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What is the ‘Arnold Schwarzenegger I'll be bach’ joke?
Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenegger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume thatRead more
Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenegger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween.
See lessThey go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, “I think I’ll go as Beethoven.” Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, “I’ll be Mozart.” Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picked up a costume and said, “I’ll be Bach.”
What is the crow on the Orient Express joke?
A twitter user @jameshannah put out a tweet "Depluralise a film. I’ll start. Jaw." Another user @benjaminjudge replied "A Crow on the Orient Express."
A twitter user @jameshannah put out a tweet “Depluralise a film. I’ll start. Jaw.” Another user @benjaminjudge replied “A Crow on the Orient Express.”
See lessWhat’s the difference between an outlaw and an in-law?
Outlaws are wanted!
Outlaws are wanted!
See lessWhy can't you hear a pterodactyl pee?
Because they're dead.
Because they’re dead.
See lessWhy do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?
Because if they fell forward they'd still be in the boat!
Because if they fell forward they’d still be in the boat!
See lessWhat does the CIA stand for?
Comically Inept A**holes.
Comically Inept A**holes.
See lessWhat is the cheers mate nans joke?
This insult suggests that the DJ or creator is overestimating their skills or importance. By comparing them to a "nan" or "grandmother" at the top of the stairs thinking she's the formidable Chaser, it paints a picture of someone who is deluded or out of touch with their actual abilities or standingRead more
This insult suggests that the DJ or creator is overestimating their skills or importance. By comparing them to a “nan” or “grandmother” at the top of the stairs thinking she’s the formidable Chaser, it paints a picture of someone who is deluded or out of touch with their actual abilities or standing.
See lessThe word Chaser is related to the British game show The Chase, in which a seasoned quizzer plays the role of “the chaser,” attempting to catch competitors by providing more accurate answers than they do. The chaser is portrayed on the program as being aesthetically superior to the competitor, as though they are at the top of the steps/stairs when competing.
What does the FBI stand for?
Frogs Be Investigating.
Frogs Be Investigating.
See lessWhy are frogs always so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
They eat whatever bugs them.
See lessWhat is Google Pizza Joke?
Caller: Is this Gordon's Pizza? Google: No sir, it's Google Pizza. Caller: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry. Google: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month. Caller: OK. I would like to order a pizza. Google: Do you want your usual, sir? Caller: My usual? You know me? Google: AccordiRead more
Caller: Is this Gordon’s Pizza?
See lessGoogle: No sir, it’s Google Pizza.
Caller: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
Google: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
Caller: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
Google: Do you want your usual, sir?
Caller: My usual? You know me?
Google: According to our Caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
Caller: OK! That’s what I want …
Google: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
Caller: What? I detest vegetable!.
Google: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
Caller: How the hell do you know?!
Google: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
Caller: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
Google: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
Caller: I bought more from another drugstore.
Google: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
Caller: I paid in cash.
Google: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
Caller: I have other sources of cash.
Google: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
Caller: WHAT THE HELL?!!!
Google: I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
Caller: Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I’m going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me
Google: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…