Chiropractors, the unsung heroes of the back-cracking world, are like magicians for your spine. With a twist here and a pop there, they turn back pains and stiff necks into distant memories. Imagine them as body mechanics, but instead of fixing cars, they’re tuning up human bodies, making sure every part is aligned and running smoothly. A visit to the chiropractor is like taking your skeleton out for a spa day. They’re experts in making sure your body’s framework is in tip-top shape, aligning bones and easing muscles with the precision of a ninja. But, just like any profession that involves twisting people into pretzels, chiropractors have a funny bone too, and that’s where chiropractor jokes come into play.
Chiropractor jokes are the secret sauce that makes the whole experience of getting adjusted a bit less daunting and a lot more fun. They’re like the comedic relief in a movie about back pain. These jokes stretch from puns that could make your bones giggle to witty one-liners that are so good, they almost require a chiropractic adjustment themselves. Imagine if chiropractors had a motto, “We’ve got your back, and your funny bone too!” The world of chiropractors is full of opportunities for laughter, from the way patients walk in, slightly resembling question marks, to the grand finale of cracks and pops that sound like a percussion band. So, let’s lean back (carefully, of course), relax, and enjoy the lighter side of chiropractic care, where the only thing that’s stiff is the competition for the best joke.
Best Chiropractor Jokes
Why do some people hate chiropractors?
They’re all crack addicts.
How do you know you’re fifty?
When your chiropractor sends you birthday cards.
Yo mama so old, her chiropractor is a paleontologist.
My friend told me to visit the chiropractor and I was sceptical at first…!
But now I stand corrected.
Why can you trust a chiropractor?
They always have your back.
What did the chiropractor say after you broke your foot in two places?
He told you to stop going to those places.
What do you call a chiropractor who genuinely enjoys his work?
A crack addict.
What do people in Egypt call chiropractors?
A cairopractor.
What is a chiropractor’s favourite food?
Baby crack ribs.
What made the composer see the chiropractor?
He had Bach problems.
Why does one have to quit going to chiropractors?
They are always trying to manipulate you.
When Eminem came in, what part of his body did the chiropractor fix?
♪ Shady’s back ♪
A man walks up to a chiropractor and says, “Doc my back is fine!”
The chiropractor then proceeds to crack his back in several places. Afterwards, the man feels relief and is standing several inches taller.
He says, “I stand corrected.”
What did the octopus receive from the chiropractor?
A back kraken.
Why was the government agency after the chiropractor?
He owed back taxes.
Who is a chiropractor’s favorite actor?
Tom Cruise.
What made the gay man reach out to the chiropractor?
He couldn’t sit straight.
What happened when the chiropractor and a person got into a terrible fight in the middle of his neck treatment?
Now the person has to spend the rest of his life looking over his shoulder.
How are chiropractors and comedians similar?
They both crack people up.
Why did the duck walk into a chiropractor‘s office?
It wanted to get its bones quacked.
What do you call an impoverished white pseudo spine doctor who is obsessed with fire?
A pyro cracker chiropractor.
Why is it best to see your chiropractor for your fetishes?
Because he can help you work out your kinks.
What is the difference between a chiropractor and a police officer?
One takes a crack at it and then sends the customer home, while the other takes a crack addict and throws him in jail for an extended period of time. But it’s not all about differences. They both provide immediate relief, but there is little evidence to support their long-term effectiveness, nor is there much justification for their use of force. But we understand. Many of you are enraged right now because one career is scrutinized. I know you’re sitting like that “Sure, one group is a fraud, but the other folks are significant. For God’s sake, they’re the backbone of society! They keep the weak-willed among us in line!” And to that, I say, “I don’t care. F*ck chiropractors!”
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What kind of music do chiropractors like?
Hip Pop.
How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. But it takes about 8-10 visits.
My chiropractor makes me feel like a Rice Krispy treat.
But that just may be the marshmallow spread he rubs all over me.
What do you say about a chiropractor who sees two patients at once?
Back to back.
What happens when an NFL player is denied a chiropractor?
Crackback block.
What do you call two chiropractors who’ve got each other’s backs?
Vertebros.
Why did the fraction one fifth go to the chiropractor?
Because he was two tenths.
Why did the Microraptor go to the chiropractor?
He was a little dinosore.
What does your chiropractor say to you when you return to his clinic after a long time?
“Back again.”
A lawyer is in a long line at the movie theatre. Suddenly, he feels pressing on his shoulders, back, and neck. The attorney turns around.
“What in the world are you thinking?” says the lawyer to the man behind.
“I’m a chiropractor, and I’m simply practising while I wait in line,” replied the man.
“Well, I’m a lawyer, but you don’t see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?”
Why shouldn’t you ever let a chiropractor tell you a joke?
It’ll hit your funny bone.
What did Huey Lewis say when he visited his chiropractor?
I need my hip to be square.
What is a chiropractor’s favourite drug?
Crack.
What happens when a chiropractor sent most of his staff home due to a pandemic?
Now his office is run by a skeleton crew.
Why was the chiropractor’s clinic called punctuation?
Because it’s a posture fee.
Why did the two chiropractors hurry to finish lunch?
They had to get backs to work.
What do chiropractors drink to get drunk?
Backardi.
What is a chiropractor’s busiest day?
Throwback Thursday.
Why did Avogadro stop going to the chiropractor on October 24?
He was only tense to the 23rd.
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A chiropractor enters a bar. He settles in near the bartender and orders a beer. He takes a sip and discovers an old friend sitting next to him. He moves his gaze to his side. “Hello, Tim! How are you doing, man?” Over a few beers, they catch up. “So what have you been up to all these years?” the chiropractor eventually asks. Tim shrugs his shoulders and says, “Oh you know me, just kickin’ ass and takin’ names. So, how about you?”
The chiropractor takes a sip of his beer then looks toward him and says, “What can I say? I’ve just been breakin’ necks and cashin’ checks.”
What made Quasimodo think that he needs to see a chiropractor?
Oh, it’s just a hunch..!
Does anyone need some old copies of Chiropractor Monthly?
I have lots of back issues.
Why was the chiropractor a good interrogator?
He always got the suspect to crack.
What can tell about someone who can’t function unless they visit a chiropractor?
Afraid they are addicted to crack.
What do you call a superhero chiropractor?
You call him back, man!
When is the next open slot at the chiropractor?
Necks weak.
What is the Chiropractor’s side hustle?
Crack dealer.
What do you call an underwater chiropractor?
A cracken.
Three doctors are sitting on a park bench when a man limps past them.
The first doctor sees him and says, “I’ve been a podiatrist for 10 years, and I bet $1000 that man has bone spurs.”
“No way!” says the chiropractor, “I’ve had my practice for 20 years and that is a clear-cut spinal issue. Can’t you see how crooked his back is?”
“Nope,” says the orthopaedic surgeon. “I’ve had more training than both of you combined and I’m certain that this man has hip damage.”
The doctor’s arguing grew so loud that the man overheard them.
“Well gentlemen,” he said, “All four of us were wrong.”
“I thought it was a fart!”
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Did you hear about the psychiatric chiropractor?
He specializes in attitude adjustments.
What is the hardest job in the world?
Chiropractor. It’s back breaking work.
Is there anyone who remembers the joke told about the chiropractor?
It was about a weak back.
Why do Carpenters make good Chiropractors?
They already know a lot about lumbar.
What is the best name for a chiropractor business?
Back Straight Boys.
Why are chiropractors so happy?
All their clients are kinky.
What did the chiropractor say when they hurt their back?
“Ow.”
Hope you loved these jokes on Chiropractors! These hilarious puns and one-liners can make your visit more enjoyable.
Chiropractors think the body is controlled by mystic forces? LOLOLOL Who wrote this nonsense. Chiropractors relieve nerve interference by moving bones off of pinched nerves. They do this to maintain good communication between the body and mind. Any good Chiropractor could care less about back pain. Relieving pinched nerves makes the back feel better, but that’s not the goal. The goal is to keep the whole body healthy by maintaining spinal integrity. Don’t post misinformation. Even if this page is a big joke.
I subscribe to chiropractor monthly!
I’ve got a lot of back issues.