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What is Google Pizza Joke?
Caller: Is this Gordon's Pizza? Google: No sir, it's Google Pizza. Caller: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry. Google: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month. Caller: OK. I would like to order a pizza. Google: Do you want your usual, sir? Caller: My usual? You know me? Google: AccordiRead more
Caller: Is this Gordon’s Pizza?
See lessGoogle: No sir, it’s Google Pizza.
Caller: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
Google: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
Caller: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
Google: Do you want your usual, sir?
Caller: My usual? You know me?
Google: According to our Caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
Caller: OK! That’s what I want …
Google: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
Caller: What? I detest vegetable!.
Google: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
Caller: How the hell do you know?!
Google: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
Caller: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
Google: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
Caller: I bought more from another drugstore.
Google: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
Caller: I paid in cash.
Google: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
Caller: I have other sources of cash.
Google: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
Caller: WHAT THE HELL?!!!
Google: I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
Caller: Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I’m going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me
Google: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…
What is the 2137 joke in Poland?
Paul II passed away at 21:37. Imagine the degree of pride in having a Polish Pope given that he was Polish. The youth have been made quite sick of the Pope by old-fashioned people in Poland. They had this other history in which he successfully eradicated communism on his own. Because Poland's catholRead more
Paul II passed away at 21:37.
See lessImagine the degree of pride in having a Polish Pope given that he was Polish. The youth have been made quite sick of the Pope by old-fashioned people in Poland. They had this other history in which he successfully eradicated communism on his own. Because Poland’s catholic majority viewed his pronouncements as the final word on politics during his lifetime in the 1990s, several of his statements there were made into laws. Legislation governing abortion or condoms. Youth have been forced-fed tales about him since they were little children, and they have often seen kid-friendly films and cartoons that portray him as a superhero.
Simply put, the new gen is just tired of it—especially now that they know more. Children like making fun of this dedication because they are simply sick of this garbage. Additionally, they are aware that he concealed pedophilia, outlawed condom use in Africa, and nearly single-handedly provided the perfect environment for the HIV epidemic to spread.
So… the hour of mocking the pope is at 21:37. It became a meme to sign a song about him – Barka – at this time.
What's your best 10/10 date joke?
Are you today’s date? Cause you’re 10/10!
Are you today’s date?
See lessCause you’re 10/10!
What does 31 mean sexually in Turkish?
In Turkish slang, "31" (otuz bir) is a euphemism for masturbation. The origin of this association comes from the Abjad numerals, an old Arabic numeral system where each letter of the Arabic alphabet has a corresponding numerical value. The word "el" in Turkish, which means "hand," when written in ArRead more
In Turkish slang, “31” (otuz bir) is a euphemism for masturbation. The origin of this association comes from the Abjad numerals, an old Arabic numeral system where each letter of the Arabic alphabet has a corresponding numerical value. The word “el” in Turkish, which means “hand,” when written in Arabic letters, has a numerical value of 31 (Alif with a value of 1 and Lam with a value of 30).
See lessSo the phrase “31 çekmek” would literally mean “pulling the hand”. The idea that it comes from the visual semblance of 3 to testicles and 1 to p*nis is folk etymology.
Another question arises why isn’t it 13 but 31? No idea. It results from something called ‘ebced hesabı‘ (abjad calculation).
What is a Vampire's least favorite food?
Steak.
Steak.
See lessWhat is a Vampire's favorite food?
Neck-tarines.
Neck-tarines.
See lessWhat is the Grandpa selling Watermelon Business Joke?
An old man is selling watermelons. His pricelist reads: 1 for $3, 3 for $10 A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon. "That'd be 3 dollars," says the old fella. The young man then buys another one, and another one, paying $3 for each. As the young man is walking away, he turns around, griRead more
An old man is selling watermelons.
See lessHis pricelist reads: 1 for $3, 3 for $10
A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon. “That’d be 3 dollars,” says the old fella.
The young man then buys another one, and another one, paying $3 for each.
As the young man is walking away, he turns around, grins, and says, “Hey grandpa, do you realize I just bought three watermelons for only $9? Maybe business is not your thing!”
The old man smiles and mumbles to himself, “People are funny. Every time they buy three watermelons instead of one, yet they keep trying to teach me how to do business…”
Why do Witches ride brooms?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
See lessWhat DIY tools do you use in Math?
Multi-plyers!
Multi-plyers!
See lessWhat are your best Jimmy Savile jokes?
A man walks into the library and asks the librarian, "Excuse me, would you have any books about Jimmy Savile?" The Liberian replies, "Actually, we have sir, some boy just took it in the sh*tter." "That's the one," the man replies.
A man walks into the library and asks the librarian, “Excuse me, would you have any books about Jimmy Savile?”
See lessThe Liberian replies, “Actually, we have sir, some boy just took it in the sh*tter.”
“That’s the one,” the man replies.