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50 Funny Gravy Jokes And Puns For Holiday Season

Funny Gravy Jokes
Funny Gravy Jokes

We’ve all made gravy before. Cook down the drippings from whatever beast you’ve been cooking with some water and starch. The end result is a delicious gelatinous sauce that people have enjoyed for centuries. Today, we are going to enjoy the funniest gravy jokes and related puns.

Making gravy by hand may appear simple, but in the industrial era, anything that can be done faster was, and fatty, starchy sauces are no exception. It’s likely that the first Thanksgiving gravy was made from the remains of whatever meat was roasted, thrown in a pot, and boiled to make broth. Grain was added to the broth to thicken it, resulting in gravy. Let’s read em’ all.

Best Gravy Jokes

Did you hear about a book called “Fifty Shades of Gravy”?
It’s very saucy.


Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Possum.
Possum who?
Possum gravy on my potatoes, please.


Did you hear the wife scream at her husband for spilling the gravy?
That’s when he realized it was all over.


Yo mama so fat, her blood type is gravy.


You know you’re fat when your piss smells like gravy.
You know you’re really fat when it tastes like gravy.


What do you call a man who smells of gravy?
Stu!


Did you hear about the guy who tried to invest in the gravy industry?
But there wasn’t much stock in it.


Gravity is one of the fundamental forces in the Universe. What do you get when you remove it?
Gravy.


Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Handsome.
(Handsome who?)
Handsome gravy to me, please.


What’s the deadliest of the sauces?
Gravy.


How do you get your dog to like mashed potatoes?
You gravy train.


What did the mother turkey say to the little turkeys on Thanksgiving?
Mind your manners! If your dad could see you now, he‘d roll over in his gravy!


Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Don.
(Don who?)
Don eat all the gravy, I want some more.


Did you hear about the boys thinking about starting a band called Gravy?
They’re just gonna cover Meat loaf.


So you died from eating too much gravy?
You went from the ladle to the grave.


What do you call a Russian leader covered in gravy and cheese curds?
Vladimir Poutine.


A young priest was invited to dinner by an elderly priest. The young priest couldn’t help but notice how attractive and shapely the housekeeper was during the meal. Throughout the evening, he began to wonder if there was more to the elderly priest and the housekeeper than met the eye. “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship with my housekeeper is purely professional,” the elderly priest said, reading the young priest’s thoughts.
About a week later the housekeeper came to the elderly priest and said, “Father, ever since the young Father came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose he took it do you?” The priest said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write him a letter just to be sure.” So he sat down and wrote: “Dear Father, I’m not saying that you ‘did” and I’m not saying you ‘didn’t’, but the fact remains that ever since you were here for dinner, the silver gravy ladle has been missing.”
Several days later, the elderly priest received a letter from the young priest which read: “Dear Father, I’m not saying that you ‘do’ and I’m not saying you ‘don’t’ But the fact remains that if you were sleeping in your own bed, you would have found the silver gravy ladle.


Why are fat couples always so close?
Gravity.


Recommended: Fat People Jokes


What does the skeleton eat?
Gravy.


What do you call a group of gravy boats?
A gravy Navy.


Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Argue.
(Argue who?)
Argue going to pass the gravy or what?!


What do you call a man with gravy and potatoes on his head?
Stew.


What does professor Frink put on his steak?
HOYVIN GRAVY.


Two missionaries sat in a large pot of water while several cannibals built a fire beneath the pot.
Other cannibals were busy slicing potatoes, carrots, and other vegetables into the pot with the two missionaries.
The missionaries began to sweat as the water became increasingly hot.
As the two missionaries’ deaths approached, one of them began to laugh and laugh.
The other one looked at him and said, “Pardon my ignorance but would you tell me exactly what it is about our current situation you find amusing?”
The first one answering back through his laughter said, “I just pissed and shat in the gravy.”


Did you hear about the guy whose mom and dad both died of morbid obesity last year?
Every Sunday, around supper time, he visits their gravies.


Yo mama is so fat and so old, she’s currently rolling over in her gravy.


If an astronaut lost his gravy in space, what would it be called?
It would make it anti gravy-ty.


Did you hear about the guy who has been to visit his grandmother’s grave three times this week and each time someone has mysteriously covered it in gravy granules?
The plot thickens.


Have you heard the story about the comedian who drank a pot of gravy?
They say he was a laughing stock.


A wife was making gravy for dinner.
She added some corn starch, but it got too thick. To thin it out she added some water, but then it was too thin again. It went back and forth a few times before the husband said, “Ahh. I get it. It’s a viscous cycle.”


What’s a turkey’s favorite song?
In the gravy.


Recommended: Turkey Jokes


Did you hear about the gravy that ended up being pretty impolite?
It was acting super ROUXd.


Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Gravy!
(Gravy who?)
Gravy Crockett!


Did you hear about the Canadian friend who eats a bowl of fries, cheese curds, and brown gravy every single morning?
It’s just his daily poutine.


What did the gravy fear?
Goblin.


What breed of dog races on Thanksgiving?
Gravyhounds.


What did the gravy have to say about the mashed potatoes?
“You are a-peeling.”


One day a blind man goes to a restaurant.
The server asked if he wanted to see the menu.
“No, I am blind,” says the blind man, “just bring me a dirty fork and I will smell it and order.”
Confounded, the server goes to the kitchen and returns with a dirty fork.
“I’ll have the beef steak with mashed potatoes and gravy, and some chocolate brownies for dessert,” the blind man says after smelling it.
The server brings him his food, and the blind man eats, pays the bill, and departs.
The blind man returns to the same restaurant the following week.
The server recognizes him and, curious about the blind man’s sense of smell, go to the kitchen and requests a spoon from his wife, Brenda.
Brenda, his wife, is instructed to rub the spoon all over her private parts, which she does.
The server hands the dirty spoon to the blind man. The blind man takes a whiff and says, “I didn’t know Brenda worked here.”


Yo mama so fat, when she broke her leg gravy poured out.


What do you call gravy when the turkey is dry?
The gift that keeps on Thanksgiving.


Why was the gravy sent to the principal’s office?
It was acting saucy.


What is an undertaker’s favorite condiment?
Gravy.


Just had Steven Hawking over for dinner.
The bag of gravy he brought with him tasted f#cking disgusting!


A young lady walks into the dry cleaners and asks the man at the counter if he can get a particular stain out of her mini skirt.
He examines the garment, says it should be no problem, takes the soiled skirt, and says, “Thank you, come again.”
She replies as she is walking out the door, “What? No, it was just gravy this time.”


What did one drip of meat juice say to the other?
“Looks like we’re in the same boat.”


If 1+1 makes 2.
2×2 makes 4.
3×3 makes 9.
How come 0x0 makes gravy?!


Recommended: Mistletoe Jokes


What’s the difference between gravy and jus?
One arrives in a boat, the other leaves in a train.


Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Noah.
(Noah who?)
Noah good gravy recipe?!


What do you get when it rains mashed potatoes and gravy?
Spuddles.


Have you got a better gravy joke? Please leave your own gravy puns and one-liners in the comments!

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