’s pale naked body, posed sensually on the bed.
He slowly removes his robe, revealing the faint blue glow of his ‘lightsaber’.
“Hello there,” he says, in his best s*xy Obi-Wan accent.
“General Kenobi,” she replied, as four other ‘Lightsabers’ appeared behind her.


What would you call Mike Tyson if he was a villain in Star Wars?
A T*t Lord.


Did you hear that Darth Vader’s girlfriend is really tan?
He likes his women a little on the dark side.


What is Princess Leia’s favorite s*x act?
Giving Han Jobs.


Who did the dyslexic Jedi hunt down?
The Sh*t Lord.


Why is Anakin Skywalker a great baby sitter?
Cause he always puts the kids to sleep.


What do you call a Jedi knight who delivers babies?
Obi-Gyn Kenobi.


What do female Jedi do when their breasts are lopsided?
Padawan.


What do you call a riot in a concentration camp?
Star Wars.


Why did Darth Vader reject all the wh*res at the brothel?
“All Too Easy.”


What was the Nazi’s least favorite Star Wars character?
Jewbacca.


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Why does Yoda say the N-Word?
He hates the dark side.


Why was Han Solo suspicious when he finally got inside Princess Leia?
Because it was Luke warm.
Why was Han Solo suspicious when he was eating Princess Leia?
Because she felt chewy.
Did Han do the right thing when he confronted Leia about these?
No, that night he had to do it Han Solo.


How is circumcision like the Great Jedi Purge?
They both get rid of the force kin!


What’s Princess Leia’s favorite song?
Riding solo by Jason Derulo.


Who’s best at riding solo among all Star Wars characters?
Princess Leia.


How do you know that Darth Vader isn’t a black man underneath the mask?
He claims to be your father.


What is the similarity between Michael Jackson and Darth Vader?
Neither wanted to remain on the Dark Side!


A man buys a robot that slaps people when they tell a lie.
He decides to test it on his family at dinner that night.
The man asked his son, “Son, what did you do after school today?”
The son replied, “Oh, I just did some homework” and the robot slapped the son.
The son said, “Okay I actually watched a movie with my friends”.
The father asked, “What was the movie?”
The son said, “Star Wars, Episode 5”. The robot slapped the son. The son stammered “Okay it was Showgirls”.
The father laughed, “Ugh, I would never watch movies like that”. The robot slapped the dad.
The mom laughed, “He certainly is your son”. The robot slapped the mom.


What’s a police officer’s favorite Star Wars movie?
The Empire Strikes Blacks.


Did you hear that Star Wars fans don’t smoke cigarettes after s*x?
They chew ‘bacca.


What do you call a Star Wars droid that touches kids?
P-3DO.


Did you know Anakin Skywalker was Jewish?
You can tell because he cut up his force kin.


I think Chris Brown should be a stormtrooper in the next Star Wars.
Maybe he can actually hit somebody.


What is the term for someone who gets aroused watching Star Wars?
They have a Bobba Fetish.


Why did the Jedi kill his master?
To get to the other side.


What’s Anakin Skywalker’s favorite beer?
Yeungling. He can kill off a 12-pack by himself.


Best explanation of Star Wars:
The story of an orphaned boy who becomes radicalised after a military strike kills his family. He is indoctrinated into an ancient religion, joins a band of rebel insurgents, and carries out a terrorist attack which kills 300’000 people.


Who looked up Princess Leia’s skirt?
C-Creepy-O.


What do you call a brand new Baby Yoda b*ttplug?
A Toy Yoda Pre-Ass.


Did you hear about the Jewish Sith Lord?
His name was Darth Oy Veyder.


Which Sith lord prefers to cripple his opponents rather than kill them?
Darth Ritis.


Why did Darth Maul jack off into a piece of fruit?
Because the sith always comes in pears.


What is Princess Leia’s favorite p*rn category?
Solo.


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What does Darth Vader say after cutting someone’s head off with a lightsaber?
“I find your lack of face disturbing.”


What do Jedi and r@pists have in common?
They both use “The Force”.


What are the similarities between star wars fans and p*rnhub fans?
Every now and then. When no one is looking. They both love a bit of incest.


Do you have another dirty Star Wars joke? Post your adult Star Wars puns in the comment section below.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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