70 Funny Gynecologist Jokes Straight From The Exam Room

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Jessica Amlee


A gynecologist is a doctor specializing in women’s health, with a focus on the female reproductive system. They deal with a wide range of issues, including pregnancy, childbirth, menstruation and fertility issues, hormone disorders, and others. It’s a profession that requires not only a great deal of medical knowledge and skill but also a good bedside manner, as they’re dealing with some of the most intimate and sensitive health concerns. The role of a gynecologist is crucial in ensuring the health and well-being of women at various stages of their life, offering both medical and often emotional support.

When it comes to gynecologist jokes, the humor often lies in the awkward situations and misunderstandings that can arise in this uniquely intimate branch of medicine. Picture scenarios like a gynecologist at a party, dodging the “what do you do for a living?” question to avoid turning casual chatter into a biology lesson. Or consider the comedic potential of a gynecologist trying to navigate a first date without bringing up work, only to find out their date is equally squeamish about discussing occupations. These jokes might also play on the various misconceptions about the profession, like a gynecologist being seen as a ‘know-it-all’ about women by their clueless friends or the amusing mishaps that come with keeping a straight face in the face of unexpected comments from patients. The humor here is light-hearted, acknowledging the peculiarities and unique challenges faced by these medical professionals in a funny, relatable way.

Best Gynecologist Jokes

What do a dog and a nearsighted gynecologist have in common?
A wet nose.

What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.

What do you call a deaf gynecologist?
A lip reader.

How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.

What do you call a blind gynecologist?
A pain in the a**.

Yo mama so fat, her gynecologist had to use tunneling equipment.

How many gynecologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
“I’m asking because mine had to call like six other guys in to help him, and I’m really starting to wonder why I needed one installed down there in the first place.”

What’s common between a Game Tester and a Gynecologist?
They both look for problems in places where other men find pleasure.

Wife: My gynecologist recognized me at the grocery store today.
Husband: You’ll have to start wearing longer skirts then.

Do you know that Urologists have significantly better techniques than gynecologists?
A man said, “My wife says her gynecologist uses hand tools while my last prostate exam was digital.”

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out.
Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.
He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the Instructor,”I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result. I wonder if there is an error in the grade.”
The Instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark.”
After a pause, the instructor added, “| gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler which I’ve never seen done in my entire career.”

What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common?
They can smell it, but they can’t eat it.

What do you call a Rastafarian gynecologist?

A lady dwarf goes to her gynecologist for her annual check-up.
“Any issues or concerns?” asks the doctor.
“Well, now that you mention it, I have noticed that when it rains, my l*bia gets a bit red and sore.”
“That’s very unusual”, says the Doc, “Hop up on the table and let me take a look.”
She does, and after a few minutes of checking, he says she can get dressed again.
“There doesn’t appear to be anything wrong at the moment, but next time it rains, and you get the same reaction, I want you to come straight in. OK?”
About two weeks later, after two days of steady rain, she’s in a fair amount of discomfort and heads to the doctor’s office.
The doctor has her stand in front of him and gets her to lift up her skirt. Examining her for a few moments he says, ” You’re right, it’s very inflamed, but I think I see the problem.”

How do gynecologists like their eggs?

Yo mama’s gynecologist called, he wants his ring, his watch, and his sleeve back.

Why are cyborg gynecologists sexist?
Because they treat women-like objects.

He goes to his desk, grabs a pair of surgical scissors, and sits back down in front of her. “This won’t hurt a bit”, he says as the scissors near her crotch.
She’s so afraid that she has to look away. After a couple of minutes of cutting he tells her, “OK, you can let your skirt down now. Try a few steps around the office and see if that’s made a difference.”
Cautiously at first, she takes little steps, then her eyes light up and she takes several big strides.
“Oh Doc!”, she exclaims joyfully, “That’s such a relief, what did you do?!”
“Not much”, he said, “I just cut about two inches off the top of your rubber boots.”

A doctor goes to the hospital and wants to apply to be the chief gynecologist.
He asked if there were any openings.

Why did the gynecologist wash their hands?
Because they were afraid of crotch-contamination.

A gynecologist waits on his last patient, who does not arrive.
After an hour, he makes a gin and tonic to relax. After he settles into an armchair to read the newspaper, he hears the doorbell ring.
It’s the patient, who arrives all embarrassed and apologizes for the delay.
“It doesn’t matter,” answers the doctor.
“Look, I was having a gin and tonic while waiting. Do you want one to help you relax?”
“I accept, thanks!” She answers.
He gives her a drink, sits down in front of her and they start talking.
Suddenly someone is heard opening the entrance office door.
The doctor looks worried, gets up, and says:
“My wife! Quick, take off your clothes and spread your legs, otherwise, she might think there is some nonsense going on!”

What do you call a starseeing gynecologist?

What is the male equivalent of a gynecologist?
A “Guy”necologist.

A mother takes her teenage daughter to her gynecologist appointment
The doctor performs a routine test and discovers the teen is pregnant. Her mother’s face turns beet red. If smoke could escape her ears, it would fill the room.
The daughter pleads, “Mother, the doctor must be wrong, I’ve never even kissed a boy!!”
Upon hearing this, the doctor get up from his seat and walks to look out the window, apparently searching for something.
The confused mother asks what he might be looking for.
He replies, “The last time this happened, a star appeared in the East, and I’m checking to see if it has returned.”

What’s the difference between an Archeologist and a Gynecologist?
They specialize in different kinds of periods.

Did you hear about the gynecologist with the big to-do list?
She checked another box, then checked another box.

A couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife.
She turns over and says, “I’m sorry, honey. I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh.” The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. “Do you have a dentist appointment, too?”

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What’s something a dentist can say but a gynecologist cannot?
“I’m a dentist.”

What’s a gynecologist’s favorite video game?
Womb Raider.

A woman walks into the dentist’s office, she sits in the chair, takes her skirt off, takes her underwear off, and spreads her legs waiting for the dentist.
The dentist is, obviously, shocked and begins to mutter “Miss, this must be a mistake, the Gynecologist’s office is 2 blocks over…” to which the woman responds “No, it’s no mistake, doctor. You put in my husband’s dentures, you’ll take them out.”

What is a male gynecologist like?
An auto mechanic who never owned a car.

A baker and a gynecologist are very similar.
They both get to smell it but neither get to taste it.

A woman walked into the exam room.
The doctor asked her, ‟What’s the problem?”
She pointed down to her crotch and replied, ‟Doctor it is my vag. It has absolutely no smell.”
‟Go ahead and hop up on the exam chair and let’s take a look,” said the doctor as he pulled out his pen light.
Once on the chair with her feet in the stirrups, the doctor leaned in to take a look. Immediately he popped his head up and exclaimed ‟We need to operate right away!”
‟On my vag?” questioned the woman.
‟No,” said the doctor.‟On your nose.”

What does every gynecologist have to do before graduating med school?
Study abroad.

Yo mama so fat when the gynecologist looked in a guy with a flashlight came out saying, “Thanks, buddy. I’ve been trapped in there for a week.”

What do you call a disreputable gynecologist?
Dr. Quackenbush.

A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous.
While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves. The patient says no. The doctor says, “There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry.”
She does not crack a smile, but later she laughs.
The doctor asks, “What’s so funny?”
She answers, “I’m imagining how they make condoms.”

What did the mechanic say to the gynecologist?
“Make sure you check under the hood!”

Two women were talking about gynecologists.
“You know, my gynecologist is so hot”
“Really? And is he married?”
“I didn’t feel any ring!”

A gynecologist tells a lesbian patient, “You have the cleanest vag I have ever seen!”
She said, “I have a woman come in once a week.”

A moth walks into a gynecologist’s office.
He sits down, put his legs in the stirrups and everything.
“Doc, I feel terrible. I think my wife is cheating on me. Sometimes I come home and I feel like I see other moths flying out the backyard.
I think my boy’s on drugs. I found a lighter and some paper in his room the other day.
My daughter’s going through puberty and older men are starting to notice her… I don’t think I’m ready for all that, you know?
On top of that, my back is always hurting, and I’m just tired… All the time, Doc, I’m just tired. I didn’t think life would go on as long as it has, and it’s honestly been really hard.
Especially since my brother died. You know, he got shocked by one of them bug zapper things. He was on his way to work. He was a good moth. Why do bad things happen to good moths, Doc?”
At this point, the gynecologist interrupts, saying “That all sounds really terrible. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. It sounds like you need to see a psychiatrist, why did you come here?”
The moth replies “Oh, because the light was on.”

Why are gynecologists and proctologists so tolerant?
They’re used to dealing with c*nts and arseholes all day!

Yo mama so fat when she went to the gynecologist, they finally found the soccer team that had been lost for a week.

Why don’t women over 80 visit gynecologists?
“Have you ever tried to open a cheese toastie?”

A chicken farmer goes into a bar, takes a seat next to a woman, and orders a glass of champagne.
The woman perks up and says, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!”
He turns to her and says, “What a coincidence. This is a special day for me, I’m celebrating.”
“This is a special day for me, too, and I’m also celebrating,” says the woman.
“What a coincidence,” says the man. They clink glasses and he asks, “What are you celebrating?”
“My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I’m pregnant!”
“What a coincidence,” says the man. “I’m a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they’re finally fertile.”
“That’s great,” says the woman. “How did your chickens become fertile?”
“I switched c*cks,” he replies.
“What a coincidence,” she said.

What’s the difference between gynecologists and bartenders?
Gynecologists only look at one c*nt at a time.

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What’s the difference between gynecologists and dentists?

The blonde asked her gynecologist, “Why do I find postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vag?”
The amused doctor replied, “Those aren’t postage stamps, they’re the stickers that come on bananas!”

At a gynecologist’s conference, a French gynecologist tells an English gynecologist he saw a woman the day before whose cl*toris was exactly like a melon.
The English gynecologist, a bit horrified at the thought, exclaims, “My God, but that’s huge!”
The French guy laughs and says, “No, no, no, you English, always so obsessed with the size! I was talking about the taste!”

What do you call a retired gynecologist?
One who thinks outside of the box!

Did you know all gynaecologists are Australians?
They’re all bush doctors who work down under.

Sara goes to the gynecologist for an examination.
She gets up on the examining table with her feet in the stirrups, and the doctor, with his head now between her legs, whispers to himself, “My, what a large vag. My, what a large vag. My, what a large vag. My, what a large vag.”
“I heard you the first time! How many times must you say that?”
“I only said it once!”

What did the gynecologist say when playing Pokémon?
“Let me get a Pikachu!”

What do you call a man who repairs dishwashers?

A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh.
He asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.” “That is right,” said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. “Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asked. “Yes,” the woman said, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.” “Correct,” replied the shady doctor.
Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, “Do you know what I’m doing now?
“Yes,” she said. “You’re getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place!”

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How can you pick out the gynecologist in a roomful of doctors?
He`s the one with his watch on his elbow.

Who has the most disappointing job in the world?
Gay gynecologist.

A man went into the Job Center in Denver and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist’s Assistant. Interested, he asked the clerk for details.
The clerk pulled up the file and read: “The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they’re ready for the gynecologist’s examination. The annual salary is $65,000.” “You’ll have to go to Billings, Montana,” the clerk added.
“Good grief”, the man asked, “Is that where the job is?”
“No sir . . . that’s where the end of the line is right now.”

What is a common misconception about male gynecologists?
Male gynecologists like looking at pu**y because it fills some innate sexual need. Wrong, it instead fills the innate male need to tinker with stuff under the hood.

How are Gynecologists and DoorDash drivers doing the same job in a way?
It’s all smell but no taste.

A lady called her gynecologist and asked for an “emergency” appointment.
The receptionist said to come right in. She rushed to the doctor’s office and was ushered right into an examination room. The doctor came in and asked about her problem.
She was very shy about her emergency problem and asked the gynecologist to please examine her vag. So the doctor started to examine her. He stuck up his head after completing his examination.
“I’m sorry, Miss,” he said, “but removing that vibrator is going to involve a very lengthy, delicate, and expensive surgical operation.”
“I’m not sure I can afford it,” sighed the young woman. “But while I am here could you just replace the batteries?”

Yo mama so fat, her gynecologist uses full scuba gear and a head-mounted spotlight to give her an exam.

A retired Gynecologist is out sailing the world, sipping cocktails, and enjoying his spare time hopping from hobby to hobby.
It’s like he used to say to his old clients, “As long as I put the work in now, the day will come when I’ll be able to enjoy the fruits of your l*bia.”

Three pregnant women – a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead – are at their gynecologist to reveal the gender of their babies.
The redhead states confidently, “I know my baby is going to be a boy, because I got pregnant with my man on top”
The brunette states, “I know I’m going to have a girl, because I was on top when I got pregnant”
The blonde bursts into tears and cries “I’m gonna have a puppy!”

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A gynecologist walks into an exam room. The woman on the exam table shows the doctor two strange green dots, one on each inner thigh. Puzzled at first, the doctor examines them more closely. He then asks the woman “Would you happen to be a lesbian?” The woman answers “Why, yes, but I don’t see what that has to do with these dots!” The doctor replied.. “Tell your girlfriend to get some REAL gold earrings!”

What do you call someone who studies black holes?
A gynecologist in Nigeria.

Do you have a funny Gynecologist joke? Write down your own puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

3 thoughts on “70 Funny Gynecologist Jokes Straight From The Exam Room”

  1. You know when you get the urge to eat something just because it’s there?
    Anyways, I lost my job as a gynecologist today.

  2. I’ve never been to a gynecologist’s office, but I have some ideas about what happens there …
    It’s all just speculation of course.


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