Traditional circuses have recently come under the spotlight – and a lot of criticism – for using exotic animals in their acts. Over the last 30 years, horrifying accounts of animal cruelty have emerged, and protesters have worked relentlessly to put an end to the practice of utilizing gorgeous wild creatures for the enjoyment of the paying public. Circuses have declined during the last three decades, partly due to other types of media becoming more popular, but also due to these stories of animal abuse.
Famous circus producers in the world have shown the way forward with dazzling visual exhibitions of acrobatics, power, and agility, with no wild animals in sight. These amazing shows draw big crowds and travel throughout the world to play at the most prestigious venues. So, if you are going or planning to attend one of the shows with your friends and family, be ready to crack some of our circus jokes. After all, it is the circus show that people in cities, towns, and villages eagerly anticipate throughout festival seasons.
Funny Circus Jokes
Why did the circus lion eat the tightrope walker?
He needed a balanced meal.
What did the ringmaster say when the human cannonball quit his job at the circus?
“Please, no you can’t! We’ll never be able to find another man of your caliber!”
What is the hardest part about joining the circus?
They make you jump through all sorts of hoops.
What’s the difference between a circus and a sorority?
One’s a cunning array of stunts…..!
Why are squirrels not circus animals?
They don’t like to work for peanuts.
What do you call an elephant the circus no longer needs?
Why did the robber go to the circus?
To steal the show.
What planet is like a circus?
Saturn, it has three rings.
Remember the circus that started a competition to find the best contortionist?
So Jack entered himself and won.
Why did the Ringling Bros Circus finally go out of business?
They couldn’t compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer.
How do you build a flea circus?
You have to start from scratch.
Why did the circus performer call in sick?
He had a sword throat.
Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was intents.
Do you know why, all around the world, parliament’s roofs are built as a dome?
Have you ever seen a circus with a flat roof?
Why don’t circus bears eat the clowns?
They taste funny.
A man is speeding down a freeway, miles above the speed limit when he gets pulled up by a cop.
“Why were you speeding today, sir?” he says as he approaches the car. The guy replied, “I’m a juggler in a circus, and I’m running late for my next performance. Please accept my apologies. I’m guessing you’ll need my license and registration.”
The cop is puzzled and replies, “Hold on a second. My daughter enjoys juggling. I’ll let you go with a warning if you let me record you for a minute and send it to my daughter.”
“Officer, I don’t have my equipment with me; I have to ship everything separately,” the juggler explains. After a few moments of thought, the officer returns with five flares from his pocket and lights them.”
The officer is impressed as the juggler begins to toss and catch the burning flares.
Meanwhile, another man driving by pulls over and comes to a complete stop. He walks out, into the rear seat of the police car, and shuts the door. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to slowly come out of the vehicle,” the officer says as he approaches with his revolver drawn.
The man looks at the cop and chuckles, his words slurred, “Sorry officer but I ain’t never gonna pass that new sobriety test you got there.”
How do you kill an entire circus at once?
Go for the juggler.
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Why didn’t the clown get the job at the circus?
He just wasn’t It.
How is marriage like a three-ring circus?
First, there’s an engagement ring, then a wedding ring, then suffering.
Which circus actor is triggered the easiest?
A man goes to the circus.
After the show, he speaks to the manager and asks for a job.
“Alright, what can you do?”, the manager asks.
“I can do great bird impressions”, the man replies.
“Pssh, a lot of people can do that,” said the manager.
“Oh well,” the man says and flies away.
What treat did the Hindu kid get at the circus?
Did you hear about the fire at the circus that spread to the shoe factory next door?
A thousand soles were lost.
Remember the doctor who had dreams of being a circus clown?
He had given up because he could never juggle more than two balls with one hand.
What happened when the magician got mad?
She pulled her hare out!
A man and his wife are having dinner.
“Ringling Brothers will be in town this week,” she said. “According to the poster, they have a dancing bear. That was something I had always wanted to see.”
“Perhaps next year,” the man says. “Work has been really hectic this week.”
The man can barely sit down at dinner the next night before his wife begins chattering eagerly.
“The tightrope walkers were doing the Hokey Pokey right up there on the wire, according to the neighbors who went to the event today! Can you imagine?”
“I’d love to take you,” the man said. “But the boss will be furious if I don’t finish this project.”
The wife gushed the next night about how the paperboy told her how a dozen clowns came out of this tiny car and did the can-can in bloomers, and it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen. The man was starting to feel guilty about not being able to take her, but work was work.
The wife felt depressed the next night.
“Last night, the lion tamer and the girl who rides the elephants did the waltz and it was just exquisitely romantic,” she said as told by her book group. “We seem to be the only ones in town who haven’t seen the show yet, and they only have one more tomorrow! Can’t we just go?”
The man reconsiders it and decides that this may be their only chance to see such a thing and that work can wait. He phones a buddy and asks him to fill in for him at work the next day, and the man and his wife go to bed looking forward to attending the show.
The next day at work the boss notices the man is out and inquires about it with the friend.
“Oh,” says the friend. “He can’t come in today due to four unseen circus dances.”
Did you hear stories about clown sightings in the news lately?
It’s a media circus out there.
What do you call an event full of CGI clowns?
An Andy Circus.
Which circus performers can see in the dark?
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What do you call a guy in a circus sideshow with vacuums for arms?
A neat freak.
A guy encounters an elephant while on a safari in Africa.
It’s in pain and laying on the ground. He looks into it and discovers a thorn in its foot.
He takes it off, and the elephant trots away cheerfully.
The same guy is standing in London, 20 years later, watching a circus procession pass by.
When an elephant approaches him, it stops, looks him in the eyes, reaches out with its trunk, lifts him into the air, and crushes him into the ground.
It was a different elephant.
Did you hear about the mass shooting at the circus?
A dyslexic clown got confused about the 2nd Amendment and armed the Bears
What do you call a dog in a circus?
A carnival barker.
Heard about the man who lost his job as a trapeze artist?
One day they just let him go.
What happened to the elephant who ran away with the circus?
The police made him bring it back!
A circus husband and wife go to an adoption agency to adopt a child, but the social workers there have reservations about their suitability.
So the couple takes images of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well-maintained and has a lovely nursery.
The social workers are pleased, but they are concerned about the type of education a child would receive while in the care of the couple.
“We’ve arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the regular topics as well as French, Mandarin, and computer skills,” the husband reassures them.
However, the social workers are concerned about a youngster being raised in a circus environment.
“Our nanny is a trained expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet,” the wife claims this time.
Finally, the social workers are satisfied and ask the couple, “What age child do you hope to adopt?”
The husband says, “It doesn’t really matter, as long as the kid fits in the cannon.”
What happened to the trapeze artist that did drugs on the job?
He got suspended.
What’s the difference between an Italian barber and an angry circus ringmaster?
One is a shaving roman and the other is a raving showman.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To get his rubber chicken.
Did you hear about the circus clown’s funeral?
All his friends came in one car.
A horse walks into a bar.
“Bartender, scotch on the rocks, please!” he says.
“Did you just talk?” says the bartender, blinking his eyes in bewilderment.
“Yes, why?” responded the horse.
“It’s simply fantastic! I’ve never seen a horse that talks! You should definitely go talk to the local circus; they would love to have someone with your abilities!”
The horse replied, “Why? Are they short on electricians?”
What material is a clown’s costume made from?
How do you make a juggler laugh?
You tickle his balls.
What do you call a woman falling in love with a carnie?
What do crazy people do at a carnival?
Go on an emotional roller coaster.
One day after returning home, Alex checks the newspaper and notices that a local circus is hiring.
He calls the circus to apply for a job since he wants to make a change in his life.
“Sure, could you tell us about your act?”
“Well, I studied trapeze for fun and can execute flawlessly without a net.”
“Thank you, but we already have plenty of trapeze artists.”
“Okay, then. In basketball, I can make up to five perfect three-pointers.”
“That’s not very fascinating; what else can you do?”
“Well, I can solve a rubric cube in under five seconds and win any chess match in under three moves, so-“
“I’m going to put a stop to you right there, sir. All of this is impressive, but we are a circus. We need things that the public can see and enjoy, so I don’t think you’re a good fit, but have a great life.”
They hang up, and Alex is disappointed as he goes about his day, eating and relaxing, until it dawns on him.
“Damn, I should have told them I’m a horse!”
What do you call a superhero that is also a trapeze artist?
Why did the clown leave the cheese circus?
He couldn’t get his Stilton.
How did the bad tightrope walkers meet?
On the net!
On which day do circus lions eat lion tamers most often?
Timmy adores clowns. Favorite thing on the planet.
He has a clown bedspread, posters in his room, and works. They are completely idolized.
Timmy notices one day that the big top circus is coming to town. He gets so eager that when it arrives, he camped out in front of the ticket counter, hoping to snag the greatest seat in the house. When he gets it, he spends another two weeks camping outside the big top in anticipation.
The circus has finally arrived, and Timmy is prepared. He gets a large popcorn and a soda and sits in the front row. The lights go off. The elephants, tigers, and acrobats then appear on their balls. The clowns then arrive in their mini-VW Beatle, piling out one by one. The chief clown then emerges and rushes over to Timmy, who is giddy with joy.
“Are you the horse’s head?” The clown inquires. Timmy was perplexed and unsure how to answer. “Then you must be the horse’s ass!” The clown is done. The audience erupts in laughter. He was annihilated. His idols had just humiliated him in front of hundreds of people. So Timmy devised a strategy.
Timmy devotes the next few years to studying the art of witty comebacks. He obsesses about it throughout high school and college, eventually graduating with an English degree specialising in funny comebacks. Timmy then establishes his own university, the university of witty comebacks, where he can educate people the art of the comeback.
After a few decades, he notices that the big top circus has returned to town. So he spends two weeks camped out in front of the ticket desk in order to obtain the greatest seat in the house. Then another two weeks pass before the show begins.
He arrives without any popcorn or a drink. He must concentrate and ensure that he is flawless. Then the lights go out. The elephants appear, followed by tigers, acrobats, and, eventually, clowns. Just like before they all climb in and the head clown marches straight up to Timmy.
“Are you the horse’s head?” asks the clown.
Timmy grabs the microphone and yells, “Fuck you, clown!”
Did you hear about the trapeze artist?
Caught his wife and another guy in the act.
How is being at the singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus, the clowns don’t talk.
Did you hear that something suspicious is going on at the circus?
We just need to find the ring leader!
Why did the Invisible Man go on stage?
To perform a vanishing act.
The circus comes to town with a unique challenge: make the bull elephant kneel and you’ll win $1000.
Jimmy approaches the elephant and gives it a powerful kick in the balls after watching several people attempt everything. The elephant collapses, and the elephant’s owner, denouncing Jimmy’s heinous ways, turns up the money.
The circus goes on to the next town, and Jimmy, seeing an opportunity, follows. Once again, the good citizens attempt to bring the elephant to his knees, and Jimmy steps forward to deliver the terrible blow and earn his reward.
The elephant’s owner is now concerned about his elephant’s health and chooses to change the challenge.
The next day, Jimmy shows up, but the owner stops him and tells him that in order to receive the award, he must make the elephant nod and shake its head.
Jimmy walks up to the elephant and says, “Remember me?”
“Want me to do it again?”
Why couldn’t the trapeze artist complete a full somersaulting transfer in mid-air?
Because he didn’t give a flying flip.
Why is it hard to hire a clown for circus?
They have big shoes to fill.
What do you get if you cross a fruit and an acrobat?
An apple turnover!
A young boy, his mother, and his father are watching elephants at a circus.
When the young child spots something dangling between the elephant’s legs, he becomes concerned. “Mommy, what’s that dangling between the elephant’s legs?” he inquires.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” his mother says.
“Daddy, what’s that dangling between the elephant’s legs?” the little child asks his father.
“That, son, is a penis,” his father says.
“Then why did mommy claim it was nothing?” the boy wonders for a minute before saying.
The father puffs up with pride and says, “Because I’ve spoiled that woman, son.”
How do cannibals feel about trapeze artists?
They want their parts as a balanced breakfast.
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What do you get when a Trapeze has eaten Taco Bell?
A Shit Show.
What’s a circus master’s favorite type of cigarette?
The circus manager needed someone to replace a lion tamer who had quit without warning for the next night’s show.
He placed an ad in the local paper, and two applicants showed up outside his office the next morning. One was a rather ordinary young man, while the other was a stunning redhead beauty. Neither of them resembled a lion trainer, but the management was desperate.
“All right, here’s a whip, a chair, and a gun,” he said. Let’s see what you can do over there with big Leo. We’ll give you the first shot, miss, but be careful- he’s a nasty.”
The stunning redhead went passed the whip, chair, and gun, and entered the cage unafraid.
Big Leo snarled and charged across the cage toward her with a ferocious drive. The girl threw open her coat as the lion approached. She was completely naked underneath. Leo came to a halt and crawled the remaining distance on his belly, nuzzling the girl’s feet with his nose and purring and licking her trim ankles.
The astonished circus manager grinned happily and turned to the pop-eyed young man. “Well, young fella,” he asked, “think you can top THAT?”
“Yeah?” panted the applicant, “Just get that stupid lion out of there,”
What do you call a trapeze artist that slips?
Did you hear about the orgy at the circus?
It was fucking intense.
Did you hear about the guy who circumcises elephants for the circus?
The pay is lousy but the tips are enormous.
What do a trapeze artist and a guy getting a blowjob from an 80-year-old have in common?
Neither one wants to look down.
Have a better joke about the circus? Let us know your puns in the comment section below!
My friend worked in a circus who did a human cannonball act. Never replaced him when he retired, couldn’t find anyone else of the same calibre.