50 Funny Doctor Doctor Jokes to Cure Your Blues

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Jessica Amlee

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Doctors are those folks clad in white coats that are often seen with a stethoscope slung around their necks. They are the go-to people for everything from a sneeze to a serious ailment. They’re the guardians of health, the warriors against disease, and sometimes, unintentional comedians. While they’re known for their medical jargon and serious advice, there’s another side to them that’s less talked about but equally amusing. This side surfaces not in the clinics or hospitals, but in the world of jokes. Yes, we’re talking about Doctor Doctor jokes – a delightful blend of medical knowledge and humor, served with a side of laughter.

Doctor Doctor jokes are the lighter side of medicine, where the prescription is always a good laugh. These jokes turn the typically serious doctor-patient conversations into a hilarious exchange, providing a much-needed break from the usual health chatter. It’s like flipping the script on the traditional roles, where the doctor, instead of doling out medical advice, delivers a punchline that’s bound to tickle your funny bone. So, as we delve into the world of Doctor Doctor jokes, let’s remember that sometimes, the best medicine doesn’t come in a bottle, but in a burst of laughter.

Best Doctor Doctor Jokes

“Doctor, doctor! I think I’m going deaf.”
“Can you describe the symptoms?”
“Yes, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair.”

A man woke up and called out, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!!”
The doctor responded, “I know, I amputated your arms!”

“Doctor, doctor! I think I’m a dog!”
“Have a seat and we’ll talk.”
“But I’m not allowed on the sofa.”

A shrinking man visits his doctor yelling, “Doctor! Doctor! I’m getting smaller and smaller and smaller!”
His Doctor replies, “Now now, I can’t fix things right away, you’ll just have to be a little patient.”

“Doctor, doctor! I’ve swallowed my pocket money!”
“Take this and we’ll see if there’s any change in the morning!”

“Doctor, doctor! All five of my boys want to be valet when they grow up!”
“Sounds like a really bad case of parking sons disease.”

“I’m afraid you have chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia.”
“Onomatopoeia? What’s that?”
“I’m afraid it’s exactly what it sounds like.”

“Doctor, doctor! I can’t stop singing ‘I Want It That Way’.”
“Tell me why.”

“Doctor doctor! I keep thinking I’m a dog.”
“Sit down and tell me about it.”
“I can’t, I’m not allowed on the furniture.”

“Doctor, doctor! I’ve got broccoli between my toes, a carrot in my ear, and some fries up my nose.”
“It seems to me you’re not eating properly.”

“Doctor, doctor! I can’t stop singing Delilah!”
“It sounds like you have Tom Jones Syndrome.”
“Is it common?”
“It’s not unusual…”

“Doctor, doctor! I think I need glasses!”
“You certainly do, sir. This is a fish and chip shop.”

“Doctor, doctor! I keep having these weird dreams. Last night I dreamt I was a wigwam. The night before, I was a teepee.”
“Well, sir, it’s obvious. You’re just two tents!”

“Doctor, doctor! I swallowed a roll of film.”
“Well let’s more as this story develops.”

“Doctor, doctor I think I’ve got subjunctivitis.”
“Don’t you mean conjunctivitis?”
“Would that it were doctor, would that it were.”

“Doctor, doctor! I think I’m a curtain!”
“Calm down. Pull yourself together.”

“Doctor, doctor! I think I’m a bell!”
“Take these pills. If it doesn’t get better, give me a ring!”

“Doctor, doctor! I keep seeing pink and green dots in front of my eyes.”
“Have you ever seen an optician?”
“No, just pink and green dots.”

“Doctor, doctor! I’ve broken my arm in three places.”
“Then don’t go to those places.”

“Doctor, doctor! I’ve got a problem, I always have a poo every morning at 6 am.”
“What’s the problem with that?”
“I don’t get up until 8 am.”

“Doctor, doctor! Will I be able to play the violin after the operation?!”
“Yes, of course…”
“Great! I never could before!”

“Doctor, doctor! I keep getting these uncontrollable urges to steal things.”
“Take two of these tablets every day and if they don’t work, can you get me a television?”

“Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I’m a woman that delivers babies!”
“Don’t worry, it’s just a midwife crisis.”

“Doctor, doctor! I feel like I’m a bridge.”
“What’s come over you?”
“Two buses, five cars, and a bicycle!”

“Doctor, doctor! I have a lettuce stuck in my bum.”
“It appears that this is just the tip of the iceberg!”

“Doctor, doctor, I have strawberries growing out of my a*se.”
“It’s OK. We have cream for that!”

“Doctor, doctor! I can’t stop wearing see-through trousers.”
“Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”

“Doctor, doctor! I keep seeing into the future.”
“Really? When did this start?”
“Next Tuesday.”

“Doctor, doctor! I feel a stabbing pain in my eye every time I drink tea!”
“Have you tried taking the spoon out?”

“Doctor, doctor! It hurts when I touch my elbow, my knee, and my ankle.”
“You’ve got a broken finger.”

“Doctor, doctor! I swallowed a sheet of glass.”
“That sounds like a pane.”

“Doctor, doctor! I keep dreaming I wrote The Lord of the Rings.”
“Ah, you’ve been Tolkien in your sleep.”

“Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pack of cards.”
“Sit over there I will deal with you later!”

“Doctor, doctor! my nose is running and my feet smell.”
“You’re upside down!”

“Doctor, doctor! My back hurts when I get up in the morning!”
“Get up in the afternoon then!”

“Doctor, doctor! Please help. I’ve got uncontrollable flatulence. However luckily they don’t make a sound or smell!”
“Take these drops for your hearing, and these for your sense of smell!”

“Doctor, doctor! I feel like I’m becoming a cowboy.”
“How long have you felt like this?”
“About a YeeEEE-Ha!”

“Doctor, doctor! My arm is talking! …it’s asking for £10!”
“Yup, your arm is broke.”

“Doctor, doctor! I’m addicted to eating small chairs.”
“I’ll need a stool sample.”

“Doctor, doctor! I feel like a cricket ball!”

“Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I’m a moth!”
“You have the wrong building sir, the Psychiatrist is next door!”
“I know, but your light was on!”

“Doctor, doctor! Everywhere I go people keep ignoring me!”

“Doctor, doctor! I have an irrational fear of sausages.”
“I fear the wurst!”

“Doctor, doctor! I feel like I’m a small island off the coast of Italy.”
“Don’t be Sicily!”

“Doctor Doctor! I’ve developed a terrible speech impediment!”
“Come now, how bad can it really be?”
“I can no longer pronounce the letter F or TH in any sentence!”
“Well, you can’t say fairer than that then.”

“Doctor, doctor! I feel like an electric current.”
“Are you positive?”

“Doctor, doctor! Can you tell me what’s the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?”

“Doctor, doctor! I’ve got terrible diarrhea.”
“And when did you first notice these symptoms?”
“When I took my bicycle clips off!”

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“Doctor, doctor! I’ve got a sausage in my nostril, bacon in my ear, and scrambled egg in my hair.”
“Hmmm, have you been eating properly?”

“Doctor, doctor! I have a steering wheel in my pants.”
“It’s drivin’ me nuts!”

“Doctor, doctor! I feel like a bar of soap.”
“That’s not soap, that’s life, boy.”

“Doctor, doctor! My husband thinks he’s a cow!”
“Well bring him in and we’ll have him assessed.”
“I can’t do that- we need the milk!”

Do you have a new and funny joke about Doctor Doctor? Write down the funny puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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