Thanksgiving is that one day when families gather around a giant meal and somehow end up laughing harder than they chew. Between the turkey, stuffing, and endless mashed potatoes, jokes sneak into the table talk and turn a regular dinner into a comedy show nobody really signed up for, but everyone enjoys.
But the real star of the holiday is obviously Thanksgiving Dad Jokes. These are the jokes that make half the table groan and the other half laugh so hard they drop their forks. They’re short, silly, and perfectly timed, bringing the kind of humor that keeps Thanksgiving from being just about food and turns it into a tradition of laughter too.
Best Thanksgiving Dad Jokes
What do you call a turkey that was served during Thanksgiving but still capable of pinching, biting, hitting, and tripping people?
A poultry-geist!
What can never be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?
Thanksgiving breakfast.
Just before sweet potatoes are mashed, they become very quiet.
This is known as “the silence of the yams”.
Why did the turkey get detention at school?
They were heard using “fowl” language…
What does Miley Cyrus serve on Thanksgiving?
Twerky.
Gravity is one of the fundamental forces of the universe. What happens when it is removed?
Gravy.
Why did the turkey cross the suspension bridge?
To show he wasn’t chicken.
What song should you listen to on Thanksgiving?
“All About That Baste.”
What kind of vegetables would you like on Thanksgiving?
Beets me!
What’s something usually insulting, but not on Thanksgiving?
A family member giving you the bird.
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What’s a pumpkin’s favorite game?
Squash.
Why were the beans accused of being jealous of the other side dishes?
They were so green.
Why did Turkey cross the road?
It wanted to avoid the Thanksgiving dinner table and blend in with the chickens.
What’s a running turkey called?
Fast food.
In our house, we celebrate Thanksgiving every day.
In other words, we eat too much and sit around watching TV.
Who should you invite to your Friendsgiving?
Your close group of Palgrims.
Which Marvel villain loves Thanksgiving the most?
Goblin.
Who should you invite to your Friendsgiving?
Your close group of Palgrims.
What instrument does a turkey play?
The drumsticks.
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Why did the turkey bring a microphone to dinner?
He was ready for a roast.
What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie?
Your teeth.
What Thanksgiving treat is the most popular at the kids’ table?
Crayon-berry sauce.
What is a good way to greet people on Thanksgiving?
“Howdy pilgrim!”
If Pilgrims were still alive, what would they be known for?
Their age.
Did you know that some say their favorite Thanksgiving food is pie?
It’s irrational.
What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
“Wing, wing.”
What do you call an indecisive potato?
A hesitater.
The day after the holiday, what did the fridge say when it was asked, “Is everything alright over here?”
“No, everything is all leftover here!”
Why did the Black Friday shopper cross the mall?
To get to the clearance side.
How do you really save cash on Black Friday?
Don’t leave the couch.
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Why don’t turkeys eat on Thanksgiving?
Because they’re stuffed.
What would Michael Scott say while passing a plate of vegetables?
“Boom! Roasted.”
Who helped the squash cross the road?
The crossing gourd.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Did you hear about the scarecrow who won first prize?
It was outstanding in its field.
What can you call your brother who falls asleep after dinner?
Your napkin.
Why is corn so popular on Thanksgiving?
Because it’s a-maize-ing.
What is something that describes both political talk and filling up your plate of food?
Choosing sides.
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?
“Quack! Quack!”
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Why do turkeys gobble?
Because no one taught them table manners.
What do you need to make Thanksgiving s’mores?
Pil-grahams.
What is Thanksgiving called in England?
Thursday.
What did the Thanksgiving turkey say to the Christmas ham?
“Nice to meat you.”
What do sweet potatoes wear to bed?
Yammies!
What’s blue and covered in feathers?
A turkey holding its breath.
Why don’t you ever tell secrets at the Thanksgiving dinner table?
Because the corn has ears.
What did the ocean say when it saw the Mayflower crossing?
Nothing. It just waved.
What does Dracula call Thanksgiving?
Fangs-giving.
Did you hear about the turkey that plays baseball?
He covers first baste.
What did the Mandalorian say about how to cook the Thanksgiving turkey?
“…This is the way.”
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Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wear their buckles on their hats!
Why did the cranberry sauce cross the road?
To get to the other sides.
Did you hear the one about the rude turkey?
It was jerk-y.
I hate Thanksgiving Dad Jokes…
They’re just so corny.
What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?
“I liked the leftovers before they were cool.”
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
If things go wrong with Thanksgiving dinner, don’t lose your head.
The turkey already did that for you.
Why didn’t the pilgrim want to make the bread?
It’s a crummy job.
What’s a mathematician’s favorite part of Thanksgiving?
Pumpkin π.
What do Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common?
One has gobblers, the other goblins.
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What did the mother turkey say to the little turkeys on Thanksgiving?
“Mind your manners! If your dad could see you now, he‘d roll over in his gravy!”
When is the turkey soup bad for your health?
When you are the turkey.
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In a dictionary.
How do leaves get to Thanksgiving dinner?
By autumn-mobile.
What makes every Thanksgiving meal extra-basic?
Pumpkin spice.
Why did the Pilgrim go to the beach?
She wanted to get a puri-tan.
What happens when you’re too harsh on cranberries and make them sad?
They turn into blueberries.
Did you hear about pumpkin pie that apologized to the Pilgrim?
It was a piece offering.
What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot.
What’s a turkey’s favorite month?
They don’t have one, but they prefer any other than November!
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What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to at the first Thanksgiving feast?
Plymouth Rock!
What do you call the day after Black Friday?
Broke Saturday.
Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?
He lost track of thyme.
“Got any cornbread jokes?”
“I do, but they’re corny.”
What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
Fowl weather!
Did you hear about the turkey prom?
It was a Butterball.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
You can mash potatoes.
Why are turkeys good at rebelling?
They love a coup.
Why was the Thanksgiving feast expensive?
It had 24 carrots!
What was the turkey thankful for on Thanksgiving?
Vegetarians.
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What’s the proper way to introduce yourself to a turkey on Thanksgiving?
“Slice to meat you.”
What did pilgrims use to bake cookies?
May-flour!
What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner?
The casse-role.
Why did the farmer enter the cider-making contest?
He loved the apple-ause.
What kind of key is edible?
A turkey on Thanksgiving.
What’s weird about Thanksgiving?
It is the only holiday where you eat the mascot.
Why don’t Turkeys play baseball?
Because every hits a fowl ball.
What did Han Solo say to Luke Skywalker on Thanksgiving?
“May the forks be with you.”
What do you call a crayon that looks like a strawberry?
A cranberry.
If Pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
Scholar ships.
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What breed of dog races on Thanksgiving?
Gravyhounds.
What’s a turkey without feathers called?
Thanksgiving dinner.
My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving Dad Jokes…
But I can’t quit cold Turkey.
What did the Pilgrims wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A Har-VEST.
What does a pumpkin like to read?
Pulp fiction.
Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?
He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?
Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Why are the cranberries red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
What did one plate say to the other plate?
“Dinner is on me!”
What’s the problem eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?
You’ll get autumn’y ache.
Why did the apple pie cry?
Its peelings were hurt.
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What smells the best at Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose.
What did the obstetrician say when Thanksgiving was ready?
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”
What do you call a turkey after Thanksgiving?
Lucky.
What do you call a turkey’s evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
What kind of pie does a smartphone eat?
App-ful pie.
What happened when the cannibal showed up late to Thanksgiving dinner?
He got the cold shoulder.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do turkeys do on Sunday?
Have peck-nics.
What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter G.
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course! Buildings can’t jump.
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What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler!
What time do families sit down to Thanksgiving dinner?
Halftime.
Why did the Pilgrim stand on the corn?
He wanted to be a corn-ered hero!
What did the mashed potatoes say to the gravy?
“You’re unforgettable.”
Why did the Pilgrim get kicked out of the football game?
Too many fowl plays.
Do you know where you can get turkey stock in bulk?
The stock market.
What’s stuffing’s favorite karaoke anthem?
“Hit me baby one more thyme.”
Why did the sweet potato blush?
Because it saw the yams.
What might you say to someone who won an award for the best Thanksgiving Succotash recipe?
Corn-gratulations!
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting!
What kind of tan did pilgrims get?
Puritan.
Where did the first corn come from?
The stalk brought it.
What do you call a bowl of cranberry sauce falling off the table?
A flying saucer.
What did Frankenstein bring to Thanksgiving Dinner?
The Monster Mash-ed Potatoes!
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What do you call a sarcastic turkey?
A smirk-key!
Why is Thanksgiving such a clever holiday?
Because it is in Know-vember.
What did the big pumpkin say to the little pumpkin?
“Let’s have a showdown. Whip whip wop!”
What did the leftover turkey say?
“Make me a sandwich!”
What do you call gravy when the turkey is dry?
The gift that keeps on Thanksgiving.
Why was the cornbread fired from his job?
It was loafing around too much.
What did the brick road say on Thanksgiving?
“Cobble cobble cobble!”
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
“If your father could see you now, he’d be turning over in his gravy!”
What does a turkey dress up as on Halloween?
A gobblin.
Why did the Pilgrim die in the car crash?
Because he didn’t buckle up.
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What should you serve with a Halloween turkey?
Gravey.
When did the Pilgrims first say, “God bless America”?
The first time they heard America sneeze.
You hear about the two turkeys who got into a fight?
They beat the stuffing outta each other.
What’s a potato’s favorite game to play?
MASH.
Why do wrestlers love Thanksgiving?
Because it’s always on THURSDAY, THURSDAY, THURSDAY!
Do you have a funny Thanksgiving Dad Joke? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!
I use a pumpkin patch to control my pumpkin addiction.
We peeled many ears of corn, and the results were shucking!
Police say that the man who fell into a combine harvester while trying to steal it, has been bailed.